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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Taking turns with your partner to name a child

36 replies

Bagging · 28/04/2022 21:46

Has anyone simply left the decision to their partner with the idea that you'd name the next child? How has that gone? Has anyone not liked the name their partner picked, and how did you feel about that?

OP posts:

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toastofthetown · 29/04/2022 19:37

DancingUnderTheLights · 29/04/2022 18:22

Maybe if you're having twins and can't agree but generally I concur with others it's better to agree on names. I've seen a few threads where the man chose the first name with the agreement that the second child would be chosen by the woman but it doesn't happen. Either the man "forgets" that was the agreement or no other child is born leaving the woman feeling annoyed.

And not always men. There was <a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20120418150352/www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a1449031-I-promised-DH-he-could-name-the-baby-Now-Ive-changed-my-mind" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">a great thread in AIBU years ago where the OP named their first child and name her DH hated, and when their next baby came along, he wanted to name her after his grandmother Blanche. Except the OP also wanted input on this baby's name too. I remember by the end of the thread several Mumsnetters had warmed to Blanche. No update though, and I guess baby Blanche would be around 10 now.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 29/04/2022 19:39

Joint name.

if not, you need the power of veto against names you can’t stand.

FirstFallopians · 29/04/2022 19:49

I’m a twin and mum named me, my dad named my sister.

Sister got a name which was most popular in the late 50s/early 60s, and I ended up with a trendy (for the time…) 1980s name which will never, ever be seen as old lady chic.

They don’t go at all, but I suppose it’s better than us having twee matchy matchy names.

2pinkginsplease · 29/04/2022 19:52

I think it should always be a joint decision to name a child and both parents should love the name,

I know a family who were having twins, she picked one name (Rio) and dad picked the other (Simon) named after himself. Mum wasn’t happy but she agreed that he could name one of them.

Autienotnaughtie · 29/04/2022 19:53

We had narrowed it down but I picked 1st n 3rd dh picked second.

Elysant · 29/04/2022 20:00

>>Except the OP also wanted input on this baby's name too. I remember by the end of the thread several Mumsnetters had warmed to Blanche. No update though, and I guess baby Blanche would be around 10 now.<<

I'm not English, but I love Blanche and variant Blanchefleur. Not our top choice though.

I'm also twin and my mum picked my name. My brother got name after great-grandad, my mum picked name that was matchy.
I never heard them arguing over names and my mum had never had another child. I guess because there was never "if that happens" kind of deal.

Dinoteeth · 30/04/2022 00:33

Obviously, it can't always be joint decision, would you really jointly decide your kid's name if one love Desdemona and other Katherine and none wants to budge!
Not to mention middle ground can't naturally occur because middle ground in names is diverse landmine

If it came to two names which are very different but neither parent is happy with the other name then both should be binned and start looking again.

A name is for life, not just a decision on what's for dinner. You both have to be reasonably happy with the choice.

Thousands of names out there has be be something that both parents like.

Elysant · 30/04/2022 08:34

Thousands of names out there has be be something that both parents like.

Well yes, I seen men not respecting their wife name choices, e.g. man hating non traditional names, while woman wanted non traditional name.

It sounds good on paper, joint decision, but in Real Life joint decision isn't always possible.

Enko · 30/04/2022 09:04

Dd1. Has Dhs favourite name of all time. She was not meant.to have this name. We had decided on something else all together but when she was born she didn't look like an Elizabeth. So she ended up w dhs favourite name.

We found names we both loved for dd2 and ds when dd3 was born and we were unsure between two dh said let's go with your first choice or the two as you love it and I got the name I loved with dd1.

However this was done after much talking and communication to get to a list of names we both liked.

SylvanianFrenemies · 30/04/2022 09:16

Best to be a joint decision.

I know someone who did this and their kids' names are similar to Jedidiah and Conor in terms of contrasting style. It does sound a bit odd.

Badlifeday · 30/04/2022 09:21

We couldn't agree. So we did this. But each name was ok iyswim, just not our favourites. Wouldn't have done it for one I'd hated! We each picked the middle name for the first name that wasn't our personal favourite. Give it a year or two and it's just "their" name and I couldn't imagine them any other way.

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