Baby has two names

[itsmebutisitme]

We took a while to name our baby, she has an official name but has a nickname that everyone calls her by. I'm worried that when she starts nursery (very soon) that she won't know her real name or they will just use the nickname and then when she goes to school she won't know her name. Am I totally overthinking this? Should I start using her 'real' name....aahhh thanks.

How old is your baby? Nursery can also use the short version if you prefer.

You can ask both the nursery and the school to call her by her "preferred name" - that's perfectly normal nowadays. It would be useful for her to be familiar with her full name eventually, but there's no hurry. I was always known by a short form of my name but I think I knew about the long version by the time I was about 5, and it didn't confuse me. I just knew I had a longer name I could use when I was older if I wanted. !

This is totally normal and nursery will use her preferred name if you let them know. It would actually be a lot more disruptive and confusing to her to start at nursery and be called a name she doesn't associate with.

I've taught all sorts over the years including a child who thought his name was grub and another affectionately called piglet and they eventually all learnt their big name alongside their day to day name.

Is it like Lizzy short for Elizabeth or is it like... I don't know... Blondie because her hair is blond but she's really called Elizabeth?

I'm only being nosey here, I think as long as she knows her full name is X but she's usually called Y it's ok.

@R0ckets grub and piglet 😂💖

DD has a long name and then a nickname from that but not an obvious shortening of the long name (like Margaret being called Peg). We just told her that her name was xxxxxx but we call her xxxxxx.

School and nursery had full name and preferred name on the forms, so did swimming, brownies and most other things come to think of it.

They were both adorable and left me being able to write their given names and their big names. It's super common for a child to have a nickname and not actually know they are called the bigger longer more grown up name but the monikers of these two definitely stood out amongst the rest.

They will use what you ask them to use

But little children get to know they have a full name pretty soon, and often deftly deal with having separate family and friends nns as they get older.

Don’t worry about it

This has caught my heart! I bet Grub and Piglet were lovely.

My DD (2) has two given names, for cultural reasons. Her “English” name is first, then her “non-English” name as a middle, but she is called both at home. She defaults to using her English name when talking about herself, and that’s the one used most often by nursery, but she knows and uses her non-English name too. Thankfully it doesn’t seem to confuse her!

I think your DD will cope just fine whether nursery uses her full name or nickname. Maybe start using her full name too sometimes, explaining that she’s very special because she has two names? (Even if she’s really little - she’ll understand sooner than you think).

Yes, you are 100% overthinking this.

The baby will learn that she has an official (or longer, or whatever) name and another version tbst she's known by.

Babies and small children have no expectations of what form their names will take. They can cope with being known by their middle name, by the Irish version of their birth cert name, by an abbreviation of their name, y a name that's spelled the same as someone else in their class but pronounced differently...

Is it a diminutive of her full name or a totally unrelated nickname? If the former then it’s a non-issue. If the latter then you might want to introduce something closer to her full name. A friend of mine had a baby who became universally known as ‘Squidge’ as a family nickname. When the health visitor checked to see if he responded to his name they realised that he only responded to Squidge and started to make a consistent effort to incorporate his given name day-to-day.

If it is a different actual name then fine they will call her what she prefers (apart from on some documents that have legal name on) but best not to start with calling her princess , pumpkin or something that may be confusing and sadly she might be embarrassed about with other children. Just bring up her name casually, have conversations about names , talk about when she was born, show her birth certificate, there is plenty of time to prepare

Thanks everyone, you've put my mine at ease. The nickname is unrelated to her original name, it is a "real" name in its own right (not Fluffykins or Puddingface..!) but it is slightly more "out there" and I'm worried she's going to hate me when she's a teenager! I will start forcing myself to use her original name a bit more and hopefully she'll get used to both.

My DD is named one thing but called another, as she’s grown up she uses her actual name for work and her name we use socially which she’s happy with. I love both names.

her other name she uses socially

In the nursery forms at my nursery they have a preferred name section.

Awww Grub and Piglet 💖

We call our 2 year old a nickname completely unrelated to her name more often than her actual name but when you ask her what her name is, she knows it's the actual name even though she responds to both.

Love it ! Phew

DD has a ‘big name’ (not actually that big, but quite grown up sounding), and a ‘softer’ nickname that isn’t obviously related to the full name (along the lines of Margaret/Maisie).

She went exclusively by the nickname at nursery, but now she has started school she has decided to use her ‘big name’ more. In practice this means that the teachers refer to her by her full name while her friends alternates between both versions.

It’s never caused any issues, beyond occasionally having to explain where the nickname comes from, and she likes having a choice and being able to swap between the two. We taught her to write both versions of her name before she started school.

Hopefully it's put your mind at ease. I promise you she won't hate you for the nickname as a teen because by then she will be using her big name and the nickname will be a a nice long forgotten memory that pops up every now and then. It really isn't unusual and she will be fine adapting to both as she grows.

One of my siblings had a 'known as' name which is totally different to her actual name. I should ask her if she can remember learning she effectively has two names! Her known as name is only used by family and very close friends now (she is in her 30s). I've never known her to have any trouble with it.

Dd has a long name and an old fashioned shortening that many people do not realise is a traditional diminutive. As a baby we called her the diminutive and as a result all family, her primary school and anyone who has known her from small uses it. She's a teen now and at secondary started using her proper name so she has different people calling her different things. Then her secondary school friends started calling her a different diminutive. It's fine, all works. That sort of thing happens all the time. At uni I had friends we just renamed for spurious reasons and their names stick so they were known as Chris in our social group and James everywhere else. For example.... there were a few that got renamed. This makes us sound very odd....

DD has a longer name that is shortened to another name. She has just always known her names in the same way that DS knows his full name with middle names and family name. There’s never been a moment of confusion or explaining. Can’t imagine any need.