Ex BFF used a baby name that we chose

[Anonymousss1990]

Looking for some insight. My husband and I decided on a name months ago for our baby girl. This particular name happens to be a name that I decided on when I was about 12-15 years old (I am now in my 30s). The name is Lucy. It just so happens that my ex best-friend whom I do not talk to, do not have on social media, and have not seen in a few years picked Lucy for her daughter a few months ago. The kicker is I never expressed to her that this was a name I had always chosen for my future child when we still spoke.

My question is, can we still use the name Lucy? We live nowhere near each other and the chances of us running into each other are somewhat slim, however, knowing that she chose this name has made me question if we should be picking something else.. I have since researched names looking for something else that I may like better, but I just can't seem to find one that I like better than Lucy...

Why does it matter if you don't talk to her OP?

Sorry I'm just a little confused why this is bothering you when you don't have a friendship with her anymore? I'd understand if you were still good friends but if your not then I just can't see the issue?

Of course you can use the name Lucy.

A person who is not in your life and that you never see used a name. Why is this a question?

You can use the name Lucy too but it sounds like it's niggling at you already that she's used the name before you so
I'd probably choose another.

Of course you can. I lost touch with a friend from school, when we got back in touch years later it turned out we had given our two sets of children exactly the same names. It's quite likely if you were friends you liked the same names, and since you are no longer friends and won't see each other again presumably, it doesn't matter if your children have the same name (I would argue it doesn't matter even if you are still friends!).

Of course, there’s no reason not to use it!

I'm confused as to why you even need to ask, you can call your baby whatever you like

I used the same name my ex HUSBAND called his kid two years after our divorce. I had a wave of anxiety that he would think I'd chosen it because of him and his friends would think I was obsessed and blah blah blah but I used it because I'd always loved the name as do millions of others and a name belongs to no one. Who cares. Stop over thinking it. Lucy is lovely, my mum is a Lucia and she gets nothing but compliments.

Only thing that would put me off Lucy atm is the fact I've been listening to the Lucy Letby trial podcast.

Course you can use it (and it's a lovely name)

Lucy is hardly a unique name; your daughter will meet more Lucys at school.

Of course you can; it's a great name and you could very easily have used it without ever even knowing she used it too (if she ever finds out, she'll probably assume that's what happened, as it's quite a popular name).

But honestly, I would probably still use it even if you had reason to suspect she'd done it deliberately to annoy you. People talk about "stealing" names but unless the name is truly unique (in which case it would probably be a silly name anyway), there are always going to be people around with the same name. The important thing is that you love the name, and it would be a mistake to avoid it if it's what's going to make you happiest.

Definite overthink here. Why do people think they own names? I have the same name as parent's bff's daughter who was born less than a month before me and I don't think it ever caused issues for them. My parents had chosen that name for me and decided not to change it just because someone else had used it.

Seriously?

You said you liked the name Lucy when you were in secondary school. 2 decades later you learn one of your former school friends (who you no longer talk to) called their daughter Lucy and you think it’s of any significance at all?

No, absolutely you cannot use the name Lucy. The world will implode if you do. Hopefully you wise up a bit before this kid is born.

Kindly, you are way overthinking this love.
Call your beautiful daughter Lucy as you’ve always wanted and enjoy this special time xx

How do you know that she called her daughter Lucy if you don't have her on any socials/haven't seen her for ages?

But also, just use the name Lucy. If you don't see her it won't affect anything at all, it's a really common name and you'll probably regret not using it. Also it's beautiful!!

Goodness me is this real? If it is this is some real immature school yard ridiculousness. Of course you can use it

Not an issue, since it's not someone you/your child see regularly. Anyway most people will know/have met several Lucy's of various ages - it's not Lucilla or something rare. Likely only you will make the connection, and you'll have to decide if it bothers you enough to not use your favourite name (and whether you'd regret not using it in the future).

Why wouldn't you still use it, what are you even worrying about? Lucy is hardly an unusual name, and she's your EX friend so it's not like you're going to be hanging around eachother with your children?

A friend of mine gave her daughter the same name as my daughter, I don't mind at all, it's a nice name. No one owns a name.

You don't speak to her anymore

She doesn't know it's your favourite name

There's no way of her knowing you would have used the same name because you don't have her on social media (not that it matters because she's not your friend anymore)

And it's a normal name in which thousands of people have been named before.

But you're worried you can't use it? Yes OP, you can go ahead and use Lucy.

You could always use Lucille or Lucia if it bothers you.

Well Lucy is a popular name OP, so..

I sometimes think the internet is the worst thing that has ever happened!!
Why is this even crossing your mind??