Has anyone changed their baby’s name?

[Birdsong1990]

Hi all,

I’ve read lots online and on here about ‘baby name regret’ as I’m having a bit of a crisis about my 8 week old’s name. I think it’s a combination of having received a couple of negative reactions to his name and stupidly looking up opinions on the name on Mumsnet since he was born (massive mindf*ck!)

I don’t have one particular name that I wished we’d called him, although we did have a shortlist, and my regret comes from not trying out all the names for a few days after he was born (which we did with my first child and I love her name). I have pangs of regret for the names we didn’t use which sounds ridiculous!

I’ve always struggled with making decisions and have often felt ‘buyer’s remorse’ after making particularly big decisions so I suspect this is just an extension of that exacerbated by the negative reactions etc. His name is probably a red herring for this anxiety and I doubt changing it is going to be the quick fix that I’m looking for.

But I just wondered if there anyone out there who had the same experience and actually went ahead and changed their baby’s name? And if so, how old was your baby and what kind of reaction did you get from family and friends?

My husband is being reasonably understanding about how I’m feeling but has shut down the idea of changing his name as ‘we can’t be the parents who changed their baby’s name’…)

TIA x

I haven't but I am in the same situation as you (baby is 5 months though). We chose the name early on, not sure if I was even pregnant yet. It was the only name we both liked. There was another one I liked, but DH didn't. After we named him, I stupidly looked at the opinions on here of the name we chose. Although lots were positive there were some that were saying it's a 'meh' name, boring, dull, wet. I don't really get how it's boring when it's not a name you hear all the time (it isn't even in the top 100). I'm trying to remember that WE love it and that's what matters, but a part of me wishes we'd gone with what I loved (but I couldn't because DH didn't). It is a popular name on here. Not that common yet but it pops up on MN all the time. It's obvious that people prefer that name to the one we chose and it just hurts. I know not everyone is going to love our choice, and I guess that's what I need to get over. I think I just feel massive mum guilt, wondering I'd he'd prefer to have the other name. Then again, he might rather he was the only one in his school (I was and I liked that!)

I understand how your husband feels but if it is something that is eating away at you, the awkwardness of explaining to people that you changed it is small.. baby will have this name forever. There is a reason they make it easy for parents to change the name in the first year.. because people DO change their minds and it's a big decision to name someone!

I've not but a DF did at a similar age. The name she has now really suits her DD and I can't imagine her with the previous name.

Don't worry about what others think, if you truly hate the name ditch it

@LT2 sorry you are feeling the same, it’s a horrible feeling isn’t it.

I still love his name but I can’t shake some of the comments and negative connotations that I’ve read out my head which is awful as it shouldn’t matter what perfect strangers think (or my elderly neighbour who thought it was ok to say to me ‘oh I’m not sure on his name’ 🙄) I’m having massive mum guilt too that I’ve given him a name that he’s going to hate!

Just like you I’m trying to remember that we love his name and chose it for a reason!

You'll never find a name that is universally loved. One person's beautiful classic is another person's boring.

I have also looked up my DC's name here. If you read comments on it from 5 years ago, it was derided, but now apparently it's beloved. 🙄 Maybe you're just ahead of the curve!

Strangers commenting negatively on the name are super rude.

@Primatrying yep I was in shock when my neighbour said that. To me the only acceptable response when someone tells me their baby name is ‘oh what a lovely name’, even if I didn’t think so! I guess it’s a bit different on an anonymous forum like MN!

I don’t normally care what other people think so I do think it’s a bit of post-natal anxiety creeping in.

I know someone who changed their babies name when they were about 6m old. I don't think anyone thought much of it other than, oh I guess they realised it wasn't the right name.

If you don't have a clear alternative though you're in a pickle. If you like his name and weren't unsure enough to look up other peoples views on it before actually calling him it, then it sounds like you just need to stand by your own perspective

It may well be! People have said they think it could be PND in my case, but i don't think so. I don't feel negative about any other aspect since having my baby. But I have always suffered with anxiety, so could be this. I don't feel like I'd be feeling the way I do if I had never looked at opinions on here about the name. Why on earth do we do it to ourselves.. even the most popular names have negative comments, i guess that's what we need to remember! I don't think I've ever met anyone else with my name, so it wasn't and isn't popular, and I love it.. it's my name. The same will be the case with our babies I'm sure (I really believe this but the unwelcome thoughts creep back!)

If you still love the name, then I think this is more about you needing to get in a mentality of ‘it’s our child, our choice, we love it, stuff everyone else with their unwanted opinions’. Repeat.

You are the ones who will be saying the name 10,000 times a day for the rest of your lives... Fup everyone else.

I love my son's name, but for some reason my dad often mispronounces it/gets it wrong and
shouts 'Alan!' and I get visions of my son as an adult hosting Norfolk's second best radio station.

I also get a lot of positive comments about his name - seems to be a real marmite name but typically I only focus on the negative reactions!

I guess my anxiety has just started to creep in when people ask me his name - I never know if I’m going to get a ‘wow I love it’ or raised eyebrows reaction. Think I just need to get over myself and what Susan over the road thinks 😂

Thanks all for your reassurance!

