Baby name regret?

[JudgeJudyAgain]

I had hyperemesis and PND and as a result, coupled with the fact the partner didn't agree with me on many names I still didn't have a name for her when she was almost 6 weeks old.
The only one we could agree on was Esmé (Es-may) so reluctantly went for that.
Now I really don't like it. She's forever getting Es-me and the accent is a pain.
It's too late to change it isn't it? She's 4 months.
Anyone else have name regret and did it grow on you?

French pronouncation of Esme = approx Ess-meh forvo.com/search/Esm%C3%A9/fr/

As pp said, it's male in French, and it originated as a male name. The female equivalent would be Esmee = Ess- mey forvo.com/search/Esm%C3%A9e/

In both cases, with acute accents on the second 'e'.

@Rollonspring1111 if it's the name I think it is beginning with a K then I think it's a beautiful name with a great meaning.

What beautiful name! Somebody else mentioned "May". You could call her "Mae" as a pet name (if you like the name). This way, people will realise how to pronounce the last part of her longer name . . . Is it the name that is the issue or how people say it?

Hi. I’m sorry that you’re feeling like this. I had a very similar experience with my now 4 year old. We hadn’t settled on a name for her although I did have one that I kept coming back to. I had a traumatic birth and looking back now realise I was depressed during my pregnancy. To cut a very long story short I felt pressured to register her birth at 3 weeks and immediately felt a crushing regret about her name. I couldn’t say it, felt ill when I saw it written down and developed PND. We eventually chose a name and formally changed her name at 4 months. It’s very easy to do before 12 months. I would definitely change it if you want to and please don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. I completely tore myself to bits about it all but now 4 years later I’m so relieved we changed her name. I’m sending you lots of love x

@Mayhemmumma

I've only met one Esme who isn't es may- I thought es-me pronunciation was an error!

Yes it is. It is definitely pronounced es-mae. Not a y sound though.

It doesnt matter how you spell it. Most people are told people’s name. Theyre just being rude if they pronounce it differently to how youve correctly said it. Correct the lazy fuckers every time.

I changed my son's name when he was 6 months old. At birth, I wanted one name, my ex wanted another so we 'compromised' and came up with a third name. My son was 3 months old when I left my violent partner - it was a very difficult time.

Whilst talking to a friend, I mentioned how I wished my son had the name I wanted - she said I should 'try the name on for size' so I started using 'my' name. It was obviously tricky remembering at first but i didnt look back and when he was 6 months old, I changed it legally.

My son is now 23, he really likes his name and it suits him perfectly 😁

This was posted recently but the other way round!
Lady said everyone called her little un 'Es-may' and she wanted 'es mee'

Just correct people. They'll only get it wrong once.

We have a Sophie. Has been called 'Sophia' by others so many times- just say 'oh it's X not Y'

Lots of names have this problem Isabell/isabella so even if you chose another name you might be in the same position!

If you’re not sure what to change it to id just leave it for now. You only need to tell people once and they get the pronunciation right. Everyone who knows her will know her name.

Hi! So my baby boy is 5 months old. It took me a while to name him and we eventually agreed on Jesse (for a boy) at first I loved it and compliments name flying in. However 5 months down the line I massively regret his name, I get jealous of other people naming their baby boys. I've told my bf how I feel but I don't think he understands.

He's said we can try another name for a few weeks but it feel so guilty that my baby has now developed a personality with his name Jesse and I'll be taking that away.
I'm worried his name is to feminine and he will hate me for calling him that!
But then I start to like his name again and think he's definitely a Jesse, then a few days later I'm filled with this massive regret again.
Has anyone else experienced this? I'm obsessing over it!!

Thankyou

@Wingingitmama92

Hi! So my baby boy is 5 months old. It took me a while to name him and we eventually agreed on Jesse (for a boy) at first I loved it and compliments name flying in. However 5 months down the line I massively regret his name, I get jealous of other people naming their baby boys. I've told my bf how I feel but I don't think he understands.

He's said we can try another name for a few weeks but it feel so guilty that my baby has now developed a personality with his name Jesse and I'll be taking that away.
I'm worried his name is to feminine and he will hate me for calling him that!
But then I start to like his name again and think he's definitely a Jesse, then a few days later I'm filled with this massive regret again.
Has anyone else experienced this? I'm obsessing over it!!

Thankyou

If everyone told you that it’s a great sound and actually sounds quite masculine would that make you feel better?

Or even if everyone else loved it would you dislike the sound?

I think you can always obsess over a name. I also love the name Jesse on a boy.

I have a name that is foreign with two possible pronunciations and I do not give a monkeys which people use. In fact I don't notice at all. Keep her name and be at peace that people will have two ways of saying it. It doesn't matter especially as both are lovely.

I know it sounds silly when I say it out loud because we do always get a positive reaction.
I think it's because my bf didn't like the names I originally picked as I loved "Freddie of Archie"
So although I like the name Jesse I wouldn't of chosen it over the names I'd picked.
People also shorten it to Jess which I hate or spell it with a ie
I'm hoping it's a phase and I'll get over it as I break down in tears when I think of taking his name away from him, I'm in a rut

She won't know at four months. You can start calling her something else till you get the documents sorted. I've never liked that name

@Wingingitmama92 my favourite name for a boy was Jesse but my DH vetoed it.
We named him something else and guess what the first baby I met was called at baby group? Yep Jesse! I felt a pang of envy.

