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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Help - struggling with pnd and baby has no name

58 replies

ActonBell · 20/12/2021 18:48

Title says it really. DS is 2 weeks and has no name and I’m really finding it difficult. Have severe PND - I’ve been here before and I am getting help. He doesn’t sleep unless being held and I’m beside myself with tiredness.

Really want to decide on a name before Christmas.

We’ve been mulling Aidan, Arthur, Charlie, Henry, Rory (though DH doesn’t like Henry). Looking for two syllables or more. Feel in such a fog and terrified of giving him the “wrong” name.

OP posts:
Marlena1 · 20/12/2021 18:54

Congratulations! Sorry you are having such a hard time, hope you feel better soon. Of your list I love Aidan and like CharlieSmile

CeeceeBloomingdale · 20/12/2021 18:55

They are all nice names, I don't think any would be a bad choice.

WreathSupreme · 20/12/2021 18:56

You need to speak to your health visitor about how you’re feeling. Is dh supporting you enough? Flowers
I like Aidan and Rory from your list.

PlainJane1000 · 20/12/2021 19:23

Congratulations and sorry for your struggles I hope it gets easier. I would cross off Henry if DH doesn't like. From the others all are solid names so maybe consider which rolls best with your surname?
Good luck

OrangeAndYellowAndBlue · 20/12/2021 19:24

I think they are all such good choices, you can't go wrong. So don't worry about the "wrong" name.

Fwiw, I would choose Aidan or Rory, but I like them all.

Good luck to you - I hope things get lots easier soon.

Original poster
ActonBell · 20/12/2021 19:24

Yes - I am talking to midwives and have perinatal mental health involved. This happened with my first son but I was so hoping to avoid it this time. It seems birth and the associated hormones just break my brain. I was fine until 3 days after he was born. Now I’m having intrusive thoughts, deep depression, panic attacks, etc.

Thank you for the support about our name possibilities.

OP posts:
WeDidntMeanToGoToSea · 20/12/2021 19:26

Rory's lovely. Flowers

SleighbellsZ · 20/12/2021 19:28

Aidan or Rory for me!

Just going put some names out there for you;
Harry
Jacob
Joshua
Elliot
Leon
Callum
Daniel
Noah
Oliver
Oscar
Freddie
Alfie
Archie
Tommy
Ethan
Lucas
Rowan

Sorry your struggling Thanks

ThirdElephant · 20/12/2021 19:32

They're all fine, OP. Ultimately, it won't matter. I had a crisis of confidence when my DD was a couple of months old about her name and I still don't much like it out of context, but it doesn't bother me because it's just her name now.

I know it seems like a huge decision, but as long as you're not naming him Lucifer Morningstar or anything it'll be fine.

Arethechildreninbedyet · 20/12/2021 19:36

They’re all lovely names OP.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re having a tough time!
If you want to pick the name I would cross off Henry instantly and then pick your top three, then top two and your final choice.

If that’s too tough could you cross off names at random? Congratulations on your beautiful baby OP.

For what it’s worth I think Rory is beautiful!

RogerThatBravoOne · 20/12/2021 19:40

Charlie - I have a one year old Charlie and his face is a picture of sunshine. He makes everyone laugh and is just lovely. He gets called cheeky Charlie a lot. He a rubbish sleeper and would often not fall asleep unless he was in your arms!

It’s good that you’re getting the support and you’ve recognised what’s going on from previous experience. Hope things improve Flowers xx

TheHOHOHOnlyMrsM · 20/12/2021 19:41

@ActonBell

Title says it really. DS is 2 weeks and has no name and I’m really finding it difficult. Have severe PND - I’ve been here before and I am getting help. He doesn’t sleep unless being held and I’m beside myself with tiredness.

Really want to decide on a name before Christmas.

We’ve been mulling Aidan, Arthur, Charlie, Henry, Rory (though DH doesn’t like Henry). Looking for two syllables or more. Feel in such a fog and terrified of giving him the “wrong” name.

My favourites from your list are the equally magnificent Arthur and Rory. I'm not keen on Aidan, but as your DH's opinion matters a bit more than mine, the only one to rule out is Henry. Remember that we are likely to have a King Charles next, if that influences your decision one way or the other. Thinking of you and your family, OP, and wishing you well. Getting yourself some help shows a superpower in itself, so well done. Flowers
Synchrony · 20/12/2021 19:47

Write off Henry if your husband dislikes it.

You could both list the rest of the names in preference order and compare? See if that sheds any light?

Or toss a coin and see if you are secretly hoping for a particular outcome.

All the names are lovely. For some reason I also thought of Declan.

Synchrony · 20/12/2021 19:49

Ps you can't give him the wrong name. He wasn't born with a secret name that you somehow have to psychically deduce. The right name will just be the one you choose.

CocoKev · 20/12/2021 19:53

I would say Rory, no contest. I have an 8 yr old one- we get lots of compliments on the name, he is the only one in his school and it's a familiar name without being too popular IYSWIM. Also- mine is a December baby and is sunny, bright and brings laughter with him into every room.

Wishing you all the best, really hope you can get whatever help you need x

Freddie456 · 20/12/2021 19:56

I have a Rory and love his name more and more every day. It’s a wonderful choice x

ColouringPencils · 20/12/2021 19:59

You don't need to decide now if you don't feel up to it. You have 6 weeks to register the birth, don't you? I am sure there are some lovely snuggly baby nicknames you can call him for the moment. I don't want to out myself as it's quite unusual, but we call DS by his nickname for quite a while. I like all your suggestions by the way.

17caterpillars1mouse · 20/12/2021 20:03

I like Aidan. I've always thought it's a nice name but you don't meet any little Aidan's anymore (at least in my area)

I also really like Charlie

Buddhabowl · 20/12/2021 20:04

I have a Rory and I've never regretted it for a minute. Your other choices are also lovely. Arthur is very popular now (top 4 I think) if that makes a difference. I think Charlie is a lovely friendly name too.
Good luck, don't rush your decision, you've got time.

CampagVelocet · 20/12/2021 20:06

They're all good names OP. You honestly can't go wrong with any of them, so don't worry about that.

Cindie943811A · 20/12/2021 20:08

You have another 4 weeks until you need to register him so why no call him one of your 4 chosen names (omitting Henry) each week and see which one seems to “fit”?
Good luck and I hope the hormones stabilise soon.

Alfixn · 20/12/2021 20:09

All your names are great choices but I particularly like Aidan and Rory!

Post partum is hard even without PND. My sympathies, but I'm glad you are getting help OP. Best of luck with your lovely little son.

RussianSpy101 · 20/12/2021 20:09

Arthur or Charlie.

Please remember you get 6 weeks to register baby. Go easy on yourself and I hope you have lots of support.

Billyliarohdear · 20/12/2021 20:09

Love Aidan. It's one of my favourite names alongside
Owen
Isaac
Evan
Euan

Doona · 20/12/2021 20:10

All great names.

I had exactly the same, except it was my husband who could not decide. Its really distressing not to have a name for the baby!

So what I did was pick a fairly common, serviceable name, and it's fine. He loves his name now he's older. It works. Then, I had another son later and put more work in on the names early on, and he has a more creative name, and that also works. He loves his name too. You can't really go wrong. Just ignore the unease.