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Sorry, but help!
22

kayport87 · 29/09/2021 15:58

I know I'm being a pain in the butt with these name posts. I can't do this boy name crap!

So I mentioned to my sister that we would honor my dads name, Brian, as the middle name. My dad mentioned to her that he has 6 grandsons and non are named after him, but named after other relatives. For example, my other sons name is Ezekiel James, James after my grandfather that passed. I feel like now that I said that, and I don't honor it, and something happens to my dad I will full heartedly regret it.

But I can't get myself to like Brian with any of the first names I like. Really, I can't like the name Brian alone at all. Soooo... I was thinking maybe using a alternative to Brian. Like..

Briant- (more commonly spelled Bryant, but my brothers name is also Bryan spelled with a "y" tho, so spelling Bryant with a y would honor him and not my dad, right?)

Or

Biran- Alternate spelling of Byron, with same letters as Brian just different sound

I wanted the first name to be a "Cas" name, so nn will be Cas. I like Cassiel and Cassian, but feel Cassiel might sound better with any of those alternative options. I do not like Casper or Caspian. What do you think? I feel like maybe I'll have to let go of my obsession with the nn Cas for my boy and find a different first name that goes really well with one of those middle names.

What are some other cool, different, unique, first names that sound cool with Briant or Biran??

Or should I just not name him after my dad? He must have mentioned non of them being named after him because it causes a soft spot for him though.

I need options and ALOT of help lol 😩

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Camandmitch · 29/09/2021 16:01

My dad is Brian. If I had had a boy the middle name would have been Ryan which is as close as I was willing to get to Brian!

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ToadstoolBubbleMaker · 29/09/2021 16:01

Wtf?! Your dad already has his own son named after him (assuming Bryan is Brian's son?) and he's moaning that none of his grandsons are named after him? Does he know it's not a god-given right to have a newborn given the same name...?

I'd totally ignore him and his guilt tripping and choose names you like.

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WithMyEncyclopedia · 29/09/2021 16:02

Cassian Brian is two "ian" endings in a row. I love Cassian but agree you could use an "inspired by" Brian name for a middle name. I really like Byron, but Biran looks like biriani to me Grin
Tbh a middle name can be as weird and wonderful as you like, as it doesn't get used much ime.

If your brother is already Bryan I'd consider your dad's name to be sufficiently "honoured" already, to be honest.

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WithMyEncyclopedia · 29/09/2021 16:03

What's your dad's middle name? Could you use that?

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TheWayTheLightFalls · 29/09/2021 16:09

Didn’t you start a near-identical thread on this in the past week?

Cassian Brian is fine.

Biran isn’t a name.

Byron isn’t to my mind a way of honouring someone called Brian, because it’s a different name.

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Aquamarine1029 · 29/09/2021 16:16

Sorry, but your father is being a total prick about this. This baby is your baby, and you can choose whatever name you want to, he'll get over it. Brian is an awful, dated name, so who could blame you for not wanting to use it, even for a middle name. Brian is my husband's middle name and he hates it.

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ActonBell · 29/09/2021 16:20

Can you choose something that’s personal to your dad in another way? His favourite author or singer? A place that he loves? I don’t think you should feel bound to give your child a particular name just to acknowledge him. The important thing is the connection he has with his grandchildren not that they’re named after him.

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MirandaBlu · 29/09/2021 16:24

Will your dad feel like a variation of Brian honours him? Some people wouldn’t unless it’s the exact name, but I guess if he was cool with Bryan then he’s flexible. If he is, then Bran (Irish/Welsh) and Brajan (Polish) could be other options. Or does he have a middle name you could use? Or let him pick the middle (within reason - of course, he might just pick Brian).

Personally, I’d use the first name I liked best and maybe wrangle the middle. It’ll hardly ever be used. And while I don’t personally like Brian, I think dated is a bit much - it’s been used in Ireland for 1000 years. But if you dislike it, don’t force yourself to use it.

It’s too bad no one in your family is having a girl, because Bryony/Briony is a pretty cool middle name. (Sorry, I know that doesn’t help with a boy!)

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TatianaBis · 29/09/2021 16:42

Cassian is a nice name. If you don't like Brian don't use it.

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elfran · 29/09/2021 16:48

I agree with PP that Bran feels fresher, more stylish and goes better with any of you first name choices than Brian or any of your (frankly tenuous) reimaginings of it.

I'd also say that since your brother has been named after your dad, he's been honoured enough already. How many generations would he like called after him?

Most of all, do not give up on your preferred first name to suit a middle that you don't even really like, feel obligated to include or have wrangled an honorific out of.

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kayport87 · 29/09/2021 16:49

I wish I could delete a post, I talked to my sister and my SO and came to the conclusion that I will go with a name that I absolutely love and not settle for a middle name I don't like. I would if he didn't already have his own son honoring his name. Thank you all for the support and helpful comments.