I had really bad name regret for about a year, and kept thinking of changing it, but we couldn't decide on anything else that we both liked and I went from loving his name to hating it over and over again. It didn't help that everyone mispronounced it so I worried he would hate it.
Anyway he's now 2 and his name has totally grown on me. He's a proper little boy now with a personality and I think their name just becomes them and you obsess over it less. You chose Jesse for a reason and it's a lovely name and not girly at all. It's classic and biblical whilst also being trendy so he will be comfortable with his name. It's a great choice.

I changed my baby's name, do it! Best thing I ever done. However, don't change it if it's only because of the way it's pronounced only change it is you really don't like it or it doesn't suit her, do you have another name you feel is more her?

Thankyou so much. That makes me feel so much better.
I've felt almost robbed by my DH that I carried our baby, gave birth and he wouldn't let me have the name I wanted haha, but you're right, there is a reason We chose Jesse.
Thankyou

@Whatshallwecallher

Hi. I’m sorry that you’re feeling like this. I had a very similar experience with my now 4 year old. We hadn’t settled on a name for her although I did have one that I kept coming back to. I had a traumatic birth and looking back now realise I was depressed during my pregnancy. To cut a very long story short I felt pressured to register her birth at 3 weeks and immediately felt a crushing regret about her name. I couldn’t say it, felt ill when I saw it written down and developed PND. We eventually chose a name and formally changed her name at 4 months. It’s very easy to do before 12 months. I would definitely change it if you want to and please don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. I completely tore myself to bits about it all but now 4 years later I’m so relieved we changed her name. I’m sending you lots of love x

I’m in a very similar situation where I can’t currently say DDs name and feel ill with worry about it - very difficult pregnancy and birth, diagnosed with PND. We’re contemplating changing it now and seeing what other name feels “right”. Did you keep your DDs original name as a middle name? That’s something I’ve considered but not sure if that will make me feel better or worse and whether a totally clean break is best!

@Wingingitmama92

Hi! So my baby boy is 5 months old. It took me a while to name him and we eventually agreed on Jesse (for a boy) at first I loved it and compliments name flying in. However 5 months down the line I massively regret his name, I get jealous of other people naming their baby boys. I've told my bf how I feel but I don't think he understands.

He's said we can try another name for a few weeks but it feel so guilty that my baby has now developed a personality with his name Jesse and I'll be taking that away.
I'm worried his name is to feminine and he will hate me for calling him that!
But then I start to like his name again and think he's definitely a Jesse, then a few days later I'm filled with this massive regret again.
Has anyone else experienced this? I'm obsessing over it!!

Thankyou

I can very much relate to the obsession over it! I’m currently struggling with DDs name and worrying about whether it was the right decision (felt pressured after a difficult pregnancy and birth and DH didn’t like any of my name suggestions). Can’t really offer any advice other than to let you know you’re not alone We’re still weighing up changing it now and I think it’s more than likely that we will. Just know that whatever you decide to do will be fine 🙂

@Flopsycroc isn't it just the worse feeling. Sadly no one is on board with me and most people are against me changing his name. Out of interest what did you call your baby? Im sure it's a lovely name, but I know what does make the feeling go away. When I mention changing his name (which is daily atm) I can see the disappointment in my DH face and that hurts aswell :(

It’s always esmee pronunciation where I am in the NW

@Wingingitmama92

Hi! So my baby boy is 5 months old. It took me a while to name him and we eventually agreed on Jesse (for a boy) at first I loved it and compliments name flying in. However 5 months down the line I massively regret his name, I get jealous of other people naming their baby boys. I've told my bf how I feel but I don't think he understands.

He's said we can try another name for a few weeks but it feel so guilty that my baby has now developed a personality with his name Jesse and I'll be taking that away.
I'm worried his name is to feminine and he will hate me for calling him that!
But then I start to like his name again and think he's definitely a Jesse, then a few days later I'm filled with this massive regret again.
Has anyone else experienced this? I'm obsessing over it!!

Thankyou

I dated a Jesse when I was 20 ( I’m 57 now) ....he was gorgeous, italian parents, olive skin, long dark wild curly hair.....but very masculine ...lhe took me to the family holiday villa in Sardinia....memories memories 😂.... I think Jesse is a lovely name....own it...be proud of the name....move on and enjoy your little Jesse😀

@Kitkat151 I absolutely love this reply!! Unfortunately I don't have lovely Italian skin but he is already a gorgeous boy 😍 Thankyou so much

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. After lots of thought we decided to not use it as a middle name. At first I wanted to keep it as I thought it would make it feel easier but eventually realised that a clean break was best. It’s hard for a lot people to understand but the feelings and memories that the name evoked was best left behind. I hope that you find some peace in whatever you decide. Please feel free to ask if there is anything else I can help with x

@Flopsycroc Whatshallwecallher

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. After lots of thought we decided to not use it as a middle name. At first I wanted to keep it as I thought it would make it feel easier but eventually realised that a clean break was best. It’s hard for a lot people to understand but the feelings and memories that the name evoked was best left behind. I hope that you find some peace in whatever you decide. Please feel free to ask if there is anything else I can help with x

In my line of work, the Esmée Fairbairn Foundation comes up a lot (one of the larger charitable grant making foundations in the UK), pronounced as you would expect, -may.

Accents are not a standard part of English spelling so I wouldn't worry too much about the spelling if other people miss the accent. The pronunciation is more important, but there is the potential to mispronounce so many names, even the ones you would least expect...