Naming after parents

[Cupofyorkshireteaandrichtea]

I would like to honour my parents in some way but I don’t actually like their names much. Has anyone had this dilemma ?

I got round it with DS by giving my maiden name as his middle name, or a variation (so like John for Johnson) but not sure for another baby.

<outs self> names are Anita and elwyn

All three of my children have my maiden name as a second middle name to honour my side of the family, is this something you could do?

That’s what middle names are for! Claudia Elwyn Anita (or whatever name you like) sound fine to me and gives the advantage of the child having their own first name. We plan to give our daughter our grandmother’s names as middle names and while neither are names we would have chosen in a vacuum, the meaning of them is more important.

People will say you can use Eliana (has the El from Elwyn and An from Anita) or similar, but if I were one of the parents, I really wouldn’t feel like that was named after me in any way (with the side effect of telling me you think my name is hideous). Could you ask them each to choose a name for her?

Well no - they’re dead, that’s why I want to remember them in a way!

Anwyn.

Ana.
Wynn.

Just to add their first middle names are named after their grandparents (one daughter has paternal grandmother name, the other daughter has maternal grandmothers name and son has paternal grandfather). I felt bit bad that my dad's name wasn't used (definitely not planning on a fourth child!) But they all have his surname as their second middle name.

Neither of their middle names are to my taste but I wanted to honour grandparents and seeing as all three children have rather uncommon first names it's nice for them to have a traditional middle name.

There is a tradition in DH's family with a name going back several generations, boys and girls both have it as a middle name. It might seem strange at first, but when the origin is explained, people think it's really nice.

I think it is lovely to do this. My sister used our late Dad's first name as a middle name for her first son. She used his middle name as a middle name for her second son.

My mum hates her own first name and doesn't have a middle name. It isn't a name that would be liked much now anyway. She didn't inflict it on her daughter.

Did your parents have middle names or did your grandparents have nice names?

My DS has my late dads name as his middle name.

I know somebody who used Tiana as an anagram of Anita - could be an option?

How about Elan? (El from Elwyn and An from Anita)
Fairly unusual but has a bit of flair if you say it the french way. Unisex and I've heard it pronounced as ILL-an (boy, Israeli) and Ey-LAN (girl) and Elle-an (girl)

There's nothing wrong with the names Anita and Elwyn. I quite like Elwyn tbh.

They'd make perfect middle names. The fond memories the names evoke surely outweigh the fact you don't objectively love the names.

Both names are fine, just not currently trendy

I actually think Elwyn is really.cool 😀. What about their parents names your grandparents?

We wanted to honour my parents but didn't massively love their names so we used their favourite flowers (Jasmine and Iris) as middle names.

They are nice names and also this is what middle names are for.

I don’t think you are going to forget your parents, and I think you will honour them more by living a life they would be proud of than by giving your children names you don’t like. You’ve already given your first child your maiden name. I would just let the idea go, tbh.

But in any case, giving your children names which weren’t your parents’ names for this reason is bonkers. A child being called Tiana doesn’t honour a grandmother called Anita at all.

Anwyn is a Welsh name and it's lovely.

Anwyn isn't a welsh name and would not be lovely. It would be a boy's name meaning 'blessed Ann'. The -wyn ending indicates a boy's name in Welsh.

Anwen is a name, for girls, and is very similar to Anita in meaning

Elwyn isn't a welsh name in origin, but is used as a name in Wales. Elwen is very occasionally used as a girl's name.

We’ve gone for middle names.

DS has my dads name and MILs maiden name as his middle names.

DD has MIL and my mum’s name as middle names.

DH wanted MIL’s name for DD as a first name as she died really suddenly 18 months before DD was born but I said no.

I don't think you are honouring someone by choosing a name for your baby that isn't actually their name. Sorry to be blunt but it's how I feel. If someone said to me "Summa, I named my baby Emma/Susie after you!" I wouldn't feel honoured. You could just about get away with variations of a name such as Mary/Maria/Marie... but more than that is a no in my opinion.

I actually think Anita is quite beautiful.

I don't particularly like my MIL's name but gave it to DD1 as a middle anyway. If we'd had a boy it would have been my father's name as the middle, and I'm not a huge fan of that either. It doesn't matter because a person's middle name is very rarely used in everyday life.

I quite like Elwyn.. but alternatively you could use your mother’s maiden name for a second boy?

Anita is alright. It’s often taken as a variation of Anne, so you could use Ana, Anna, Annas, Annabel etc

I love Anita, but obviously you don't feel drawn to using it. What about Anna as Anita is a diminutive, at least in Spanish... little Anna?