Asian or English names?

[ScottyDog7]

So DP is Pakistani by birth, raised Muslim but has identified as atheist for all adult life. Has 2 DSs from previous relationship (ex wife also Pakistani Muslim) and DSs has his surname, and "Muslim" names although more Turkish (I think).
I'm pregnant. I'm white British. I've always been a bit spiritual but raised and identify as agnostic.
There's a Muslim version of an angelic name which I LOVE. But my family are a bit at it, as are most of my friends. We are not married, but plan to be in a few years so DC will have DPs surname, which is obviously Asian.
I hate to think it but I worry about racism for my children, and how it may effect their future with an obviously none white British name.
It's making me question not just the first name but also the surname. If the baby is born looking more like one ethnicity than the other, that may have more influence. But then pigment can darken as the baby gets older...
DP is quite light skinned. And I'm pasty white. So we think baby is likely to be on the lighter side.

Also I'm totally blaming pregnancy hormones and lack of sleep for this sudden chain of though/ possibly irration fear. I just want my child/children to have the best and easiest life possible.

I’m going to be really blunt. I live in Aus and it’s quite a racist place (moved from London). I find it’s extremely white and segregated in general- most non white people tend to be Chinese, Indian or south east Asian and live in their own ethnicity areas. I would give them a western name.

Also wanted to say, OP, I was in a similar situation, dad was Muslim, mum wasn't.
Different races but not the ones you mentioned.
I was given an Islamic name with an English nickname.
Everyone used the English nickname.
In the end I changed my name legally to the English nickname but that wasn't entirely because of the name.
Something like that may work for you.

OP if you look on baby name lists of Muslim names there are plenty of names which are instantly recognisable and even if they have different spellings you can recognise them by their pronunciation. While some of them aren't English they won't stand out as being Muslim as they are common in other European countries e.g. Ireland, Greece, Russia.

I know plenty of people who have such names which they don't realise. And when I was looking for names for my DD I deliberately choose a middle name that fitted within those parameters due to my wider family culture.

You basically Google for a list of Muslim names. Check any names you like have variations in other cultures, look at the spelling variations for that name and choose an Anglicized spelling.

For example just did a Google now for Muslim girls names and it threw up the well-known names Anita, Alisha, Ariana, Amelia, Amber.....

OP if you are choosing a name familiar in English please use the most common spelling eg Michael not Micheal. You cannot imagine how infuriating it is to have a normal name with a not normal spelling, you spend your life correcting people, altering forms etc.

I have come across people using names that can easily be anglicized eg Karenjit and Sharonjit (yes I know they are Sikh names).

user97533676 is not unusual in having a nickname, it's quite common with people from Hong Kong and works well.

Anyway congratulations on your pregnancy, you may find you take a look at your child and they look like a particular name.

Pakistani origin here, mixed couple but both Muslim. So dc have dh’s western last name but have muslim first and middles muslim name because we are muslims.

So what stands out to me is that neither of you are muslim and it really makes no sense to have muslim first names when you aren’t. Given your situation I’d choose an English name that you like rather than muslim name that you are going to anglicise that looses the sense of the name, a lot of people of mumsnet suggest that as an obvious solution but it’s not great.

Pakistani-German friends whose parents weren’t married were given German 1st name then Pakistani (muslim midddle names) and then German last name to be changed on marriage but never did. They’ve always said the middle name gave them an actual cultural link but not everyone’s business.

In terms of a last name, as you aren’t married I wouldn’t give my dc my dp name unless we were married.

I really don’t think you should go down the rabbit hole of what your child’s skin colour or tone will be. What ever it will be it will be perfect and you will do the best for him or her regardless.

My friend is Scottish and her two have Celtic first names and their Dads Asian surname.

Micheal is the spelling often used in Ireland.

Agree with @takeme2insanity

Oh my gosh, please don't name your baby Izra'il or Azrael, that's the angel of death. I think your DPs family would also really not like that name!

Aliyah and Leila/Laila are Arab/Muslim names too, I think it's only now becoming more common for white people to use these names.

Honestly, it doesn't matter what your baby's name is. There are so many weird and wonderful names these days that nobody will probably notice, as well as mixed cultural names. Pick something you and him both like - the fact that baby's surname will be Pakistani will probably give away their race anyway!

I know of someone who named her child Gabriel to fit in with the Western Culture he was raised in, but the Middle Eastern side called him Jibreel and that worked for her family. I wouldn’t worry about ‘Gay’, gay isn’t an insult

I would do English first name, Asian middle name, if you will be living in an English speaking country. I have a name which does not match my cultural background and I have spent my entire life spelling it.... I am very careful to spell and pronounce other peoples' names right though!

Give any british name you like, but if child looks anything other than white british he will still be victim of racism.

If you're keen to include a nod to your partner's heritage, maybe you could look for a middle name that has a connection with his place of birth, or an aspect of the culture in which he was raised? There are a lot of beautiful names with connections to Pakistani culture without being overtly associated with one faith or another.

If neither of you are practising Muslims then it probably wouldn't make that much sense to give your child an overtly Islamic name, although if you wanted that association there are lots of names which have English versions, eg. Michael, Noah, Mary.

In terms of UK legal issues around names, if you aren't married (with a legally valid UK marriage), I'd suggest using your last name for your baby. It makes a lot of things easier if you and your baby have the same last name, and gives some additional protection in case of a relationship breakdown. You could then change both your last names after marriage if you wanted?

In Islam, the main piece of guidance about naming a child is to choose a name with a good meaning which will set them up for a life in which they can find success and happiness and be a good and kind person. Pick a name that you and your partner love, that has a nice meaning and makes you both happy.

(But I'd really recommend not going with Azrael...)

Malik / Malika

@ScottyDog7

As much as I'd love to get married before the birth thats just not financially possible. Unless we just have a quick sign the paper wedding at the local registry office. Which is not my ideal situation.

I'm not personally a fan of double barreled surnames. But maybe it's an option and can be changed once we're married... DP is pretty laid back about all of it, so it feels like a big responsibility to me at the moment.

Have a registry office wedding now. Do the big wedding, if you still want it, when you have the cash.