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Original poster

Double Barrel or Not?

49 replies

Grumpylabrador · 27/05/2022 15:43

I’m posting this on behalf of my friends who need advice. They are planning to name their baby either Otis or Cora (Who’s arrival is expected in the next few weeks) but they are unsure of surname. They don’t know whether to give the child one of their surnames or double barrel and they’ve even tossed with the idea of merging (Neither of them are fussed about keeping their name in the family).

the options they’ve come up with

Nolan
Hunter
Hunter-Nolan
Nolan-Hunter
Noler
Huntlan
Terlan

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Johnnysgirl · 28/05/2022 21:51

God, just pick one.

Noler! Huntlan! They're Godawful 😂

Johnnysgirl · 28/05/2022 21:56

NameChange30 · 28/05/2022 21:47

Very very weird logic and I completely disagree.
There are two major advantages to the Spanish way:


  1. no one changes their name after they get married; there is no ridiculous expectation and pressure on women to take men's surname, and no dilemma about whether to change back after divorce

  2. children share one surname with each parent, this is fair and equal, and (since no one changes surname) this will always be the case even if parents separate, divorce, (re)marry.

Show quote history

What happens when the kids marry, if both their parents use two names?

NameChange30 · 28/05/2022 21:59

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
literally nothing happens.
that's the beauty of it.

tortiecat · 28/05/2022 22:01

I quite like Terlan 🤷‍♀️

Johnnysgirl · 28/05/2022 22:02

NameChange30 · 28/05/2022 21:59

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
literally nothing happens.
that's the beauty of it.

Humour me if I'm being thick...
If a girl called Nolan Hunter marries a bloke called McCarthy O'Neill, what are their children called?

SabrePrattler · 28/05/2022 22:04

Johnnysgirl · 28/05/2022 22:02

Humour me if I'm being thick...
If a girl called Nolan Hunter marries a bloke called McCarthy O'Neill, what are their children called?

Show quote history

Nolan O'Neill
Nolan McCarthy
McCarthy Nolan
Hunter O'Neill
...

etc.

etc.

It's not that hard.

SabrePrattler · 28/05/2022 22:06

I'm not one of those people who thinks a surname should be a static thing through a family's history. I couldn't care less if names change with each generation.

Johnnysgirl · 28/05/2022 22:06

So they drop one of each. That's all I asked.

NameChange30 · 28/05/2022 22:10

Johnnysgirl · 28/05/2022 22:06

So they drop one of each. That's all I asked.

See my post on pg 1 (21.34)
One surname from each parent. Fair and equal.
As to which you choose and which order, you have options, you can go for whatever sounds best, or choose the paternal grandfather's surname and maternal grandmother's surname (or vice versa), or whatever.

PronounMadness · 28/05/2022 22:10

Just everybody keep their own names on marriage. Far easier.

DD has my surname and DH’s as a middle name. Never caused any issues.

Johnnysgirl · 28/05/2022 22:15

NameChange30 · 28/05/2022 22:10

See my post on pg 1 (21.34)
One surname from each parent. Fair and equal.
As to which you choose and which order, you have options, you can go for whatever sounds best, or choose the paternal grandfather's surname and maternal grandmother's surname (or vice versa), or whatever.

Show quote history

Thanks, that's really clear 😀
And all without any wanky 🤦‍♀️faces!

pamshortsbrokenbothherlegs · 29/05/2022 08:43

I've always thought that it would be nice and fair if it worked like this:

Everybody has two surnames, nobody changes name on marriage. Men pass down the patrilineal one, women the matrilineal. So if we all did this for a few hundred years, everybody would end up with their father's father's father's (etc) name, double barrelled with their mother's mother's mother's (etc). I'll certainly be encouraging my DD to choose my part of her name to pass onto her kids, should she have any. 😉

It's just a small twist on the Spanish system, which tends to (but not always) use the paternal names on each side.

Obviously it's a very heteronormative solution and would have to be flexible for same sex and non-binary couples etc. But I think it's a good start.

User6761 · 29/05/2022 14:02

Not our actual names but in our family:

I have one surname: Jones
Partner has double-barelled name: Smith-Brown (Smith is the first name of his mum's double-barrelled surname, Brown is his dad's name).
Our child has surname Jones-Brown.

If my partner had had one surname I would have given our child that and my surname as middle name as I don't personally like double-barrelled names. But my partner's side of the family (non British) are full on them!

