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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Cousins

22 replies

harriet465 · 31/12/2021 11:47

How many of you have cousins with the same/very similar version of the first name but different surnames?

I come from a big Irish family where I have 3 cousins with a similar version of first name, think Charlotte, Charlie, Lottie all named after a female relative and never been an issue.

A friend of a friend has just called her little girl the same name as her brothers little girl, different surnames and it has caused uproar. The little girls both named after a family member.

Please explain the issue as i am struggling to understand

OP posts:

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Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 31/12/2021 11:52

But the dgm's dgc will have the same name!!

MrsTimRiggins · 31/12/2021 11:55

I think it would be weird to choose the same name for your child as that of your niece or nephew. There are so many names out there, it simply wouldn’t cross my mind to choose one already in the family with such a close link.

MajorCarolDanvers · 31/12/2021 11:56

Some people believe they 'won' a name.

MajorCarolDanvers · 31/12/2021 11:56

Own not won

2pinkginsplease · 31/12/2021 11:59

Very bizarre, now the grandparents have 2 grandchildren with the same name,

I wouldn’t be happy if our siblings used the same name as one of my children, no I don’t own the rights to the name but there are millions of names to choose from be a bit more creative!

My sister wanted to call her child a name that rhymes with my dd’s think Milly and Tilly, it’s just ridiculous, so I told her it would sound strange and the girls would keep getting mixed up and she picked another name,

Zarene · 31/12/2021 12:00

This is fairly normal on my family - there are tonnes of people known as ‘Big Jane and Little Jane’ or ‘Yorkshire Sophie and Devon Sophie’ ect.

It’s all fine, no one gets confused.

Original poster

harriet465 · 31/12/2021 12:00

But if it is a family name after a relative what is the issue with grandparents having grandchildren with the same name?

OP posts:

Whinge · 31/12/2021 12:02

@MrsTimRiggins

I agree. It's really weird to use the same name. Even the family members in the OPs examples haven't used the same name. Charlotte, Charlie and Lottie are all different names, even if they have a connection to one person.

Mxflamingnoravera · 31/12/2021 12:03

I have a cousin whose daughter has my name and I have a son who has that cousin's name. They are family names, used down the generations. We all like the sharing of our names.

Kshhuxnxk · 31/12/2021 12:03

Similar is fine but the same is just weird.

Melonportal · 31/12/2021 12:05

What's there to understand? It doesn't bother you. It would bother other people.

PinkWaferBiscuit · 31/12/2021 12:06

It seems very unimaginative. There are millions of names in the world to choose from, if you want to honour a relative use their name as a middle name and give the poor child their own identity.

I never understood the logic of using the same name repeatedly. If someone thinks it's fine for 2 cousins to have the same name, is it also OK if 3 have it, or maybe 4 children, at what point does it become weird?

DukkaTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 31/12/2021 12:10

I think it’s weird to give cousins the same name, and unoriginal. Use the name as a middle name if you want to honour family. To be fair we just gave our DC names we liked, I’m not really into this ‘honouring family’ thing. Not for first names anyway.

Luredbyapomegranate · 31/12/2021 14:14

Well, lots of families don’t have the tradition of reusing the same name. You have to remember not everyone’s life is like yours.

If first cousins have the same name, assuming their is a relationship with GPS and between the two families, you’d expect the second one to use a nickname. For courtesy, you’d expect the second child’s parents to either explain to the first child’s parents that there’s a specific reason they want to use the name, and they’ll use a nickname at least w/in the family. If there’s no particular reason, it would most polite to check if the first set of parents mind.

Obviously if the family isn’t close and the cousins will never see each other then it doesn’t matter.

Totalwasteofpaper · 31/12/2021 14:29

@harriet465

How many of you have cousins with the same/very similar version of the first name but different surnames?

I come from a big Irish family where I have 3 cousins with a similar version of first name, think Charlotte, Charlie, Lottie all named after a female relative and never been an issue.

A friend of a friend has just called her little girl the same name as her brothers little girl, different surnames and it has caused uproar. The little girls both named after a family member.

Please explain the issue as i am struggling to understand

Yeah its it's with funny one...

On one hand I am with you as I have 4 first cousins all called James

2 are their their 50s and 2 in their 30s and it never seemed to be a problem.
Buttttt there were 9 aunts and uncles so I have 30ish cousins...

If my DB did it we would both only have one child and so all the GC would have the same name which is a bit odd?

whatausername · 31/12/2021 14:34

Imagine being Sarah S at school, being "Jane's Sarah" within the family and named after someone else, it would begin to feel a little like you don't have an entirely distinct identity. Yes, your identity is made of more than your name but, to many, it is a big part of it. If it wasn't then parents wouldn't agonise over choosing a name or be quite so protective of their choice.

DramaAlpaca · 31/12/2021 16:14

I married into a large Irish family. The cousins in my children's generation don't have the same names, but in previous generations they do. DH has three cousins with the same first name and surname. It seems strange to me but is considered perfectly normal by those families.

MargosKaftan · 31/12/2021 16:21

Some families are huge and have the tradition of "family names" being reused, so its not that odd. But if you come from a small family (so there's say, only 2 sets of cousins), and there's no tradition of many people being given the same name through the family, then its really odd. Why on earth would you not think of a different name if your dc had just one other cousin of the same sex? So strange!

Synchrony · 31/12/2021 16:29

I come from a small family and have the same name as my cousin (slight difference in spelling. Think Claire vs Clare). Not named after a relative.

We live at opposite ends of the country and it's never bothered me at all. I haven't seen her in 25 years. I assume it doesn't mean didn't bother the parents as they are still close.

However, it would bother me if my sibling used my child's name unless it was a very obvious family honour name. There are, like, a billion names to choose from. We don't live in a time or place where every other girl is called Mary anymore.

AliceMcK · 31/12/2021 16:41

I’m with you OP, from a big Irish family, lots of cousins with the same name, there is about 5 generations of Joes (Joseph’s), numerous Theresa’s, grandmother, 2 aunts, one died so next girl was also called Theresa, 2 Theresa cousins, and now one of my cousins has a Theresa. Most girls have Mary or Margaret as a middle name, lots of Arthur’s,Johns and Edwards (Ed, Eddie, Ned’s) surprisingly not so many Paddy’s.

I really don’t see an issue with it. DHs family are similar except they have Scottish names.

FeedMeSantiago · 01/01/2022 10:31

I wouldn't use any of my siblings children's names for my DC. It's not the norm in my family to do this so it wouldn't go down well.

My FIL's brother named his son the same first and middle name as FIL and they have the same surname. So let's say FIL is John William Smith and his nephew is also named John William Smith. Personally I find that odd but DH's family re-use names and don't find it odd.

Different families do things differently.

Mischance · 01/01/2022 10:37

Two of my GC have the same name - i.e. cousins.

No-one cares - why should they?

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