Mixed race baby. Double barrelled surname?

[Rose429]

I’m Vietnamese and my DH is British. We’re living in the UK.

My surname is Nguyen (pronounced like “win” with the /w/ sounds more like /ng/). It’s the most popular surname in Viet Nam but I find most Brits understandably don’t know how to pronoun it. My husband’s surname is a simple English word with a meaning starting with D.

We’re thinking of giving our baby double barrelled surname Nguyen-D with no middle name to keep it simple. We want to honour both our heritages, but can’t help thinking we’re making life difficult for our baby with the hyphen and the spelling of Nguyen. Any thoughts?

Please use it and be proud !! Your child will thank you one day. It's your child's identity and heritage.

Do it. My kids have an equally impossible for brits to pronounce surname. It's their culture and heritage and you don't need to water it down.

I'm also team keeping dual heritage with the surnames but be careful how they sound together. If yours is pronounced 'win' and his begins with a 'd', depending on how long that surname is you don't want kids teasing them calling them 'windy' if thats how its pronounced. You know how kids can find anything that could remotely have anything to do with the rear end funny! In that case I'd see how it sounded with the surnames swapped.

@SaveMeFromMyBoobs , my friend has this surname and says it more like Wen. Not an issue once people know how to say it.

My DD is mixed race and we've done similar.
My nephew is mixed race his parents have done exactly the same as you have suggested. British first name, then double barrelled British- Asian surname. Think David Jones- Nguyen.

I think it's important to maintain links back to ethnic identities

I would use Vietnamese first name and British second name. I think people learn how to pronounce first names as it's more important but everyone will call her 'N goo yen', particularly for her school life when no one really learns surname pronunciation.

I meant Vietnamese first name and English surname.

Which surname do you use? I'd give the baby the same as what you use.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz I use Nguyen - didn’t change my surname to my husband as it’s not a Vietnamese thing to do. We’re married so I would like to give the baby something of DH also x

I'd go hyphenated. Don't try and hide away your name as a middle name. It's not that unheard of a name in the UK.

We have done this and it has been fine. My children love it and see it as a sign of their individuality. There is no other people on the planet with their surname.

Don't hide their dual identity away in the middle. Embrace it and help them navigate the world. The next generation far less judgey than their parents and they will thank you in the long-term

And if they want to change it when they are older they can, butat least it is their choice.

💯 this

Funny how a lot of people saying that a double barrelled name is a pain go on to automatically assume the name kept as a last name is the british husband's name, and the vietnamese name gets relegated to middle name. The baby could just as well have dad's last name as their middle name and only Nguyen as their last name.

OP, personally I wouldn't be happy with baby not having my name, and I wouldn't change my name either. So for me the options are either your name only, or Yourname-Hisname.

And the story about the swedish mom who wasn't "allowed" to teach her kids her language absolutely sucks. I only ever speak to my kids in my native language and anyone who tried to stop me would get pointed to the door pretty fast.

I think hyphenated names are often difficult, especially when one or both names are difficult individually. I’d do one of the surnames as a middle name and the other as a surname.

Mine is double barrelled to represent my Korean Mother/Welsh Father. When I got married I dropped the Welsh name and added my husbands Welsh name. So my kids have my Korean name and his Welsh name. They both get mispronounced, but we all survive!

I wouldn’t want a child that didn’t have my surname. That’s the key to me. Double barrelled are not my preference but both my DP and I wanted our DD to share our names, so she has a double barrelled one.

personally I would find your surname and it’s heritage fantastic as a child.

Go for it and be proud!

You can double barrel without a hyphen – there’s no rule. I don’t have a hyphen.

I did this 20 years ago and never regretted it - the kids love it and it's like an autobiography in their name - lost a parent recently and made that decision even better

As you're living in the UK Id go got Vietnamese first name, British middle name, double-barrelled surname. The only reason I'd do different is if the English part of the surname is very long.

And I agree it's mean (putting it mildly) to stop a mother speaking to her child in her own language.

But most of all, thank you for explaining how to pronounce your surname! I'd always wondered!

Double barrell.
I have an unusual name linked to my ethnicity and I have obviously met a lot of people who have never heard my name before nor know how to pronounce it.

A few years ago, I met an old colleague who told me she came across my name in a novel and that she felt a little thrill of excitement that she knew how to pronounce my name because she knew me.

That made me realise that when you have an unusual name from a non-British background, that doesn't align with typical English phonetic rules, you will be the first person with that name that others will meet. If they ever come across the name Nguyen in the future, they will remember your child.

Think about your child telling people the name, and others saying something like 'oh that's interesting, how do you say it again?' And your child can explain and maybe say 'it's Vietnamese', opening up some dialogue about his/her heritage. I definitely think you should include it.

I'm mixed race and nobody can pronounce my surname!

It was slightly annoying growing up but overall I've found it a real benefit to 'sound' mixed race nowadays. Conference organisers would rather have me to talk than say, 'Sophie Smith' or 'Laura Brown' at panels and I'm pretty certain get invited to more professional stuff in the name of diversity.

Just another perspective to throw into the mix.

It’s a well known surname in loads of areas of London.

My Dc (who themselves have a hyphenated surname one of which is not a European name) are adept at the pronunciation of Polish, Vietnamese, and a wealth of other names . It’s their normal.

Use your name as your baby’s surname. With your DH’s too if that is what he would like.

And a simple sounding first name easy for both your families to say.