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Advice on this situation

21 replies

Whatwouldyoudo32 · 24/01/2023 13:56

Do you have any family members with similar names in your family?
Ever since I was younger I always wanted my dear Grandmothers name for a future daughter if the day ever came, I have always made it very clear to people as she was more like a second mother to me. My DP’s step sister in law announces her pregnancy and of course you can guess what the name was that she picked. I am now pregnant with DD1 and really want to still use the name for it has special meaning to me. What would you do?
The cousins will have different surnames and live a couple of hours from each other, we only get together for weddings and other family celebrations.

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KirstenBlest · 24/01/2023 13:59

Use it.

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SpanishOnion · 24/01/2023 14:06

Use it if you want to. I don't get why you say you'd 'always made it clear to people' you were going to use this name, though -- you weren't having a baby then. It's not like putting your towel on a sunlounger at 3 am.

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mondler · 24/01/2023 14:08

I'd still use it as it doesn't sound like they will see each other too often.

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TeddyBeans · 24/01/2023 14:11

I'd use it too

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Crunchymum · 24/01/2023 14:33

Depends on the name? How unusual is it?

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pairofrollerskates · 24/01/2023 15:37

I'd use it - they are hardly going to get mixed up, are they?

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LightDrizzle · 24/01/2023 15:40

Use it!

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Mommabear20 · 24/01/2023 15:44

Could you use it as a middle name? Obviously, no one owns a name and you'd have every right to use it if you wanted, but I personally think a child should have their own unique (on the family at least) name, otherwise it'll always be ' which one?' I speak from experience! My younger cousin has the shortened version of my name as their first name and it was so confusing growing up even though we weren't close as grandparents got us confused.

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Whatwouldyoudo32 · 24/01/2023 17:00

Names are as similar as Harriet and Hattie, not the actual girl names as it would be too outing

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Whatwouldyoudo32 · 24/01/2023 17:01

I do not really want to use the name as a middle name as I always dreamt my little girl would have this name

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Mommabear20 · 24/01/2023 18:39

I don't think Harriett and Hattie are too similar! Sorry I thought you meant it was THE name, or a very obvious shortened version (thinking along the lines of Victoria and Vicky).

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Luredbyapomegranate · 24/01/2023 19:37

Use it.

It doesn’t matter whether you ever mentioned it or not - neither of you own it.

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MolkosTeenageAngst · 24/01/2023 19:41

Harriet and Hattie are fine as cousins so assume your similar situation is also fine.

I have two cousins with the same name, there is a large age gap so we just have Little X and Big X. Also have a cousin 2 years older than my brother who has the girl equivalent of his name (eg: Christopher and Christine or Nicolas and Nicole) and both are known as the same nickname (eg: Chris, Nick). Never caused any issues.

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Businessflake · 24/01/2023 19:43

Whatwouldyoudo32 · 24/01/2023 17:00

Names are as similar as Harriet and Hattie, not the actual girl names as it would be too outing

So it’s not actually the same name? I’m confused.

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teapotfullofsquash · 24/01/2023 19:52

I know a family with an Anna and a Hannah as cousins. They see each other all the time aswel.if it's not the actual same name then I don't see the problem really 🤷🏻‍♀️

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opencheese · 24/01/2023 20:12

Partners step sister in law?

Thats not really family

Still use your chosen name

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Purpletopaz42 · 24/01/2023 20:50

I'd still use it as a first name, it clearly has special meaning for you and I don't think it's odd. You quite often get the same name or similar name in families.

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ThomasinaLivesHere · 24/01/2023 21:29

Use it! There seems enough distance.

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lifeinthehills · 24/01/2023 21:33

It's a family name. Use it.

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Oopswediditagain2023 · 24/01/2023 21:41

Lots of my cousins have the same name (family names passed down) and I've never really given it a second thought! Our DD has a similar name to her cousin (think one letter different similar) and it never even crossed my mind that it would be unusual but people do often mention it!

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user1492757084 · 31/01/2023 07:12

Use your planned name.
Reiterate that you have named her after your grandmother. Everyone will remember that.

You will be happy.
Daughter will delight in her name.
Daughter will not bother that her step cousin has the same first name. The girls will possibly adore the fact.

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