OH and name I hate

[Boredandsingle]

OH wants to name (our currently hypothetical child) Alexander..and I hate it.

Quite worried it's something we'll never agree on- any suggestions for similar names that I might not hate?

Rather than trying to guess what he might like, maybe just make a list of names you do like and see what he thinks.

it’s totally fine to not like the name Alexander and not want to call your child that.

You will find something you both like.

I'd just veto and let him fall out of love with it.
I just don't think a similar name often works tbh, I mean you could find a ton of traditional names but if you don't like Alexander then you probably won't be excited by them and if he loves Alexander then he won't warm to them as much as that.
If he knew a name you love and he didn't, would he spend energy going "what is similar?" or would he just say "Nah, I don't like it".

It is hard to agree OP, DP and I have had a nightmare trying to find a name - for girls in particular - that both of us like enough to use. We just have completely different taste, and it's really hard when there is something you really love and the other one just doesn't like it at all.

Unfortunately, the only way is compromise. You may have to give up on your very favourite name and he may have to give up on his - as is what has happened to us - but we found 2 we could agree on in the end.

The girl's name in particular is not my first choice, but I like it enough to use it, which wasn't the case for most other names we spoke about.

It would help with suggestions if you said what you don't like about it? It's length? The fact it's a classic name (boring)? Something about the sound. Alasdair is a similar sounding name for example, but hard to know if that means you'll hate it equally. A similar name in terms of "feel" but that sounds different might be Benjamin or Christopher. Personally I don't much like Alexander but do like Alex. I know an Alexis and an Alessandro but they have Greek/Italian connections specifically. W

It's not that I don't like the classic names! This once gives me the particular ick! His girls name I'm 100% on bored with. I think everyone is right. I just veto it and eventually he'll acccept it. I think it's more I don't like the particular diminutives that come with the name than the name itself!

Similar names

Frederick
Samuel
Nicholas
William
Benjamin
Daniel
Robert
Edward
Benedict

what sort of names do you like?

Are there any shortenings that might win you over, eg Sacha, Xander, Sandy? I’m not saying you have to go along with it, just a thought.

Lysander
Oleander

What is your girl name or your personal favourite for a boy?

I'd not worry about it until the child isn't hypothetical anymore

What about Alastair, OP?

Edward
theodore
sebaatian
alastair
frederick
francis
franklin
henry
samuel
benjamin
thomas
george
louis
harrison
vincent

What do you like?

If you hate it, it's off the table as a potential name for your child. As something else would be off the table if your OH hated it. All you can do is keep going through lists of names and finding ones one of you likes and seeing if the other one likes it. Are there any others your partner loves as much? That you love? Any that both of you like?

Off the top of my head, JUST based on Alexander - maybe Christopher or Evander or Oliver?

Doesn’t help you but I love it. Totally timeless and I love Alex. Really underused

Oleander is a flowering shrub.

Alistair

But neither of you can call a child a name the other hates, you have to find something you can both live with. So just tell him that ain’t happening

I had ideas for names for DC before they were born (I didn't find out the sex prior to birth). When DC was born then we tried out names. The name I really liked didn't work. The name we went for 'felt' right.

*'felt' right in the context of actually seeing DC

Nathaniel
Julian
Reuben
Adam
David
Edwin
Marius
Oscar
Harrison
Zachary
Anthony

Count yourself lucky. DH was set on Winston for DS until I had a full on pregnant strop.

He tried it again when I had my second pregnancy - Genghis this time. Fortunately DD was a girl.

I'd ignore it for now. Save the stress for when you know what sex you're having and the decision is real.

If you're not even pregnant I would just veto the name if and when you're ever pregnant with a boy! He can't force you to name your hypothetical child something you don't like.

He can't expect you to use it if you don't like it you just have to scrap it and find something you both like