Naming baby after someone

[babynamequestion]

I am expecting my second child and plan to give them two middle names. My son also has two middle names, one from each side of the family.

My husband has already chosen one of the middle names, which is fixed. The choices for the other one are currently a name from my side of the family which has been used as a middle name for five generations, or his cousin's first name. His cousin is someone we are very close to and the person who originally introduced us to each other.

I don't want to use three middle names because I think it would be too much.

Here's the dilemma.

I actually like the cousin's name enough to use it as a first name, but would this be too weird?

How would you feel if your cousin named their baby after you as a first name? Would you be flattered or would you think it was too much?

And how would you feel if you were named after your dad's cousin, in quite a close family that sees a lot of each other, i.e. you would likely see this person a few times a year? Would you like it or would you wish you had your "own" name?

It's fine. Historically families used quite a small pool of names, so it was common to have the same name in 2 or 3 generations at the same time.
If you think the cousin would mind, have you run the idea past them?

Considering running it past the cousin. We would prefer to keep the sex of our baby a surprise until the end, but they wouldn't tell anyone.

My nephew had the same name as his mums cousin. My late DH had the same name as his uncle.

Personally I don't like naming children after anyone. I was adamant that my children would be their own selves (all three of my names are for family members and I've always resented not having my own) and fortunately my DH felt the same. But outside that, it's not odd to have the same name as a living relative.

Personally, I like children to have their own, new first names that represent the fact that they are their own person. First names after deceased family members can be a burden, and naming after someone who is still alive is always a bit risky. I’d find it weird if a close family member named their child after me, but that’s not really the culture in my family.

I’d keep the one name after your family, as DH’s family is already honoured in the name. Not wanting to sound too harsh here, but the cousin didn’t make the cut for any of the three names last time, so it’s not like it’s vitally important to either of you that your child is named after the cousin.

Not wanting to sound too harsh here, but the cousin didn’t make the cut for any of the three names last time, so it’s not like it’s vitally important to either of you that your child is named after the cousin.

Our other child is the opposite sex, so it would be very weird if the cousin's name had made the cut last time!

Fair enough, I read the cousin as a he, but think I got confused with DH’s pronouns in the OP. I’d still swerve the name (unless DH wants to change the middle name he’s chosen), as having a name from both sides of the family and a new first name is easily the best option for me.

One of mine is named the same as a second cousin. Not after them, just the same. It was the name we loved the Most and nothing compared at the time!

I have the same name as my aunt and it’s never caused any issues, so dad’s cousin will definitely be fine.

I think it is fine, and nice.

Surely cousin will be flattered?
A work colleague of my dm's called her twins the same names and me and dd and called it a coincidence! I have only ever met 1 other my name in 50 years except that dc!! Quite chuffed tbh!

I don't like naming children after a living relative, but I know lots of people do it. If it doesn't feel weird to you, then it is grand.

Hi @babynamequestion i haven’t read all the replies so sorry if I’m repeating myself.

just to be clear, will your baby have the same name as his first cousin, or your first cousin?

i will say something controversial here, but I firmly believe a parent can name their child whatever they want. If that name happens to be his/your cousin’s name then go for it. Naming a child is so hard, important and a PRIVILEGE you must get it right. Don’t be put off because someone might be upset. Sure, if you want your kid to have a unique name and don’t like the idea of someone else having it, then don’t use it, but if it’s a case or “oooh I don’t know if it’s the normal thing to do” then sod it!

I think it’d be a lovely thing to do! I’d run it past cousin first just in case but imagine they’d be fine with it.

My great nephew, nephew, brother, father, grandfather and great grandfather (and probably before that, too) all have the same name. And its a common biblical one, with many out there.

It's fine, its traditional

How would it work to promote the middle name already chosen to first name and use the cousins name as a middle name?

I'd agree two middle names is plenty.

The name which is already chosen is the one I am least keen on, so I'd rather keep it as a middle name.

I like both the cousin's name and my family name enough to use as a first name, so considering those as options.

Of course as a PP said, it means there would be no "new" name just for the baby.

Is there a good nickname for your cousin’s name so you can differentiate the two? I used to know a big Liam and a little Liam uncle/nephew who were always referred to as such and I thought it was quite sweet.

No, no nicknames at all!