I've fallen in love with my name but DH isn't sold

ellecf21 · 2022-02-06T21:45:51+00:00

Has anyone else has this situation? I fell in love with a name for our baby girl quite suddenly a couple of weeks ago, to the point where I now won't look at any other names because none of them compare. My DH liked the name initially but after a chat with my brother (very close family so the name does get discussed) who doesn't like it he's claiming that's damaged it for him. I'm worried because I obviously want him to love our daughter's name but I just don't know how any other name will do for me now ahhh. Has anyone else had a similar situation? We were very much on the same page with names we liked before this one came up but none of them feel right for me now. Personal experiences extremely welcome!!

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Original poster

ellecf21 · 06/02/2022 21:46

Title of the thread is supposed to say fallen in love with "a" name, not "my" name!

OP posts:

DirtyDancing · 06/02/2022 21:53

Exactly why we kept the names of our kids between us, and just told everyone this is 'Baby Dancing' Never test names out or tell anyone. Honestly, everyone has an opinion about names... but it's not their choice at the end of the day.

Haus1234 · 06/02/2022 21:55

You have to both like the name. Ideally your DH wouldn’t have let his bro put him off it but given he has you will have to find another one!

Original poster

ellecf21 · 06/02/2022 21:57

My mum came up with the name which is mainly why it's in their domain. I know though that discussing it is the worst you can do.

OP posts:

toastofthetown · 06/02/2022 22:03

If your husband no longer likes the name then it has to be off the table, no matter how much you like it. It's very unfair for you to decide that there is only one name that you will consider. If time allows, I'd drop the name conversations for a a couple of weeks, in that time he might have warmed to the name again, and you can start looking at other names to find others that you like.

Original poster

ellecf21 · 06/02/2022 22:06

@toastofthetown I haven't made a decision, I know that wouldn't be fair, it's just how I feel at the moment in my head (I haven't told my DH that). It's hard to imagine picking a name that I don't really love. Was just wondering if anyone else had had the same situation.

OP posts:

WeasilyPleased · 06/02/2022 22:19

This happened to me. I let the name go and I'm very happy with the name we chose but I still mourn the first name.

Luredbyapomegranate · 06/02/2022 22:21

Well you can’t give her a name he doesn’t like, it’s his baby as much as yours.

However after you give birth there’s quite a high chance he’ll agree to anything you want. So what I would do is get a shortlist together, keep this name on it, and hopefully he’ll come round. Don’t argue it now, do it when he’s holding the baby. 😉

Aquamarine1029 · 06/02/2022 22:22

I won't be able to go on until you tell us what the name is.

Original poster

ellecf21 · 06/02/2022 22:32

@Luredbyapomegranate I think you're right! We've said we will wait until she is here to decide so thinking maybe it's best to leave the convo for a few weeks and see what comes up. I'm hoping maybe I'll lose interest but it's hard when the feeling is strong. He's liked it before so it's possible he might like it again. Ultimately want us both to be happy with what we call her, I just never expected baby naming to be so difficult.

OP posts:

Gazelda · 06/02/2022 22:42

When is baby due?

SoupDragon · 06/02/2022 22:49

@Luredbyapomegranate

Well you can’t give her a name he doesn’t like, it’s his baby as much as yours.

However after you give birth there’s quite a high chance he’ll agree to anything you want. So what I would do is get a shortlist together, keep this name on it, and hopefully he’ll come round. Don’t argue it now, do it when he’s holding the baby. 😉

So, you don't think the baby should have a name her father doesn't like but you think the OP should manipulate him into accepting the name. That makes no sense whatsoever.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 06/02/2022 22:53

Ny dh wasn't overly struck on my fave name but a wise friend told me to wait until about five or ten minutes after baby was born then mention it again. He would he so in awe of what l had just done he wouldn't argue. She was spot on with that.
But we had an understanding when lwas pregnant that if he thought of a name he liked more then we would def consider it. He never did so l got the name l wanted.

Orangelover · 06/02/2022 23:07

Exactly the same here. If we have a girl I've literally got my heart set on a name. I love the meaning, the sound, it goes with our surname. I can think of other lovely names that go well with it if we have more, it's not unusual but not super popular either. I just can't get past all its positives

But DH hates it. I'm just really hoping that when he sees the effort of pregnancy and birth combined he lets me have my way

Luredbyapomegranate · 06/02/2022 23:31

SoupDragon

Luredbyapomegranate

Well you can’t give her a name he doesn’t like, it’s his baby as much as yours.

