Middle names

[Guineapiggiesmalls]

I’m pregnant and due in a month or so. We’re having a girl, and our daughter (4) has given her ‘input’ into what we should call her. She’s mainly suggested silly names (chocolate, sweet pea etc), but some have been quite sweet and not entirely ludicrous.

We’re already set on a first name, but would it be wild to let her pick the middle name? My husband is a younger brother and says that it would be bad to let her have this power over the new child, that he’d have hated his brother to name him (although they do have a tricky relationship) and that she might lord it over her when they’re older.

It would be wrong if you let her pick chocolate or something else silly, it has the potential to be really embarrassing for you son when he is older. Logically it won't be a great middle name anyway, 4 year olds don't really know many names, so will likely be a rather bland choice if it isn't something bonkers.

If your husband is against this idea then it's really a no go, no matter how sweet you think it is. Maybe a middle ground would be for you and your husband to come up with a top 3 and let her pick from those.

My boyfriend's parents let him choose his little brother's middle name when he was a kid. He was really into Thomas the Tank Engine at the time and chose "Gordon", after one of the engines. Not exactly the coolest name in the world, but it hasn't scarred his brother for life either. I don't know anyone whose middle name has held them back in life, so if it helps your daughter to feel more included and less jealous of her little sister then I don't see the harm.

I think its a nice thing to do

I agree with him on first names but middle names aren't nearly as important. I think this would be ok to do but just steer her towards names she's said that you like.

My brother and sister picked one of my middle names. I love that my name has meaning even if I am named after my sisters favourite doll

Let her put approved ones in a hat and let her pick one.

I think it's a nice idea as long as her choice is a real name and not something silly or babyish that her sister might grow up to resent her for.

Let her pick her favourite from a list of names that YOU have both approved and like. Give her 6 or 7 names to choose from so it feels like it really is her choice.

I picked my brothers name. I was 8 1/2 when he was born. He's so glad I did as the one his dad picked was terrible.

As others have said (great idea) , find a way to let her choose from an 'approved' list of names.
And also, if you think she would like it, buy her a special 'new sibling' cuddly toy/doll and encourage her to give it whatever name she chooses. Then she can feel she's had input in two ways.

My older sibling and I chose our younger sister's middle name and she loves it.

You can of course veto it too!

Thanks everyone. I obviously wouldn’t give her free reign, but agree that as long as it’s not something the new baby might grow to regret then it’s a lovely idea. Now to persuade my husband…

My eldest, then 7 picked my youngest middle name. We asked him to come up with a shortlist of 5, we would take that down to 2 and he could choose. He chose Henry after a footballer at the time. Youngest is very happy his big brother chose his middle name.