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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Preferred name

12 replies

Snow34 · 04/09/2022 00:48

Hi, so my daughters called Jessica, her nicknames Bella (middle name) which she prefers to Jessica to the point where she tells people in play areas her names Bella and on her third birthday she told the entertainer her name was Bella so we all sang happy Birthday to Bella. She’s starting preschool next week so I’m wondering if I should put down her preferred name as Bella but leave it legally as Jessica for the time being then maybe change it legally later on if she’s still happy with Bella. She prefers it more than I do but if it makes her happy 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:

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Luredbyapomegranate · 04/09/2022 01:44

It sounds like Bella is her nn so go with it

No need to legally change anything

AmandaMirandaPanda · 04/09/2022 06:37

I’m wondering if I should put down her preferred name as Bella but leave it legally as Jessica for the time being...

Yes, do this for now. Jessica Bella (or longer version of Bella, if that's the case) Lastname, known as Bella. Fairly usual in my experience in Scotland, where traditional/historical naming conventions can result in a lot of family members having the same first name, and middle names or diminutives commonly used as everyday names.

Changing her name legally at this stage means that there's an extra piece of paperwork for the rest of her life whenever she has to prove her identity. That's not a decision to make in a week!

PippaWater · 04/09/2022 06:46

As she grows older her view may change on Jessica so I wouldn't do anything legally for a good few years until you can have a proper conversation with her about it.

Andromachehadabadday · 04/09/2022 06:48

I wouldn’t change her name legally. She can make that decision when she is older, for herself.

She may be very happy to go by Bella and keep Jessica as her legal name. I work with someone who does just that. I only know her legal name as I booked flights for us.

Andromachehadabadday · 04/09/2022 06:49

Sorry posted too soon. Just tell the school her preferred name is Bella.

My son goes by the shortened version of his first name. We put that down as his preferred name.

LionessesRules · 04/09/2022 06:57

If Bella is actually her middle name, you don't need to legally do anything.
Loads of people go by their middle name - there are at least 3 (including me) at work, in a building of less than 100 people.

Original poster

Snow34 · 04/09/2022 08:40

Bella's not actually her legal middle name, we didn't get round to adding this in officially due to only being able to change her name once during her childhood but I'm guessing we can still just use Bella anyway, apologies it was late when I put the post on i should of mentioned that!

OP posts:

Oysterbabe · 04/09/2022 08:55

You've already changed her name once? What change did you make? Does she have a middle name? It's a little odd to put a preferred name that is nowhere in her actual legal name but I think it's probably OK.

Oysterbabe · 04/09/2022 08:58

My 6 year old sometimes tells people her name is Jazzy, just because she likes it. We wouldn't let her go by that name.
At 3 I don't think my children really even knew their middle names, where did she get Bella from? Why didn't you refer to her as Jessica?

EleanorShellstrop28 · 04/09/2022 10:59

If Bella isn't her middle name then that really changes things. It's one thing to use her middle name - that's normal. But it sounds like Bella ISN'T her middle name at all? In which case it's a bit unusual to just let her choose her own name?

Where did she get Bella from? Did she choose it or did you? I think 3 is too young to really have complex feelings about her name? If everyone just calls her Jessica I'm sure she will lose interest in the Bella thing fairly soon.

I don't really understand what you mean when you say that Bella is her middle name in your first post, but then "Bella's not actually her legal middle name" in your second post. If it's not her legal middle name then it's not her middle name at all? It's just a nickname?

Do you like Bella?

LionessesRules · 04/09/2022 11:13

Are you prepared to share her official names, without the surname?

If she is Jessica Isabella, using Bella is fine.
If she is Jessica Lucy, using Bella is a bit unusual.

Having had occasional issues being called Louise Jane officially, but Jane to my face, it is usually sortable. However if the paperwork appeared to Beth, it would be much harder to persuade officials that Beth was the same person as Louise Jane.

Andromachehadabadday · 04/09/2022 11:17

I am really confused. Have you already changed her name once?

If you didn’t register Bella or similar as a middle name, then. It’s not her middle name.

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