Theo for a girl?

[HallieHufflepuff]

Hello Mumsnet,

DH& I are TTC and we really like the name Theo for a girl or a boy.
Also thinking Theodore or Theodora on the birth certificate but would mostly refer to them as Theo.

Haven't told anyone that we are TTC, nevermind our baby name thoughts. I am just wondering what people's thoughts are on our name?

@HallieHufflepuff

With some posters saying about their experiences growing up. Do you think children born in the next few years will still have these issues?

It's 2021, do people still assign genders to names?

Well yeah, of course they do? If you went to a wedding meal and saw on the table plan you were going to be sitting next to someone called Gemma wouldn't you be a bit surprised if a man turned up?

It's not a huge issue but it'll just be irritating having to explain your name all the time really. Having said all that I do really like Theo for a boy but it could work for a girl in a quirky way. Thea is also lovely.

It’s not gender, first of all. It’s sex.

And yes, of course people do.

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule I know that it's sex. But those saying "it's a girl's name" is surely thinking in terms of gender and not sex?

No, they’re (we’re) thinking of sex.

If you want to call your daughter Theo, you’re free to do so.

You asked the question, and people are answering it. If you don’t agree then you don’t have to pay any attention.

However your child likely won’t thank you. Perhaps they will like it, but more likely they won’t.

Of course sex matters, and yes, most people are still going to assume that a girl’s name is a girl’s name.

I actually quite like Theo for a girl as a diminutive of Theodora, which is odd as I don't like it for a boy at all. Theo is much better than Thea, which to me is wispy and insubstantial.

I know two girls called Theo. Not sure why people are saying it’s not a girls name. Theodora is definitely a girls name and an ancient one at that. I know a Thea too.

I love it!

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule I do want people's opinions, now rather than when we actually name our child. So I'm happy that people are commenting.

You seem pretty confrontational about it all though.

Whilst I prefer Thea as a nn for Theodora, I think Theo is nice and could work. It doesn’t sound overly masculine at all and is technically a girl’s name too anyway.

@HallieHufflepuff

With some posters saying about their experiences growing up. Do you think children born in the next few years will still have these issues?

It's 2021, do people still assign genders to names?

Yes they do. As I said earlier, there are no records at all of any female Theos in England and Wales, and it's #17 for boys. Traditional names are still extremely gendered. There is a move towards unisex names, but these tend to be nature names, surnames, place names or nicknames for a longer names (like Alex, Andy, Charlie etc.) or more modern names in general. People aren't calling their daughters Oliver or their sons Amelia. Maybe society will move more toward gender fluidity but I can't see that being in your child's early childhood.

But (assuming it's a nickname for Theodora) I think it's fine, as nicknames are easily changed if she doesn't like Theo. Charlie, Bobbie, Phil etc. are all names which most would assume are boys/men on first hearing them but are common nicknames for established girls names, so it's not like what you're suggesting hasn't been done before. I love Frederica with Freddy as a nickname (but I wouldn't expect Mumsnet in general to like it).

I know two girls called Theo. Is Theo the name on their BC? I'd be a bit surprised if it was if I'm honest.

Yes Theo could technically be a girls name but it’s SO popular for a boy right now that she really would be an oddity. I wouldn’t!

Thea is lovely

@HallieHufflepuff apologies! I was very tired (very busy day) and I went to bed and thought, I sounded way too adamant about that...but I was just too tired to come back to the thread. Didn’t mean it to sound confrontational at all. My ‘getting things done voice’ doesn’t always sound great written down.🌷

Also as pp said, as a nickname it’s a little different, akin to Freddy for Frederica, Bobby for Roberta, and so on. That could work and can also be changed if she doesn’t like it. Theo on the birth certificate would still be a no from me personally, though.

Theo is lovely for a boy or girl and Thea is great too . I have a Thea and shes 5 now

I liked Theodora nn Theo for our second if a girl, but our first born (also a girl) was exceptionally bald until about 3 and wore lots of ‘boy’ clothes so it wasn’t worth the aggro!

Also, Theo is really popular as a boys name and even though she would’ve been the only girl Theo in her class at school, she easily could’ve been one of two or three people with the name Theo in class; then she would’ve been ‘Girl Theo’ to all the other kids which didn’t appeal.

I actually love both of the full names - Theodore for a boy and Theodora for a girl. And their respective nicknames. So from that perspective you have picked perfect names IMO.

I know several Theo's in my son's year and they're all boys so I would always assume it was a boys name. I've never met a female Theo although I really like it for a boy. I think Theodore and Theodora are awful though, sound really old fashioned and stuffy. I love Thea for a girl though.

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule No worries, I was tired too. Thanks for explaining and I do appreciate everyone's opinion and that people are commenting and sharing their thoughts. I know not everyone will be a fan which is why I am asking before naming a child (not actually pregnant yet either).
Sorry for reacting too, I should have just left it because it can be hard to get your tone across well over the internet.

@toastofthetown It would be Theodora, so they would have the option to choose to be known as something else: Theo, Thea, Dora, perhaps their middle name? But if we named her Theo, it would be Theodora on the birth certificate.

It's quite popular for boys right now, so people really will think she's a boy before meeting her - having said that, as long as it's a nn for Theodora, you can always switch to Thea if isn't working, or she can later on.

Just not as a full name - that would not be fair on her

@Luredbyapomegranate If we chose Theo, we would put a longer name on their birth certificate (Theodore or Theodora) and they could change their nickname if they chose to

And yes, you're right. We could always use or change to Thea.

I think Thea is beautiful. I wouldn’t think much about a girl called Theo though I would assume a boy until I realised otherwise.

For what it’s worth a good friend of mine has a nickname that is presumed to be a man’s name and she uses it deliberately as she likes people assuming (via email, for job applications etc) that she’s male - she says it makes her life easier!

I know a woman called Gareth. Now that’s strange.

I think it's OK too. I've also read books with Theo as a main character, and is a girl. As long as the full name is Theodora, and she has a choice, it's fine. Just because lots of people haven't heard of it for a girl, doesn't mean that it's not also been a girls' name for quite a while. People named Alex and Sam manage, particularly if they have the full long names.

I love the name Theodora and Theo for a girl is very cute