Announcing the baby's name to the older sibling: yes or no?

[FollowTheNorth]

Hi everyone,

I am expecting baby number 2 for mid-February. We are pretty settled on a name, and my husband wants to start using the name rather than saying 'the baby' with our first child (who will be almost three at time of birth).

Can I have some feedbacks on that? Do you think that would help our son get more used to the baby as a person? (If that makes sense). It was quite hard to find a name so it is unlikely that we will change our mind... but who knows lol.

Just not sure if it's a good idea or not, or if it doesn't matter in the slightest!

Thanks for your advice!

My niece once said to me something about how they’d done something for “Ruby, even though we didn’t know she was Ruby yet” and she was referring to the fact that they didn’t know who the unborn baby was inside my SIL. Almost as if Ruby was her whole personality, and she was a stranger before they knew it was Ruby in there all along. I’m not sure I can explain it very well, it’s sort of essentially what you’ve said about realising it’s a person. It made me want to give me son the names of his incoming baby sisters so that he could bond with them. Also probably helped him understand that two were coming out!

I refused to tell my family the names (you know, didn’t want opinions!) and little did I know they’d all asked him on the sly and he’d told them 😅

Son was similar age - 2y9m I think.

@FollowTheNorth , no. The baby might turn out to be a boy, or might just not look like the name you've chosen.

I don’t think it’s necessary and if you change your mind it would cause confusion

A pet name like Bean might be better

We told our 2 year old the name we had chosen and we all called baby that name from then on.

I do think it helped her understand that baby was a little person that we were just waiting to be ready to come out of my tummy. However, don't expect to be able to keep the name choice secret once the older sibling knows. DD1 name dropped quite often although people either didn't quite catch what she said in amongst all her chatter or politely pretended not to notice.

The morning of my csection when the PILs were looking after her she apparently asked very clearly several times when baby xxx would arrive. PILs did a grand job acting like they didn't already know baby's name when they visited us at the hospital. 😂

We did. DD1 (3) loved speaking about her by name and I think it did help a bit to have her spoken about like a person, as it's a tricky concept for a 3yo to grasp. But yes, don't do it if you don't want the name public knowledge! Although in fairness DD1 told everyone she was having a little brother called Reggie instead (she was having a sister who was not called Reggie!). Three times when I picked her up from nursery a different member of staff said 'Oh I hear you're having a little boy called Reggie!'

I am pregnant with b/g twins right now and told my DD (3.5 y/o) their names. She still just calls them "the babies", "her siblings", etc, but she does know their names. I don't see any harm if you are set on them

We did. I likes the idea big brother could get ready for baby x. When we had db3 I can't remember if we did or didn't.....Kids are fine both ways.

My husband used to say things like, "When we have Daniel Jane Elizabeth Andrew....". Mind you, he was as daft as a brush, bless him (and we actually didn't go on to have another child, it was all theory anyway :)).

I think it is a good idea, presumably you know the sex of your baby.

Well as we are expecting a boy (and the scan didn’t leave any doubt lol) that wouldn’t be much of a surprise 😝

Thanks everyone for your input! As we are in the difficult position of being French, living in the UK we did mention the few names we had in mind to have feedbacks as we needed to be sure that our choice does work in both countries. We haven’t fully confirmed our name choice to our relatives but our parents know what we have in mind, so we are not too fussed about our son revealing the name. Because clearly, you can’t ask a toddler to keep a secret 😆

we know it is a second boy and finding a name that we liked and worked in both French and English was really difficult so it is very unlikely that we will change our mind. Still not sure if we are going to tell our son now (we probably will) or wait, but thanks all, it is very useful to have some feedbacks!

our son already knows our few options, and he doesn’t like our final choice lol so it might be good to give him some time to adjust to it!

We didn’t. My eldest would often refer to her siblings as Beetroot, because I’m his wisdom my husband told her a story about how babies came about by refering to how beetroot makes your wee pink?! 😂