First choice name is same as ex

[Betsyboo87]

I’m 38 weeks pregnant with a boy. We have a shortlist of 3 names but both of us would pick the same one as first choice so it seems like a no brainier. However, I dated someone with this name. I really liked him at the time but he didn’t want anything serious so it fizzled out in less than 6 months. It was nearly 15yrs ago now. It’s not someone I ever think of, but I wonder if others would think it weird? Or are my pregnancy hormones making me over think this? It’s a top 10 name if that makes a difference so there are plenty of them about.

If both of you love it and it's so far in the past, go for it. I would only think twice if your DP had a problem with it.

I'm 31 weeks and not decided on names either. Everything I've read says that once that is YOUR baby's name, it will stop belonging to someone you once knew, if that makes sense. There's not many names on our list that don't belong to someone I knew/went to school with/worked with etc. Some more complicated than others - there's a name we both love but it was the name of a friend I fell out with when we shared a house together years ago, and then she died, so that's really hard for me to just get over! But with others I think I'd soon move past it if I loved the name.

The only thing I would say is that I would talk to your partner about it if you haven't already, make sure they don't feel weird about it, especially if they are ever likely to find out about this person from your past.

I'm sure whatever you choose when baby is born will be perfect, it will just feel right so don't stress too much!

I was prepared to say yabu until I read it. Sounds like it was a casual thing and not even someone I would consider an 'ex' tbh so you are fine to use it

I was just about to type... definitely use it but then thought if my OH had dated someone for 6 months and wanted to use the name of that person I think I'd be a bit put out, but maybe that's just me 🤷🏼‍♀️ difficult one. If your OH isn't bothered then go for it xx

Totally fine to use it, he sounds distant and irrelevant.
If you were married to the guy or still hung up on him it would be a bit odd.
But you both like the name, I would use it.

Does your DH/partner know?

If the guy & I had parted on good terms & the memories were good ones I'd be ok with using it IF my DH knew & was happy with it. But it depends a bit how entangled he was with family & friends. I think I only have one short term Ex my F&F would be like WTF?

on the other hand there are billions of names out there... surely there's another name you'll both love?

if it was an ex of DH - it would happen over my dead body 😂😂

Go for it. It's not like it's an ex-husband or something. Dating someone for less than 6 months is nothing. I've probably forgotten the names of people my friends dated for short periods.

Thanks all for some perspective. DH is fine with it, he didn’t know I had dated someone with this name until I said because it wasn’t a significant relationship. We each had a long term one before meeting and I think it would be strange to use either of their names.

I keep thinking friends will find it strange as they knew me then but @TurnLeftAtTheBakery is probably right, I am not sure they would make the link anyway.

My first choice name for my second was my husband’s ex’s name. We didn’t use it in the end, but the fact that our DD could potentially have the same name as his ex didn’t bother me in the slightest.

It might be a bit strange if his name was unusual, but as it's a really popular name I don't think there's any problem at all.

I named my daughter the same name as an ex of my DH. He only very briefly dated her around 18 years ago, has absolutely no connection to her whatsoever and I don't think she even lives in the country anymore. I loved the name so much and didn't want that to spoil it. Its not weird for us at all. I say go for it!