My wildcards: Aubrey or Barnaby?

[Mybobowler]

Baby boy due soon. We have a shortlist of very boring normal/common names to choose from when he arrives (think Harry, Charles/ie, William etc) but I fancy having a couple of wildcards up my sleeve. Our daughter has an uncommon-but-not-weird name and I like that it's fairly unusual.

So, tell me, am I a hormonal mess or are Aubrey and Barnaby good options?

(And yes, I know Aubrey is increasingly used for girls but that doesn't bother me at all. It annoys me that the go-to "gender neutral" names are usually traditionally boys' names (Frankie, Sammy, Stevie, Jamie etc) rather than the other way around)

I 100% agree with you on the gender-neutral thing, but that said, I prefer Barnaby. I just think it's a fab name!

I prefer Aubrey

I love Aubrey

I love barny as a shortened version.

I think they are both lovely.

Aubrey always brings to my mind the novels by Patrick O'Brian where one of the leading characters is Jack Aubrey (played by Russell Crowe in the film).

Maybe it's just from having read the books, but I now associate the name very much with that time period (200 years ago).

Barnaby gets my vote

Barnaby.

I prefer the sound but also because I knew a lovely Barnaby/Barney when I was a teenager

Ooh this is much more positive than I was expecting - thanks everyone! Husband prefers Aubrey, but Barnaby has a slight edge for me. I love them both though - I like the earthy/folky vibe to them.

Right then, they're on the list!

Aubrey is way too feminine now - it may not bother you, but it's not really about you, it's your son who has to live with it. I drastically prefer Barnaby any way, it's a much nicer name than Aubrey.

Really love both
I'd pick Barnaby

I think Aubrey sounds terribly pompous in the U.K. and in the US is a girls’ name.

Prefer Barnaby but don’t live Barney.

I love Barnaby but then I know two Aubreys who are middle aged men that aren't particularly pleasant so that would be an firm no on that name!

Aubrey is awful

They're both very wet.

Really like Barnaby, dislike Aubrey.

Our DD is 5 weeks and was going to be Barnaby if she was a boy

I really like Barnaby nm Barney

I like both. Aubrey might have the edge for me

Barnaby

Barnaby, quite like Barnie too

I quite like Barnaby, don't love Barney as a short form but could live with it if that was what he preferred.

Sorry but I don't like Aubrey at all. I definitely think of it as a boy's name, no problem there, but I can only picture someone older and kind of pompous and humourless. Maybe if it became popular for little boys the association would fade, but I think it would be a bit difficult for a child to live with right now.

I can't stand them... but it doesn't matter. Child will make whatever you choose their own.

Wildcards that (I don't mind &) might also suit your tastes:

Alfred, Raymond, Emmet, Gerald, Jeremy, Wyatt, Vaughn, Stuart.

Ahh there we are, I knew these would divide opinion! I'm always interested to know why people don't like certain names, so this is helpful!

Actually I agree that Aubrey is a bit of a wet name (you'd think that would really put me off), but I don't mind the feminine associations. I'm interested that some people are incredulous about a boy with a feminine-sounding name, but no one bats an eyelid at a girl called Charlie, Sam, or Alex (to name but a few). Obviously I'm not going to choose a name for my son purely to make a point about the fallacy of so-called gender neutral names, but it is interesting! Does anyone still use Hilary or Evelyn for boys?

On Barnaby, I'm OK with Barny as a nickname but probably wouldn't use it myself - the purple dinosaur is a strong image! I also use it a lot in the "the next door neighbours are having a barny again" context.

In any case, I think it's highly likely that this little boy will end up with a perfectly ordinary and unremarkable name. But it's nice to think of a few slightly left-field options.

Ps slightly facetious example with Hilary - have there been any baby Hilarys of either sex born in the last forty years? Maybe it's due a comeback?!