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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Known as name

34 replies

Bakez66 · 04/09/2022 16:47

We've called our daughter Jessica but she's ended up with her nickname being Bella, she liked another girl called Bella, her brother called her Bella and it's kind of stuck with her , she tells everyone her names Bella we ended up going along with it rightly or wrongly. Question is do I change her name by deed poll or hold off until she's a bit older to make sure she's still happy with it (I'm thinking the second option) or do Jessica Bella so she can use either? I'm a little hesitant with it all as I know you can only change it once.

OP posts:

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JulesCobb · 05/09/2022 05:33

clpsmum · 04/09/2022 19:22

This she's 3!!

God help you when she's 13 if you pander to her this much at 3

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This. Ffs. What is wrong with some parents?! Parent your child

Ducksurprise · 05/09/2022 05:39

One of mine has a different known as name. Her teachers didn't even know her name until she sat her GCSEs as school use known as name on register etc.

I don't see the problem.

NewIdeasToday · 05/09/2022 05:41

“I've heard of people changing their child's name at 2,3 and 4”

I’ve never ever heard of that. How bizarre.

There is no right or wrong name for anyone- just the name their parents chose. But deciding later to use a completely different name (not an abbreviation type nickname) is really strange and would be incredibly confusing later on.

mishmased · 05/09/2022 10:32

My first went through a phase of wanting to be called Ryan thanks to 'Ryan Toy Review' on YouTube. Even told his teacher his name is Ryan but I corrected teacher that his name isn't Ryan.

AngryAndUnapologetic · 05/09/2022 10:47

Two of my children have nicknames unrelated to their actual names. One was unplanned, the other was deliberate (although I think this one is related to her real name, it just isn't obvious!)

My older one is at school and the registers all have her real name and her nickname. This is totally normal where we live (Thailand) as most Thai people have a formal name (often quite long) and a nickname (often short, and often a random word in English that the parents just like the sound of!!)

When she started school I remember thinking I probably wouldn't list her nickname if we were in the UK, but that's because it isn't even a real name by British standards. But it works here, it's what we call her 99% of the time, and it's what she calls herself. She's now 7 and she's known her real name for years. Occasionally she says she prefers it but then she usually writes her nickname when naming things.

Bella is a perfectly lovely name, and so is Jessica. I would tell the school to refer to her by her nickname if that's what you do at home. I wouldn't change it legally. But it's entirely up to you, do whatever you feel comfortable with!

I can't understand people saying you need to 'parent' your child... nicknames come about all sorts of ways and sometimes unexpected names stick. Insisting on using her full/formal name is silly if both you and she are happy with the nickname.

Vegetablesupreme · 05/09/2022 11:09

Does she have a legal middle name at all? ( Have just read your other thread.) If not, I think I would be inclined to add the name Bella (legally) so she is officially Jessica Bella Surname. Then if she prefers Bella, it won't be so confusing for everyone. Lots of people are known by their middle name for various reasons but if this is just a phase she's going through then she can still revert back to Jessica when she's a little older.

Original poster

Bakez66 · 05/09/2022 12:37

Yes, she has her legal name but it doesn’t have Bella in it so was debating on either adding it in or making it her first name but I think Jessica Bella and adding it in is a better option than changing her first name.

OP posts:

dream28 · 05/09/2022 13:37

I think OP acceptance is fine. She feels strongly about name Bella and that will probably stick for long while. I don't see little Jessica Bella changing her mind and picking another name, she feels strongly about name Bella.

I would definitely try to talk to child before changing the name about new name. Just so it doesn't confuse her more.

Also, Bella Jessica is better choice, because most people default to calling child his first name.

Womble75 · 05/09/2022 13:52

DSis goes by a name that is kind of a nickname for her middle name. She was called this at school / uni and also throughout her working life obvs all her legal docs have her given name on but it's never ever caused an issue. No need to legally change tbh - especially at 3 as she may well change her mind

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