Renaming fictitious children, what would YOU choose?

[Lalaluuu]

Has anyone else ever learnt the name of a child in a book, film, etc, and just felt "ugh"? Underwhelmed? Like the name revealed is just a billion miles away from what you would choose if ~you~ were their fictional mummy?

I fully understand it may just be me here...

I propose a game of naming the poor things PROPERLY, with a name that actually suits them!

I'll start:

The Banks children in Mary Poppins returns...
Annabel and John are gorgeous, but "Georgie" makes my skin crawl! What's wrong with, simply, George?! I would rename his character "William", if I were Mrs Banks (and not dead) 😂

The Pevensies...
Peter, Edmund, and Lucy- so beautiful! But, Susan? She got the short straw there, in my view. I would rename her "Anna". Still a practical and "capable" name, but prettier and less clunky.

Where I am struggling to think of a name, is where there is officially no name... The name of Bea and Thomas McGregor's daughter (and subsequent children, I imagine they would have a minimum of 3). Interested to see what names you would suggest for their brood most of all, given their vibe and lifestyle and COMPLETELY BLOODY STUNNING home...

Come humour my silly little daydreams and amuse me whilst I sip my decaf and pretend I don't have laundry to attend to... Pretty please? Feel free to add your own too!

Peter, Edmund, and Lucy- so beautiful! But, Susan?
I really like the name Susan, always have done. I also like Peter.

Titty, in Swallow and Amazons, is a name that might not work well nowadays.

My friend Ann was always offended by "Anne with an e".

The baby in Swallows and Amazons was called Bridget. She comes into her own in the later books. It does really stick out that the eldest two have the very solid sensible names, reflecting their 'parental' roles (thinking especially of We Didn't Mean to Go to Sea) and the younger ones more (for want of a better word) fanciful ones, reflecting their greater freedom.

Doesn't the Lamb in Five Children and It have a very extravagant name that is absolutely not in keeping with the others (Cyril, Anthea, Robert, Jane - which I think are all quite of a piece)? We find it out in the chapter where he grows up, but I can't remember it right now.

Anne of Green Gables picked some awful names for her children.

Jem - named after Captain James; should've been called Matthew, which I think was his middle name. Name your eldest after the only father figure you've ever known, not the nice neighbour you knew for a couple of months, eh?

Walter - awful name, after her father apparently. Why not call him Gilbert after his dad? I can't help noticing Anne names two of her children after herself...

Nan and Diana - Diana's fine, I get why she'd want to name her after her childhood best friend. Nan (a NN for Anne, I think) is not so nice though, and they're a bit similar to each other with all the "an" sounds. She could have gone with Muriel, after Miss Stacy, her favourite teacher. Or Lavender, after her friend Miss Lavender. Bertha, after her mum. Leslie, after her friend down the road. Josephine, after Miss Josephine Barry whom she inherited from (though I can understand the Josie Pye link might put her off). Ruby, after Ruby Gillis who died. Cordelia. Loads of options she could have gone with ahead of Nan.

Shirley: I get that it was a boy's name then, but I still think naming not one but two of your kids after yourself is a bit egotistical. She could've gone with Cuthbert, to honour the Cuthberts, or David, after Davey who was basically her adopted little brother. Which brings me to...

Rilla: I don't actually like the name Marilla, but Rilla is quite sweet, and I get why, as Anne clearly has a thing for naming her kids after people she knew, she'd want to name her daughter after the only mother she ever knew. What I don't get is why took till her third daughter to do so!

Very good points about Anne's children's names. I thought the whole Captain Jim thing was quite poignant, though, given how profound that relationship becomes how quickly, and also in the context of him being around for Anne's loss of her first daughter (who is the only one to get a name of 'her own', that wasn't someone else's first - Joyce).

The Lamb is called Hilary. Not quite as out of step as it might have been, but still distinctly more frivolous than the others.

Ginty and Lawrence in Antonia Forrest's books. No problem with Virginia as a name - not one I would use, myself, though I can accept sin being else using it. But what kind of a nickname is Ginty? Surely she should have been Ginny? I also have a vague recollection that she was sometimes nicknamed Ginga. How do you pronounce that? Did she have red hair and that was meant to be Ginger with the er sound pronounced ah? Anyway, Virginia Marlow's nicknames always jarred and stopped the flow of my reading snd enjoyment of the books.

And as for Lawrence ' my parents had the name all ready for a boy and couldn't be bothered to think of another name for me'... OK, authors chose names to influence your feelings and expectations about characters, but was that ghastly back story all part of setting up why Lawrie is such an attention-seeking child? Gives me the ick.

I loved the pretentiousness of the Lamb's full name. IIRC it was something like Hilary St John Devere. Imagine calling your child St John! He definitely needed his nickname. It was only years later that I realised that St John is an actual name pronounced Sinjun, like St Clare is a name pronounced Sinclair.

Pam Marlow couldn't have known she was having twins back then, so must have had Nicola for a girl and Lawrence for a boy; Lawrie was the younger twin so got the short end of the straw. Although, Lawrence (female) is not a bad name for an actress - distinctive.

My great uncle Lawrence was known as Lawrie so I’m quite fond of that!

My friend was born a twin in the 60s and her mum's midwife said "you know I think you might be having twins" and mum said "well, unless it's one baby with two heads..." so some people did know!

Wendy in Peter Pan I never got on with Wendy Darling.

I think I would have lliked her to have a name like Elizabeth or Arabella or Catherine

It’s a very old name, comes from epiphany I think

Georgie is surely just a nn for George though op

Tiffany is from Theophania, a saint whose feast day is on Epiphany. As a name, Tiffany was first recorded as a surname.

Pat and Isabel (St Clares) is a terrible combination for twins. "Pat" must have really felt she got the dumpy frumpy name!

Oh yes, I've always thought this. Also Darrell and little sister Felicity from Malory Towers. Poor Darrell really got the shitty end of the stick there.

Of course, the problem is that all this name re-editing also involves real people bearing them. For instance, my sister is an Anne Withany*, and would have been offended by that Ann without one being offended. My sister Susan now identifies as Susie. And didn't Ruth in Swallows and Amazons rename herself Nancy? And why think Penny is a rural cottagy name? It's a 3000 year old royal name and a bit posh.
*There was a tale of someone having applied for something over the phone and having it delivered to ....
I used to admire the name Gareth in Arthurian stories until a boy yclept the same did something unspeakable in the school loos. Can't rename him. As soon as we start this, we are going to crash against other people's experiences.

I was going to suggest Fern, but actually Flora would work better