Onekidnoclue · 29/05/2022 14:09

SummaLuvin · 27/05/2022 16:24

My DH has a double barrel name and it is a key reason as to why I haven't gotten round to changing my name yet, it will be a pain in the butt. There have been so many times I have seen DH irritated having to spell it out, repeat it numerous times... If there is a situation where a name needs to be given I always give mine to to save the hassle. My BIL has said to us that when he marries his partner they will merge their names into a single name rather than keep the double barrel - obviously different names but same vein as Huntlan.

I know a lot of women view it as a solution to losing their maiden name to take their husbands but this is a one generation solution. What happens when Jack Nolan-Hunter marries Olivia James-Smith, what surname do they choose then!?!? Do they become the Nolan-Smiths, meaning Hunter and James fall out of use potentially offending a parent each? Do they go back to just using the mans name? Do they quadruple barrel? Do they create a single unique name based on all four? Do they just each keep their own?

I don't know if there is a right answer, it will differ for everyone. However, if no-one really cares I would choose the path of least resistance - have a family with a common, easily spelling name, no double barrels, and all members with the same name. Either Hunter or Nolan fits the bill here. There can be a slight advantage to being higher up the alphabet so in the absence of everything else I would choose Hunter out of the two.

I 100% agree. Double barrelled names are simply passing the problem on. Make a decision one what’s easier for the child and crack on. I also think Hunter is easier to spell and therefore ‘better’ from a usability pov.

Luredbyapomegranate · 29/05/2022 18:46

Onekidnoclue · 29/05/2022 14:09

I 100% agree. Double barrelled names are simply passing the problem on. Make a decision one what’s easier for the child and crack on. I also think Hunter is easier to spell and therefore ‘better’ from a usability pov.

Show quote history

Oh honestly

Double barrelled names are increasingly common

if the PPs DP doesn’t like having one, just drop half of it, and just use the name you want for your kids. That’s naturally what has always happened with DB names through the generations.

I don’t know why people make such a thing about it.

Twizbe · 29/05/2022 18:48

My husband is 5th generation double barrel. They all seemed to manage so far.

I took his name when we married because ... well tbh I didn't really give it much thought. Our children are the 6th generation with this name ... I'm sure they'll cope.

Original poster
Grumpylabrador · 29/05/2022 19:27

Tryagain2020 · 28/05/2022 20:54

I think Nolan sounds awkward with Otis. And Nolan-Hunter awkward with Otis and Cora. I don't like Noler or Huntlan.

So I'd choose Hunter, Hunter-Nolan or Terlan. Probably in that order.

I quite like Lanter, that's an amalgamation too!

I quite like Lanter as well I will suggest it to them

OP posts:
Original poster
Grumpylabrador · 29/05/2022 19:28

clarrylove · 28/05/2022 21:36

How about Nolter?

I’ll also give them this suggestion

OP posts:
Original poster
Grumpylabrador · 29/05/2022 19:37

Penguinsaregreat · 28/05/2022 21:50

If unmarried give the child the mother's name. That is tradition.
Most unmarried couples split up.
The child will end up with its mother in the vast majority of cases and so should have the same name.
Also problems can arise when travelling abroad if the child does not have it's mothers name.
Otherwise Hunter- Nolan sounds best.
Just be aware there are a lot of boys called Hunter so if double barelling using Hunter as one of the names it may cause confusion.

They are unmarried but that’s just because they don’t want to be they’ve been together noe for nearly 10 years so in your opinion would you still go with mothers or double barreeled

OP posts:
Twizbe · 29/05/2022 20:07

Defo - 10 years is the curse lol.

In all seriousness I've known a lot of couples break up at 10 years or get married / have a baby and break up shortly after.

Original poster
Grumpylabrador · 01/06/2022 09:10

I thought I’d let the people involved on this thread that yesterday baby Cora Penelope Hunter-Nolan was born

OP posts:
SabrePrattler · 01/06/2022 09:37

Cora Hunter-Nolan is a fine name. Welcome, Cora!

babyjellyfish · 01/06/2022 09:50

I would double barrel those names. Hunter Nolan sounds best.

Merging surnames only works if one of the options sounds good, and unfortunately none of those work.

NameChange30 · 01/06/2022 12:32

Aahhh congratulations to them! Wonderful name. Good choice on the surname Smile

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