Can we avoid Thea?

[ChristmasJumpers]

With Theodora? Me and DH have been really struggling to agree on a name for DD due 30th March. I love Theodora and he is coming around to it but is worried people will default to Thea as a shortening.

I love the name for the other possible shortenings of Teddy, Dora, Dory, Dottie, etc. But have a close friend with a Thea (and I'm not massively keen on the name for my own DD)

Is it inevitable that people will use Thea when she hits school?

Yes,because if you always call her eg Dora, so will the teachers. They won't shorten her name to Thea randomly, they'll follow your lead.

You can probably have a good go at avoiding it but it’s not completely within your control.
Isadora?

Yes, If you call her Dora

I love just Dora tbh

No. You will not get to dictate the nicknames people give her. As a baby/young child yes, not as she grows and mixed with others.
I have a long name and always introduce myself to others by that name. It always amazes me when total strangers, often in a professional setting, shorten my name without asking.
Think Isabella being called Issy.

If you want to avoid Thea then I don't think using Theadora is going to work for you.

What if your daughter prefers Thea?

You can for sure. My kid is a Joseph but goes by a shortening (not Joe). People don’t even realise his full name is Joseph. You just introduce them how you want and people follow unless they’re a twat.

You can definitely avoid it - it's not the natural shortening in my view - unless she decides she wants to be called that as she gets older. Then it's obviously not possible - but, particularly if you have another friend with that name, she's not especially likely to want that nickname.
Particularly if you like a particular nn and use that for her yourselves, other people will fall in line with that.
I think it seems quite regional as to how likely nicknames are to be imposed. My children have names with natural and common shortenings (think Isabella, Nicholas, Benjamin, Rosanna) and we are in London and they've never been anything other than their full name (all older teens/early 20s now). One of them now spends a lot of time in a northern city and says it's a waste of breath telling people he doesn't go by a nickname - he finds it annoying and rude (and has put him off moving there!) but everyone assumes it. On Mumsnet people say that nicknames / shortenings are inevitable but I do think that must be regional.

Theodora (Still no edit button.)

I go by a shortening of my name that my mother does not like. But I like it and it is the obvious choice so people assume it will be my nickname.

If you really want to avoid it you will be able to when she’s small but once she’s older it becomes her choice, not yours. Also most of your preferred nn are a bit cutesy whereas Thea is a more mature name and it might suit her personality better.

Just introduce her to people with whatever nickname you like. People won’t call her Thea if you’ve said “This is Dorrie” anymore than they call someone introduced as Lex, Al. You need to be consistent though. If you introduce her as Theadora then people will call her Thea.

But when she is a teen she’ll probably announce she is now Thea, cos teens do that kind of thing. 😬

If you really want to avoid it you will be able to when she’s small but once she’s older it becomes her choice, not yours. Also most of your preferred nn are a bit cutesy whereas Thea is a more mature name and it might suit her personality better.

That. Your giving her a property full name, but intending calling her toddler type short versions. If she doesn't want to be known by an immature name or wants any kind of professional future, she's likely to prer Thea.

It's a lovely name. Have you thought about Dorothea. I think it's a more gracious version and less likely to get Thea.

Thanks everyone, bit of a mixed bag but I do think we'll end up going through at least a Thea 'stage' at some point if we stick with Theadora.

I have to say though, I hate when people associate name choices with career potential. Surely it makes no difference whatsoever. I work with people of all kinds of names in a professional setting. Some go by full name, some go by nicknames and it just doesn't factor into whether they get the job or not. Besides, if she's Theodora on her CV and gets the job, she can then introduce herself as whatever she likes on starting

People will follow your lead with a nickname and at school and nursery you generally fill out a form with full name and chosen name. I’ve never heard say Elizabeth known as Lizzie randomly being called Beth. Of course you can’t stop her choosing to use Thea when she’s older, but if she’s always been known as Dottie or Dora then there’s probably less chance of that.

People will follow your lead when she’s little. However once she’s older (eg a teen) she may have her own ideas and prefer a different NN- at that stage it’s best to just go with her preference which might be for Thea. This happened with my DD who was known by our preferred NN throughout primary school and then changed to a completely different one when she went to secondary (she has one of those names with lots of possible NNs).

I think you can avoid it when young but not when older. My brother has a long name with a very common derivative which my mother hated. Until he was about 12/13 he was always the full name. The nickname crept in at secondary school and his mates used that, he’s now in his 30s and I’ve not heard anyone including my dad use his full name for about 15 years! (Mum no longer around to be upset by this!)

Sorry don’t think my last but was clear. Imagine if she was Elizabeth (she’s not) and she was Libby throughout her life up to 11 and then she decided she wanted to be Beth and that’s the name all her secondary teachers and friends use. Totally fine with me and I’m pleased she has found a form of her name she likes. But might have been harder for me if I had hated the new NN.

Yes I wouldn’t have called my kid Joseph unless I liked the name Joe. He’ll probably go through a Joe phase! Do you dislike Thea OP or is it just because your friend has a Thea?

@MassiveSalad22 it's a bit of both really, I have a small number of close friends (and grew up with this friend in particular as our mums are also friends), so I feel like it will be odd if I effectively name my baby after hers.
As much as I love it and the other nicknames that come from it, I think I need to strike it off the list just in case 😞

At our school we put our preferred nick name down alongside the full version, teacher used the nickname which meant it stuck all the at through school. I guess it’s up to you to pick a shortened version and use it.

Yes, if you as others say always introduce a shortened nickname that isn’t Thea. Although she may actually like Thea herself so be prepared for that.

My DD has a name that can have various shortened versions. When I was pregnant my GM said I she will get called xyz, I said she bloody won’t it will be abc, her face wasn’t happy. I then realised she thought it was cute because that was her sons name 😬

My DD has only ever been known as her full name or our shortened version.

I have a friend with a Penelope that has only ever been known by Nella, and never Penny. If the parents use the nickname and the child introduces themselves to friends at school with the nickname, I think it's easy to avoid the nickname you don't like.

How about

Anthea, nn Annie
Leonora, nn Lee/Leah/Nora
Saskia
Cordelia
Seraphina
Xanthe

Is out Theodora?

Lovely name and could shorten to Teddie or Dora

Theadora looks wrong, Theodora is the usual spelling.