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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Help with name

14 replies

jodesxx · 11/01/2022 22:23

My. DP and I have picked a name that we both love. We wanted a welsh name and it's the welsh name for my grandfather who died in September so it's really quite special.

The only issue is that one of my best friend's kids is called that. Before we decided 100% I wanted to speak to her to make sure she wasn't offended but haven't had the chance to meet up. Problem is now I just love the name and can't think of calling him anything else.

How would you approach it with her? Do I even need to? Should I be calling my kid the same name as hers.

Thanks x

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Aquamarine1029 · 11/01/2022 22:25

I would use the name. Your friend doesn't own it.

Luredbyapomegranate · 11/01/2022 22:26

You don’t need to.

No one owns a name anyway. But even if you were worried about ‘copying’ your friend, it’s obvious you aren’t, you’re naming your child after your grandad.

Santaisstilleatingmincepies · 11/01/2022 22:27

Unless they will be in the same class at school then go for it...

TheBugHouse · 11/01/2022 22:29

If you don’t use it then chances are someone else might. Go for it else you will be cross

toastofthetown · 11/01/2022 22:32

I wouldn’t ask her for permission or even tell her if the name is decided on. Even if you present it as what you’ve decided, it’s almost inviting her opinion. How popular is the name? Not that your friend owns the name either way, but it’s it’s something really popular like Tomos or Harri then I really wouldn’t waste any more energy thinking about it.

Marlena1 · 11/01/2022 22:37

I would use it. I didn't use a name I had on my list as my best friend did but that's because our families are together a lot/we live close by and there was only weeks between the two kids. I would mention it to her though, in case she thinks you didn't consider her.

thetombliboo · 11/01/2022 22:39

I think it depends how close you are and where you live?
If you live in Wales and it's a common name I think it's not as awkward but if it's rare for where you are then maybe she wouldn't like it?
I wouldn't call my child the same name as my best friends child personally, especially if I spent a lot of time with them. 🙁

CalonGaled · 11/01/2022 22:50

Taid or Tadcu?

If it is a very popular name use it. If it is unusual, use it as a middle name.

If you are not in Wales, be aware of pronunciation and spelling issues

Babyfg · 11/01/2022 23:02

My close friend is pregnant and naming her baby the same as my son (she's chosen it after a relative). She just said when I asked had she thought of names, yes we want to name him Harry because of a grandparent.

Tbh my four year is loving the idea, and I must have good taste in names!

I think it depends on how precious your friend is, I'm not precious so I don't think my friend was worried more letting me know out of curtesy rather than asking my permission.

Also is her child still a small baby, hormones and being a new mum can made you hyper sensitive to things that in the grand scheme are ridiculous. If the kids 5 I think your fine!

KloppsTeeth · 12/01/2022 00:40

I wouldn’t care if a close friend’s child was called the same as mine. It isn’t like they are twins and are going to be following each other everywhere. It is a name, and in your case a family connection.

harriet465 · 12/01/2022 10:16

My DD has a variation of her first cousins name. My DD was named after her great grandmother, my SIL just picked the name because she liked it. My DD was born after SIL’s DD - I never felt guilty. SIL was aware it would be my DD’s name

Original poster

jodesxx · 12/01/2022 12:43

Thanks everyone.

It's not that popular but it's well known in Wales.

My DP is welsh and I'm half welsh - living in wales so there's no pronunciation issues.

If it wasn't after my Grandfather, I wouldn't. I may mention it too her but not ask permission so much when I next see her.

OP posts:

Freddie456 · 12/01/2022 13:05

I wouldn’t mind if a friend called their child the same name as my child and I wouldn’t expect a heads up either. A nod to my child’s name after the announcement, something like “I hope your little one doesn’t mind sharing his name with our new addition” would be a nice touch and something I would respond immediately to with “absolutely not, it’s a great name” etc etc.

emmathedilemma · 12/01/2022 13:20

I'd maybe mention it. I have 2 friends and one named their youngest daughter the same as the other's eldest and they were quite taken aback when it happened. That said, they are very close - live near each other, go on holiday together type families although the kids go to different schools. However, the girls are now referred to as "xxxx surname" when anyone talks about them!

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