The fact is every single person you meet will not love your baby's name. Just as there will be people who don't like you or your husband, don't like the sofa you have, think the car you drive is naff, think you and your husband look frumpy/chavvy/stuck up/boring/slutty. Insert whatever comment you like.
Maybe you have chosen a name which for a lot of people holds bad connotations or maybe you should ignore what everyone else thinks and accept it.
I do think PND can play a part though so think carefully before you decide.

Myself and DHs friends wife changed their babies name when she was 4 months old.

It was actually the name she originally wanted but FIL kept making jokes about it so she picked a different name.

@Penguinsaregreat I completely agree, I just didn’t feel this way with my first child’s name but then I didn’t look up opinions on it either 😂

I think it’s something that has crept into my behaviour in the last few years - when I chose my wedding dress I immediately questioned my decision and would obsessively search online to see if I had missed out on ‘something better’. Must be something to do with making big life choices that brings out my anxiety!

My baby's name has been described as a marmite name on here! I know exactly what you mean about feeling anxious about telling his name. I've never had a bad reaction, other than 'that's unusual' but when people don't go 'that's really nice' I think they mustn't be keen.. as I always say it's lovely, even when it's not my cup of tea! A stranger was giving him attention just the other day and I was anxiously waiting for her to ask, only to be relieved when she didn't😒

@LT2 you've just described exactly how I feel! Anxiously waiting for someone to ask his name then feeling relieved when they don’t 😔I know what I’m like though and if I did change his name I would have pangs of regret every time I heard his old name! I think I just need to allow myself to ‘mourn’ the names he could have been called if that makes sense!

Hopefully our babies will grow into their names and become part of their character and then we won’t be able to imagine them to be called something else 💙

I changed my son's name. Tbf I switched first and middle name. Only negative reaction came from my grandmother, but I didn't care. He was around five weeks or so when it was decided. Over a year now. The truth is I never regretted the change of the baby's name. Not a single second. I love my son's name. I was also happier getting asked about his first name after the change and I guess that's also influenced how people reacted towards it.
Also a lot of parents I know made a compromise and didn't get their first choice. Sometimes it just takes time to adjust. Whatever you decide good luck ☺️

@Olga03 thank you! I think I just had some poorly timed negative reactions at a time when I was feeling vulnerable and it’s rocked me a bit. The elderly neighbour even said she had told her son about my DS’s name and he wasn’t sure on it either! What do you even say to that?! It’s not even an unusual name 🙄

Just try to ignore the comments OP. Our DD has a classic English/French name. First time I took her out we met a woman I knew from a baby group. She asked the name and then pulled a face and said "we have you made that up?"

Me and DH laughed all the way home. Some people just game no manners or taste.

A marmite name at least means half the people absolutely love it! And it will probably be more memorable even to those that don't . Mumsnet is probably not the best gauge of names to be honest. I think it's easy to feel very unsure of any decision when you look at the internet too much. Perhaps just remember you weren't looking up things when your daughter was named and feel fine about her name. So if you do the same with your son you may feel better. We need to all boost our own confidence in our own likes sometimes and too much searching or sitting on social media can be very undermining. If you liked the name before no reason to question that now unless there is some big reason that you had no idea about. You know dictators and whatnot!

My name had mostly positive comments on MN but in real life most don’t say anything positive or negative but when they don’t say anything I do wonder if they’re thinking something negative. Or maybe they don’t care. Either way if you like it don’t let people make you feel bad. I mean i do think public opinion matters to a degree which is why I’d never name my child some out there wacky name that would cause him problems.

My dc has an unusual name. Nobody forgets it. He is nearly 8 and a memorable dc ime!!
Never met another of his name.

Keep the name op.

@Hadtocomment thank you so much for your kind reply - you are completely right. I forgot how lonely these early few weeks of a newborn are and I’ve obviously spent far too many hours in the middle of my sleepless nights reading too much on social media and MN. I have a very good network of family and friends but haven’t said any of this to them (other than my DH) because I fear I’m being ridiculous!

@AllyCatTown @Littlebirdyouaresosweet thank you for being so reassuring and not making me feel like I’m losing my mind! I had another good chat with my DH today and we reminded ourselves how much we love the name. I feel much better now 😁

I went through this with my youngest child's name.
Older 3 have very traditional old English names.
When pregnant with my 4th I fell in love with a very different name.

When I announced his name at birth I wasn't prepared for the negative response.
People mind all sorts of unkind comments, and it did get to the point where I considered changing his name.

I'm so glad I didn't as it suits him perfectly. He recognised his name from an early age. He's 11 now, but non verbal (developmental age of 2 years) and he is proud to be called this. He will point to himself with a big smile whenever anyone mentions his name.

It's that 3 letter name that the chavvy brigade come down on like a tonne of bricks, but to me I just picture my son and his big beaming smile!

We changed DC2's name at 4 months. We're both glad we did. It wasn't anything very out there, but it just wasn't right.

Easy process and we just refused to justify ourselves why when communicating. It was all very difficult at the time.

Only your and your dh opinion matters. You'll never find a name everyone likes. I hate some of the most popular names at the moment 😂

I recommend having some quiet time with your bub and saying their name lots and writing it down. Do you still love it? Does it feel right. If still on the fence try a couple of other names out privately. Do a pretend facebook post (but dont actually post it) announcing a different name with your bubs picture. Then see if that feels right or very wrong.

We loved our name but it's not popular and not in fashion. We have a few raised eyebrows occasionally but he owns it now and if you're confident when you say it people feed off that.

Good luck and enjoy your new baby.