I don't like the name we gave our child but my partner won't change it

[RainCheckMate]

What to do if you don't like the name you agreed to give your child but your partner is so attached to it they won't change it? Based on people's reactions to the name so far our child is going to go through their life correcting people and repeating/spelling their name. There is a nickname which is a bit loosely based on the full name but how easy would it be to make that nickname stick? Otherwise what should I do?

Luckily me and dh chose a name we both loved..
Oddly ds has been known by a totally unrelated nn for nearly 8 years now!! Choose the nn you like. Use it. Dh can use the bc name. Pointless getting stressed if he won't change it officially..
All family members use the nn here op!!

Is this a hypothetical baby, are you pregnant or is the baby here and already named it?

How old is the child in question?

How old is the child?

1. If the name’s already registered, I’d live with it and maybe try to introduce a nickname.
2. If the baby hasn’t been registered yet, I’d say I’m vetoing the name and partner just has to accept that.

You agreed but you no longer agree so you choose another name.

I think it's quite easy to make a nickname stick.

Is the name an "invented" one or does it have a unique/non-traditional spelling, or is a traditional name (maybe to your culture) that people aren't hugely familiar with?

I ask becase I'd be more inclined to make the effort to press the point of the original name if it was a name like Siobhain/Jamilah, and you're Irish/Arab, for instance, than if it was Ahntoinneeh and you have suddenly realised that it's going to be really annoying, in which case it might be easier to go with a nickname.

But people on here are always going with all-but-unrelated "real" names and nicknames, and it seems to be fine. "We're naming her Penelope-Genevieve-Anastasia, and using the nickname Meg." :)

The child is 3 months. It's registered but we live in a country where it's easy to change names.

Oh re-reading it seems like the baby isn't born yet? Then I would absolutely dig in and refuse to go with the now-potentially-annoying name.

My younger dd has a "real" but very old fashioned name, and spoken in my (non-British) accent and my husband's (also non-British, but different country again), it's phonetic, so easy to spell, but with the non-rhotic pronounciation common here in England, it sounds like something completely different and she has to spell it all the time, which is annoying.

@astoundedgoat it's a real name from another country. The nickname is also a fairly commonly used name in English. It's not a name I would've chosen and is a bit out of fashion but it's immediately intelligible to the average Brit.

I know what you mean about nicknames but I've never understood how you get those tenuous nicknames to stick at school or in other contexts where they have been registered using their legal name. Surely teachers don't agree to address a child by a name which is far removed from their actual name?

@RainCheckMate I think in this country it must be fairly common because schools, in my experience, always seem to be cool with it, and always use the preferred nickname.

Also, most of the Muslim boys in my kids' schools have technically been called some variation of Mohammed, but go by a different name for ease, so that you don't have 10 kids saying "Yes?" when the teacher asks Mohammed a question. And there are lots of Chinese girls in my daughter's school who almost all use Anglophone names in preference to having their real names butchered by the English accent. So it's definitely a thing here if you decide on that route.

Definitely. We had five Mohammed's and they were Mo, Mick, Harry, Stan and Ed.

In all the schools my children started at we filled in ‘all about me’ forms. On it they would ask the child’s name, and what the child would like to be called. I think it’s fine to ask the teacher to call him by the nickname. It’s obviously not very nice now that you’ve decided you don’t like the name, but clearly you and his dad previously agreed, the child has been born, named and is now 3 months old. I don’t think you can overrule your partner at this stage

Just use the nn from now, and intro your child with that name, and tell school and any other staff that’s what they are called.. and they will just use it. And when you do have to fill in forms just write Katherine (known as KITTY). Will be fine.

Teachers are quite happy to use nicknames (al long as they aren't ridiculous!). There is usually a space on the forms you fill in to say what name the child goes by. Their full name would need to be on their exam results though

Just use the nn you prefer and leave the original name on the BC this happened with my mum and dad and me my mum hated my name after the first few months but dad wouldn't change it so to mum, sister, friends etc I was nn to my dad and on official documents I was my original name (nn didn't have anything in common with the original name was just a name my mum liked) I've grown into my name over the years but still to this day I'm referred to by my nn (I'm 30 and married now never bothered to change the BC as I didn't need to)