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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Middle names!

12 replies

DeeDeeDaisy · 06/07/2022 11:59

I've always known that I would give my daughter the same middle name as my mum, which is Jayne, as a way to honour her (my mum hates her first name so would die if I gave her granddaughter her first name!)

My husband's grandma has just died, they weren't terribly close. He wants to give our daughter the middle name Jean.
We agreed months ago, when we found out the baby was a girl, that her middle name would be Jayne.
I've explained that Jean and Jayne are basically the same name with the same meaning, and I've always had my heart set on honouring my mum but he seems to think because his grandma has died, he gets to choose the middle name!
I'm sorry but I hate the name Jean!

If Jean and Jayne weren't so similar, I would agree to gave two middle names. But 'Jayne Jean' just sounds silly.

Can anyone think of another way we could honour Jean?

We haven't decided in a first name yet.

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Bunnygirl0 · 06/07/2022 12:27

I actually much prefer Jean to Jayne! But that doesn’t help you much sorry!!

Irishfarmer · 06/07/2022 12:40

""I've explained that Jean and Jayne are basically the same name with the same meaning,"" I'd drop that argument as he could easily say well if they are basically the same name lets go with Jean!

Just tell him you don't like it. If his granny isn't long dead I can understand the initial gut instinct to use her name but you both have to love it. And if they weren't close he will get over it.

What was Jeans middle name? Hopefully something like Anne. So DD could be 'Sylvia Anne Jayne Bennett'

Cameronnorrieisabitofalright · 06/07/2022 12:45

My exh's dgm was Jayne. Always went by Jean. Never got it tbh!!
So ime it is the same name! But Jayne a bit more modern!

Original poster

DeeDeeDaisy · 06/07/2022 13:26

Irishfarmer · 06/07/2022 12:40

""I've explained that Jean and Jayne are basically the same name with the same meaning,"" I'd drop that argument as he could easily say well if they are basically the same name lets go with Jean!

Just tell him you don't like it. If his granny isn't long dead I can understand the initial gut instinct to use her name but you both have to love it. And if they weren't close he will get over it.

What was Jeans middle name? Hopefully something like Anne. So DD could be 'Sylvia Anne Jayne Bennett'

I get your point but we decided on Jayne months ago and he didn't gave a problem with it! Going to find out about the middle name - good idea. Thanks!

OP posts:

makinganavalon · 06/07/2022 13:33

Isn't Jean the Scottish form of Jane, they both mean the same?
So using Jane or Jayne could honour both?

swingsandround · 06/07/2022 13:44

Jane is a good middle ground to honour both. Or use grandmas middle name, or maiden name or something.

Penfelyn · 07/07/2022 01:59

Mix both sounds and you end up with Janine ?

Anyway, if you'd agreed I understand the frustration. But until the paperwork's done it's still kind of up in the air so if he's no longer sure he was right to say something (rather than silently resent you). Doesn't mean he gets to unilaterally change it though !

A few suggestions :

draw one of the two names out of a hat ?

Agree on another variant of the name Jean/Jayne that you both like ?

Can his grandma (or your mother's) last name be used as a second middle name ?

Tell him you're willing to compromise more on the first name if he compromises on the middle name ? (assuming you actually are okay with that)

This kind of threads make me happy to be a single parent, I got to pick whatever I liked !

Lingoflaming · 07/07/2022 02:02

How about the French version of Jean, Jeanne which odls pronounced as Jaahn.

perimenofertility · 07/07/2022 02:10

I think choosing any other version of either name is pointless, because if it's not either Jean or Jayne then you aren't actually honouring either of them. Personally I dislike the idea of naming after anyone, I think new people should have their own new names.
If you're set on naming after someone, I'd say the deceased grandma gets more power than the living mother, who will actually get to enjoy spending time with the baby, surely that's honour in itself?
Also a bit biased as I actually love the name Jean!

perimenofertility · 07/07/2022 02:13

Another thought, you could use Jayne as the first name, choose an additional middle name and use that with Jean, e.g.
Jayne Elizabeth Jean Surname

blameitonthecaffeine · 07/07/2022 09:13

I like the idea of the grandma's middle name.

Otherwise, it's a bit OTT, but I guess you could go with 3 middle names, eg:
Abigail Jayne Louisa Jean?!
It sounds a bit like you're naming a member of the royal family but nobody would ever actually use them all.

mistygem · 07/07/2022 10:41

Are you or him open to having more kids which you could name as either of you want? If you pick something like Lydia Jayne and Sophie Jean they are not actually similar.

It's also not terribly clear is your hubby open to having two middles. I think something like Amelia Jayne Jean would not be end of the world, but Jayne Jean as first middle is dreadful. I also like idea of using three middles.

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