Did you fall in love with your compromise name?

[Foxtrot101]

To all of you who have a child with a name that was a compromise with your OH rather than being a name you loved - it happens often its part of adulting and marriage- personally I don't agree with the "you carried the baby you should get the name you want" standpoint. In reality the child will have a name that is the one we both agree on rather than that either of us absolutely love.
What I'd like to hear from parents with this same experience is, did you come to love the name, do you always feel a little sad /regretful about it, did it impact your bonding with the child, did you find yourself using the name so much but using pet names instead? Introducing the child and adding a comment about the name being a compromise? I know some of these scenarios are quite extreme but I am curious, particularly as my pregnancy hormones seem to be surging! 😭

I must add op that I did like the name anyway so I guess it wasn't too much of a compromise. Don't pick a name you don't like even if it is a compromise 😊

I’ve never really analysed this before, but…

DH hated the name I picked for DS, said over his dead body, but I loved it. So I compromised and his first name is my second choice and one DH really liked.

I actually call my DS by the name I wanted, it started off as a jokey name or pet name but stuck. I always refer to him as his real name though when talking about him.

This for me too.

However I didn't have any of the issues that mention - nothing could have changed the instant love that I felt for her, and I've never avoided using her name.

I named dc 1+3 . Df named dc2 I didn't love the name but I liked it and it grew on me.

I think your preferences change over time too.

We couldn't decide on a name for my first son. My mum told us on day 3 post birth that she wanted to tell her friends (because that's obviously the main factor...) so we plumped for one I was a bit indifferent about but now love.

Come son number two (we'd agreed on our girls name immediately but never got to use it) we picked a name that my husband had vetoed for our first son. He now likes it, I'm still a bit on the fence about it.

But I wouldn't pick a name I disliked. It is really hard picking boys' names, somehow there's nicer girls' names.

If it helps you decide, our compromise name is quite unusual, or at least unusual in this country. Had it been a name like Jacob or Ben or Sam I don't think it would have been as much of an issue...
If you choose an unusual name that you're not 100% convinced on I think it's more likely to lead to regret as the name stands out more if you see what I mean.
I do go through phases of liking it so its not total regret and I'm sure it will get better with time, but I wouldn't wish baby name regret on anyone, (as trivial as it sounds), it can really consume you especially when they are a baby and you're spending too much time thinking!

I agree that both parents should agree on the name. As much as I've felt the urge to push for a name I love but know my partner doesn't like, I know that's just not fair to him or the baby. My son's name wasn't a name I ever would've thought of myself, his dad came up with it, and I did have names I loved more but I liked it enough to agree to it. I had second thoughts later on in the pregnancy and worried I didn't love it enough or it just wouldn't be right when he was born, but from the second I saw him that was his name. I've never doubted it since and can't imagine him being called anything else.

We had the opposite problem, had a name we both loved, but hearing a relative pronouncing it (Rebecca, Liverpudlian, the cc sounded like hacking up phlegm!) gave us both fingernails on blackboard feelings... so even if you love a name it isn't always "right".

We don't have a compromise name, but DS's name is not what we originally intended to call him and isn't even one of the other names on our potential list. When he was born we immediately decided he didn't fit any of those names and came up with a name that we had never even thought about! So your baby's name may still change

My top 3 names were Molly, Beatrice and Grace. DH wanted Alice. DD is called the only name we could agree on, which isn’t any of those 4. It’s a solid 1970s baby name which has completely fallen out of vogue. DD is 10, we have never met another girl under 20 with the same name. It’s very her, although I’m still sad she isn’t called Bea.
DS’s name is a modern/foreign name, but it’s actually his middle name and he just looks like his first name. But he loves his name, so we won’t be changing it.