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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Second cousins same name

18 replies

charliechops85 · 15/04/2022 15:20

I am currently expecting my first baby and found our yesterday that we are having a little girl. I've always loved the name Grace and it's at the top of my short girls list of names. One of my first cousins had a baby girl almost 3 years ago and called her Grace. Baby names isn't something that we would necessarily discuss so I never told her it was my favourite name. Should I choose a different name or ask her permission to use Grace? It's playing on my mind quite a lot and causing me to feel stressed. They would be second cousins but with different surnames. Any advice would be much appreciated x x

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M0rT · 15/04/2022 15:29

Best of luck with baby Grace
There is a lot of repetition of names in my family through the generations and the parents are usually just happy with the endorsement of their own name choice.
It's much easier with different surnames too, it will just be Grace Jones/Grace Smith when you are all together.

tillytoodles1 · 15/04/2022 15:32

My grandparents were Irish, and everyone in the family shares names. Most of my first cousins are either Michael, James or John. Females are Margaret, Anne or Nancy.

SoupDragon · 15/04/2022 15:33

I don't think it would matter at all.

autumnboys · 15/04/2022 15:35

We’ve got lots of repeated names with the second cousins, I wouldn’t worry about it at all.

toastofthetown · 15/04/2022 15:39

If you really want to use the name, I'd go ahead anyway. But there are some other things to think about. Grace is a very popular name, so both of you could have expected to be around other Graces. How close are you with your cousin? If you see each other frequently and mix in the same circles then I'd be less inclined to use the name than if you are quite distant and only catch up at weddings. How much do you like the name and are there other names you'd be equally happy with? Would it bother you if people thought you'd 'stolen' the name? I'd only ask permission if you are willing to accept her response, otherwise I'd just inform her. Do you think she will cause any kind of fuss about it?

thewhatsit · 15/04/2022 15:40

Only you will know how close your family is and how often (if at all) the two second cousins are likely to meet.

I see one set of cousins every 12–18 months and the other set I’ve not seen for about 8 years and I’m not sure I’ll ever see again (perhaps at a funeral?). I’ve never met the children of my cousin so it wouldn’t bother me. If you are in your cousin’s life, live locally and see them all the time it might not be ok…

ChoiceMummy · 15/04/2022 15:41

I think that it depends on how close you all are.

Our children all play together and are even in same classes together, so yes it would impact.

I'd use it as a second name if that's still a name you want or change it slightly to say Gracie...

Oakdog · 15/04/2022 15:46

My DHs cousin named her DD the same as our DD, about 5 years later. I think it's lovely that the name is so liked by us all. They don't see each other that often but love having the same name! We didn't give it a second thought!

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/04/2022 16:11

If you don’t see them often crack on and use it, it’s a popular name.

If you catch up on a weekly basis you might want to see how she feels about it, if her being put out would bother you.

Fl0w3ry · 15/04/2022 16:16

I think it depends how often your child would meet the other Grace. If you are likely to see her regularly it might get confusing as you both call ‘Grace!’. If you are unlikely to see them much I would give my baby the name and not ask the cousin if it’s ok first. You should call your baby what you want.

tinyt137 · 15/04/2022 16:20

We called our son the same name as brother in law's son. Cousins with the same name. No one cares. Not even the grandparents.

KirstenBlest · 15/04/2022 16:42

I wouldn't but I know people who did. It seems a bit unimaginative when there are so many different names to choose from

Parentcarerandcrazy · 15/04/2022 16:46

I don't see the issue unless you see a lot of them. Slightly different but I named my eldest son the same name as my cousin's eldest daughter (she is around 12 years older and we don't see a great deal of them). It's never been a problem. We considered naming my youngest son the same name as my husband's cousins daughter but chose another instead that we preferred.

irishfarmer · 15/04/2022 17:10

I am very close to some of my 1st cousins and see them as siblings. Some of my other cousins though I hardly ever see. So it depends. It would be weird for me to choose the same name as some of those cousins and I know my family would think it's weird too.

Grace is a beautiful name which is pretty popular right now so there will be plenty of Graces around, not like you've both choose a very obscure name

TheSnowyOwl · 15/04/2022 17:14

I think it’s fine to use the same name. Traditionally many families would use the same name for children and their children would do the same.

mrziggycoco · 15/04/2022 17:16

But if you choose a name that's popular you are going to have many children with that name in school and family and friends. I like names that are not commonly used. I like Kimberley for a girl now as it's less used. I've not met any children named Kimberley since I was in school.

I wouldn't want my child to have a name that's going to be around everywhere else, and if I did then I'd accept it was going to be the name of many, many, many other children as well.

Your cousin does not own that name. You do not need her permission. I'd say differently if it was a name like Mailie or Linthuasia.

(one is a Hawaiian name, the other my friend made up when we were kids)

BlueOverYellow · 15/04/2022 17:19

Whatever you decide, don't ask for permission. You don't need permission to name your daughter Grace; it's an incredibly normal, frequently used name.

whatausername · 15/04/2022 18:03

There are 10000s of Graces so it's not at all weird that you would also like a popular name, just as she did. If it were particularly uncommon like Bridget or Kiana then it would seem odd.

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