Differing name tastes

[SemperIdem]

My partner and I are talking about having a child together. I already have one, he has three.

My child doesn’t have a strange name, but it sits outside of the top 100. His all have painfully top 10 names which apparently he had the deciding vote on. That may be colouring my view and making me more stubborn.

We really don’t agree on hypothetical names - but I can’t budge from my mindset of how many Olivia’s does the world actually need?

This is all hypothetical at present.

I’d be worried about why he had the deciding vote on all 3 of his previous childrens names. Baby names could be the least of your problems if you decide to start a family together. Good luck.

Difficult to help without some examples of what you and he like.

Well used but not massively popular, right now at least:

Amy, Alexandra, Amber, April, Bronte, Bryony, Bethan, Bianca, Claire, Carys, Clarissa, Camilla, Daphne, Daniella, Dana, Dorothy, Esther, Elise, Emma, Evangeline, Felicity, Francesca, Fiona, Faith, Georgina, Gabriella, Genevieve, Greta, Hannah, Hermione, Hallie, Hope, India, Ida, Iona, Iris, Juliet, Joanna, Jade, Jocelyn, Kirsten, Kayla, Kendra, Keziah, Lara, Lois, Leonie, Lauren, Miranda, Maeve, Melody, Martha, Niamh, Natasha, Naomi, Natalie, Ophelia, Octavia, Opal, Olive, Philippa, Pearl, Paris, Paloma, Robyn, Romilly, Rebecca, Rhiannon, Sadie, Saffron, Susannah, Saskia, Tamara, Tamsin, Thea, Tegan, Victoria, Verity, Vanessa, Viola, Zoe

Adam, Alban, Anton, Aston, Benedict, Bruno, Christian, Cory, Cosmo, Callum, Declan, Damien, David, Dominic, Elliot, Ellis, Ewan, Edmund, Fergus, Ferdi, Frank, Gareth, Gregory, Hal, Hugo, Hugh, Ivan, Jude, Jesse, Jasper, Jeremy, Kieran, Kit, Liam, Luke, Matthew, Micah, Mark, Morgan, Nicholas, Nathaniel, Owen, Orson, Otis, Patrick, Peter, Percy, Phillip, Rhys, Robin, Robert, Rowan, Solomon, Seth, Simon, Stanley, Timothy, Victor, Vincent

We couldn't agree while I was pregnant but I always had my heart set on one name. I gave birth and after seeing me go through that he was the one who suggested we use the name I wanted!

His all have painfully top 10 names which apparently he had the deciding vote on.

That's worrying imo.

This

Why did he get the deciding vote? Sorry, but that would be a huge red flag to me.

I don't see why him having the final vote on the name is necessarily a red flag. Maybe his ex said "I like Olivia and Isla equally - you pick".

Anyway, I recommend the Kinder app.

Had this with my dh. He liked very traditional names and had named his others. Can only think his ex liked them
as well. His children with his ex are called things like Tilly and Jack. I wanted something a little bit less boring. He vetoed everything and we went to about 36 weeks without having anything close to agreement. I just kept throwing names I liked at him and he eventually liked one of them. There’s no way I would have agreed to anything I didn’t like though.

I might be getting the wrong end of the stick, but I interpreted that as his ex had a list of say 5 names she wanted, and he selected from that - the deciding vote if you will.

OP there is definitely middle ground, uncommon doesn't have to mean unusual. Bridget, Claudia, Dolores, and Marina all were used less than 65 times across England and Wales in 2020, but are still very familiar to most people.

I do think he and his ex agreed with the older two, though I know there was actual disagreement over the youngest child’s name to do with using an Anglicised version of a name when she preferred the original version. The latter sounds ridiculous with the surname so I can understand that. He’s not at all controlling, he’s eminently reasonable and patient, to be fair.

I definitely don’t need a wildly unusual name, my child isn’t called MoonBright Starshine or Mildred, I just think the most popular names are nice enough but a bit…dull?

@blameitonthecaffeine

I like your lists! My child’s name is in there 🙂