Marital Name Decision

[ToBarrelOrNotToBarrel]

Recently engaged, planning to marry late 2023 then start a family. Unsure about what to do regarding my name though.

The choices:

Keep mine
Take theirs
Double Barrel
Create new name

Keep mine, what do we then name children?
Take his, easier, expected.
Double barrelled, we’re veering towards this but whose name goes first?
Create new, like the idea but not having to explain to some family members. Not sure what to have either.

As double-barrelled is looking most likely, any pros and cons regarding this choice would be appreciated. What opinions do you have regarding the other options too please?

Why is it "expected" to take his name, we haven't traveled back to the 1950s, have we.

Me personally I'd never change my last name and there's no way any child of mine would have a different surname to me or at least with out my name being incorporated in there. Therefore I'd probably double barrel or maybe mesh both names together.
Say if my name was Harrington and his was LockWood I'd probably go with Harrington-Lockwood or maybe Harwood.

I’m married and didn’t change my surname. The DC have his surname. I didn’t want to double-barrel. The DC could have had my surname. I think we just thought his surname was more adaptable for lots of first names, no particular reason.

Why is it "expected" to take his name, we haven't traveled back to the 1950s, have we.

Traditionally it’s been the norm. Year on year it’s reducing but statistically a higher % still take their husband’s surname than don’t.

My DW didn’t take my name. Our children are double-barrelled. Her name went first because we thought it sounded better that way round.

Which of the names do you actually prefer? Traditionally in this country, surnames are passed down via the father aren't they, so you've probably been saddled with your dad's surname from birth. It's choosing between one man's name or another man's name. I don't think it makes a difference in that sense.

What do you like the sound of?
Fwiw, I use both names, so we have a family name and I have a professional name. I have bank accounts in both names. Our names double barreled sounded awful.

If I’m completely honest I prefer my surname as it is but if we’re fortunate to have children I don’t see DP being happy if his name isn’t included which is why DB is what I’m edging towards. I don’t want everyone having different names. That has added another option, he takes my name….I think that’s my new favourite option. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before.

We double-barrelled, with his name first as it sounded slightly better that way round - though I think the traditional way may be the woman's surname first in a male-female marriage?

We did consider meshing the names together (and actually that's what's engraved on the inside of our wedding rings as it was the plan at the time!), but after we got married I just really didn't like how it sounded so we swapped back.

I'd never have considered just taking his name - and actually don't have much patience with the argument that it's one man's name or another's as you got yours from your father - when on earth does a name become mine? And why is a man's name his, when/if he also got it from his father?

We did wonder about each keeping our own but decided for kids we'd all like to be the same. Though in practice, we both use a combination of original and married, as at work neither of us changed and we've not done so for bank accounts either. I have for my passport as it expired, and he will when his does in a few years. I think it might have been easier to keep our own and just double barrel the kids!!