Too many nicknames?!

[Bethwoodbank]

Hi all,

I am due my second baby, a boy in a couple of days and we have pretty much decided on Rafael as his name. My reservations which I would appreciate thoughts on, are the nickname(s) which are really important to me. I am expecting to rarely use his full name (although l love it and want him to have the full name for options in later life). I love the nn Raff, my husband prefers Rafa…we will no doubt call him all of the above plus Raffi/Raffi bear/Rafe/Raffles/Riffraff and goodness knows what else!! I’m not worried about what we call him, but more how we introduce him and what we should use for personalised items-and if it is ok for me to use Raff and my husband to use Rafa. Is this confusing? Do we need to have a single standard nn at this early stage? I’m sure the name will evolve and solidify so I’m not worried about confusing the baby (!) more relatives and friends! What do you all think? Thanks lovely mums 😀

Just let the nicknames come naturally.

You are overthinking. Nicknames evolve naturally and he'll probably be nicknamed something completely different

Nonsuch things as too many nicknames in my book!

*no such thing

I’m not worried about the nickname as such, more how to introduce him as I don’t want people to mostly call him Rafael!

But that’s his name? If you don’t want people to use it surely you should pick something else?

Introduce him as what you want people to call him. It doesn’t matter if that’s the same as you/your husband/something different, although in my experience, people will tend to go with what you use - and baby is more likely to respond to it.

Pick something else then.

If you don’t want people to call him by the name you are giving him (Raphael) then don’t call him Raphael… I’m sorry but this is just a bit strange. You don’t pick a name for it’s nicknames, they happen organically. Raphael is great so I’m not sure why you want him to be called that but not called that by people. Sorry if I’m missing something!

Sorry Rafael*

This reminds me of someone who called her son Daniel, but stated immediately that she wanted everyone to call him Danny.. and kicked off whenever it was read out as Daniel on the school register etc even though that's his name.

If she wanted him to be called Danny, why not just put that on the birth certificate?!

I don't think it's a problem at all if you don't both call him by the same short form. Other people will probably use Raff if you don't tell them otherwise, as it's the simplest and most obvious short form. I would just say "his name is Rafael, I usually call him Raff" and not even mention Rafa.

Oh I think our children are in crèche together - what’s your sons name. It’s Rafa. Oh no the child I know if Raff - easy mistake to make. No Raff is my son. But you said he was called Rafa. Yes I call him Rafa but my wife calls him Raff. But what’s his name? It’s Rafael but we don’t want anyone to call him that so we each came up with our own name we tell people is his name.

bonkers!

I would call him Rafael, as that is his name. I don't think I would use a nickname unless invited to.

It’s a nice name.

Let nns come naturally, no problem if he has a few. He’ll decide what he prefers when he’s older.

Use his full name on personalised stuff, Raphael is a lot nicer than Raff or Rafa, and it is his actual name..

I feel like you’re making this a bigger thing than it needs to be.
My sister is Charlotte but me and DM refer to fondly as Lottie but DF and wider family call her Charlie and I’ve heard her friends refer to her as CharChar. They were naturally occurring diminutives though and no one is upset if she’s referred to as Charlotte… because it’s her name