Now I will find the perfect awesome name that I LOVE!

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notsogreatnowboris · 29/09/2021 17:09

Really middle names matter zilch once your DC is in school. I am sometimes surprised when I remember my DC's middle name and that they even have one.
No-one says it, it's not written anywhere, except passport and exam certificates etc.
If you'd like a name to remember your DF but don't like the actual name, it won't ever be heard so don't worry about that aspect! You'll see or hear it at most once a year I reckon.

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TyrannosaurusRights · 29/09/2021 17:41

Do you share a surname with your father and your children? Or will your child have his father’s surname or your surname that isn’t your father’s?

If so you could turn his surname as a middle name if this honouring business is really important to you.

Or two middle names Cas(whichever you pick) - your preference of middle name- Brian - surname

And honestly keeping all these discussions as a single thread would have made it much easier to follow and advise.

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FayCarew · 29/09/2021 18:25

If your DF is Brian, naming your DS Bryant or Biran is telling your DF you don't like hs name.
Brian is a great name.

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tickledtiger · 29/09/2021 18:30

I’ve seen Brian come up on this site twice now and it gets a lot of negativity. I’m genuinely curious about why people think it’s such a bad name.

Anyway you made the right choice op. I don’t feel bad if his son is named after him!

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FayCarew · 29/09/2021 19:26

It's because it's a granddad name that's not come back in to fashion

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Nahhh · 29/09/2021 19:29

Either go with Brian or don’t bother at all, a halfhearted gesture will be seen as just that.

My daughter has my gran’s name as a middle name, it’s very old fashioned and I wouldn’t have dreamt of using it as a first name but it honours my gran and I love it for that. No one ever really uses a middle name so they’re a good place for sentimental names!

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Balonzette · 29/09/2021 23:45

Look. Cassien is a gorgeous name.

Brian is a boring dad name. It's a Gary/Ian/Nigel of a name.

It's not horrible. But it isn't going to sound super cool with any first name.

You definitely should not change your gorgeous first name choice because you're hoping a different first name will sound better with Brian.

Brian is what it is. It's not a cool, beautiful sounding name. And that's okay! You're not using it because you want it to sound lovely. You're using it as a honour name.

Don't spoil a lovely first name choice by changing it to frantically try and find something that makes Brian sound cool. People never say someone's entire name out loud anyway! They'll just call him Cassien, never Cassien Brian. If anyone sees the name written down, it will be obvious it's an honour name.. nobody will think anything of it.

There's no point usint an honour name if you're going to change the name. Your dads name is not Bryant/Briant/Biran. So if you use any of these, you are not honouring your dad. You're just clutching at straws. And none of these names are even that much better than Brian.

So you should do one of these two things:

A. Call your child Cassien Brian. It sounds fine, it honours your dad, and Cassian is perfect, and Brian will never be said anyway.
B. Call your child Cassien, and tell your dad that you love him very much so can he please choose your child's middle name, as you'd love for him to have a name connection to this child but Brian is a bit of a dad name and you're worried it won't suit baby.

I'm sure your dad will be flattered either way.

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EdgeOfACoin · 30/09/2021 05:22

It's funny, I'm in my thirties and knew one or two Brians my own age growing up. To me, it doesn't sound especially dated (any more than say, Mark or Matt) and I actually quite like the sound of Brian.

It's funny how people can like Ryan, Bryant and Byron, yet have such a visceral reaction to Brian. The name will come back into fashion soon enough.

However, I see that the OP has decided to go with a name she loves anyway, which is the right thing to do. As a PP pointed out, Brian senior has already named a son after himself and has presumably passed on his surname. I think men need to get over passing on their names.

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tickledtiger · 30/09/2021 09:23

Thanks for the explanation guys. It’s weird because Gary and Nigel, I get it, out of fashion, I can see that. But Brian doesn’t bother me at all. I quite like it.

Having said that even “unfashionable” names like the examples above, I don’t think they’re bad names to use at all.

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ILoveShula · 30/09/2021 10:45

Gary, Nigel and Brian are all ok. They aren't trendy, but they're still IMO nice

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Martz · 08/10/2021 12:55

I think it’s really unfair when parents try to guilt trip their sons and daughters into naming their babies after them or after ghosts of family past. My MIL did the same, she demanded all sorts be added into DS’s name when I was pregnant. In the end I made a joke of it and I told her that DS was a person and not an heirloom. Then every time she suggested any extra names, I continued to make it lighthearted as though it was a running joke about her making DS into an heirloom. In the end she got fed up of asking me, she probably thought I was a bit of a moron too as I just kept pretending I wasn’t getting it that she was serious in her requests. But it stopped her pestering us.

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