However after you give birth there’s quite a high chance he’ll agree to anything you want. So what I would do is get a shortlist together, keep this name on it, and hopefully he’ll come round. Don’t argue it now, do it when he’s holding the baby. 😉
So, you don't think the baby should have a name her father doesn't like but you think the OP should manipulate him into accepting the name. That makes no sense whatsoever.

@SoupDragon

Don’t be obtuse.

I think the Op can’t and shouldn’t try and force her partner into accepting a name. However, as many women have found, once their partner has seen them give birth, they are often happy for them to choose. So it makes sense not to bring it to a head now.

The OP did not say her partner hated the name, and neither did she say he was stupid, so there’s no reason to think he could be manipulated - but he might decide to capitulate.

Alfixn · 07/02/2022 00:34

Gosh I don't know, I actually think your DH would be a bit unreasonable here if he didn't side with you on this.

After all, he initially actually liked the name, but has allowed someone else's (frankly irrelevant and overstepping) opinion to put him off.
It's a totally different situation to if he hated/strongly disliked the name all along.

Meanwhile the OP has extremely strong feelings on the matter - she loves the name to the exclusion of all others - and is the one actually having the baby. I might get flamed for this, but pregnancy, labour, and lets be honest, early baby rearing are much MUCH harder on the woman - mentally, physically and emotionally, so her opinion surely carries a little extra weight - especially in a situation where she has very strong feelings about the name, and he has flip flopped about on it.

I think he would do well to consider this for himself, and then respectfully capitulate....

LemonVillage · 07/02/2022 00:42

Dare I ask, what's the name OP?

AgathaAllAlong · 07/02/2022 07:15

@soupdragon I don't think it's manipulation, lots of dads I know have felt like that after watching their partner give birth, and let her have final say on a shortlist on the basis that they are blown away by what she did to bring the baby into the world.

On the original question, I love my DS's name. There were two names I loved more, but DH didn't. You can still find a name you will love, especially a name you like becomes a name you love when it's your prescious baby's name.

AgathaAllAlong · 07/02/2022 07:18

Also, never ever ever ever ever ever discuss baby names!! Even with people you're close to.

Enko · 07/02/2022 07:19

My ds doesn't have the name i love and imagined for my ds. As dh didn't like it. So we kept going until we found a name we both liked. He is 20 now and I love his name. Still love the other name but not as much as ds name

SoupDragon · 07/02/2022 07:48

[quote AgathaAllAlong]@soupdragon I don't think it's manipulation, lots of dads I know have felt like that after watching their partner give birth, and let her have final say on a shortlist on the basis that they are blown away by what she did to bring the baby into the world.

On the original question, I love my DS's name. There were two names I loved more, but DH didn't. You can still find a name you will love, especially a name you like becomes a name you love when it's your prescious baby's name.[/quote]
Of course it's manipulation! Deliberately leaving it until the man is "vulnerable" through emotion? What else is it?

SoupDragon · 07/02/2022 07:51

@Luredbyapomegranate

SoupDragon

Luredbyapomegranate

Well you can’t give her a name he doesn’t like, it’s his baby as much as yours.

However after you give birth there’s quite a high chance he’ll agree to anything you want. So what I would do is get a shortlist together, keep this name on it, and hopefully he’ll come round. Don’t argue it now, do it when he’s holding the baby. 😉
So, you don't think the baby should have a name her father doesn't like but you think the OP should manipulate him into accepting the name. That makes no sense whatsoever.

@SoupDragon

Don’t be obtuse.

I think the Op can’t and shouldn’t try and force her partner into accepting a name. However, as many women have found, once their partner has seen them give birth, they are often happy for them to choose. So it makes sense not to bring it to a head now.

The OP did not say her partner hated the name, and neither did she say he was stupid, so there’s no reason to think he could be manipulated - but he might decide to capitulate.

Don't be obtuse.

Of course it's manipulation.

Bluemamma · 07/02/2022 19:39

Well depends on your husband really… when I was pregnant and suggested some names my husband was like “no way!” - with this type of reaction there really was no way on earth to ever convince him. If it’s more of a „hmm im not tok sure” reaction then maybe … but only you know your husband well enough, good luck!