Why would you “honour” someone and give their name to a child?

[Elisemum]

Just a general topic for discussion as I’m curious of people’s opinions :) read so many threads here and often seeing people naming their children after a member in their family. Sometimes it ends up in a name they don’t even like for the sake of honouring someone. I have a few amazing people in my family, my grandparents were my world and my everything, i miss them dearly every day and I think about them all the time… however why on earth would I want to give their names to my children? Children deserve to have their own names, they are their own human being with their own life and personality. I can honour my grandparents/parents/FIL/MIl by having their pictures, thinking about them/ talking about them with kids etc but why on earth do people think it’s ok to use their names? Just looking for opinions on this topic:)

My family first DD gets mums name as middle name.

I know about 6 generations female names because of this. Generally and esp in past they get surname father and nothing linking maternal line.

I like this tradition.

DS had FIL name as a middle name. FIL died before DS was a twinkle in anyone’s eye. Yes DS has his own identity but his grandfather is part of that. People name their children after celebrities or book/film characters and ultimately, unless you make something up, all names will also have someone else’s identity tied up with it.

My aunt (dad's sister) died as a child and when I was born his mum asked if they would consider using her name as a middle name for me.
My mum was so touched her MIL had asked as I wasn't the first girl grandchild. I've always loved my middle name.

I think you are assuming that parents are ascribing the attributes of the honored relatives and ancestors to their children. That's not the case.

I used 'family' names for my DCs, for both first and middle names. I'm lucky to have a huge extended family to choose names from, so all their names are names I like. I killed two birds with one stone.

My aim was to give my DCs a sense of their heritage, to help them feel connected to their extended family even though we live on different continents.

I myself am named after an aunt, a great aunt, and several great- great aunts. All of them used diminutives of the name to distinguish one from the other. My parents decided to use the Irish version of the name for me.

Mum and dad had argued to a standstill over another name which was also a family name - dad wanted an older version ( the original) and mum wanted something more 60s-tastic; think Louisa vs Louise for an idea of the difference. I wish dad had won 🙂

My father's family used the same set of boys names for generations. Makes them easy to spot in records and graveyards. Frank X in Oxford was way off his manor, and John Edmund is always one of ours.

Every grandchild in our family has the same middle name - to honor and remember a person that our great-grandparents had a connection with that was very special. ( For example, Think Ben Disraeli Jones, Barbara Disraeli Jones, Frank Disraeli Clark, etc.) Not just the name, but the story of what this name means to our family is passed down.

This particular name may soon be wiped out by wokeness, so we are carrying the memory of this person through our children.

I'm named after a great grandmother and my gran aunt both who passed before I was born. The name and various versions of it are common in my extended family but it hasn't stopped me being an individual and I've never felt any pressure to be like any of my name sakes. I'm having a baby this winter and we've picked middle names that have family connections, for us it's a nice way to link our child to their family

We gave my dad's name to our DS as a middle name and it meant the absolute world to him, and now that my dad has passed away, it means the world to DS that he will be carrying a reminder of his dearly beloved grandfather with him throughout his life.

My son has a unique first name and two family members names as his middle names.

You haven't really made the case "why on earth" it would not be ok to use their names.

All my DC have at least one name after a family member.
Good example is DD named after DH's gran; DD's personality is actually hugely like my mother (which is to say, total opposite of her great-gran).

DD doesn't feel encumbered. She could change it if she wanted without offending me, anyway.

Am pretty sure that parents who put unfair expectations on their kids do it easily and constantly without having to impose a family name expectation. That really would turn out to be the least of the bad family pressure.

The cultural custom that makes me laugh is Greeks naming their sons things like Niko Nikopilos. Or Kosmo Kosmopopaladou. Why does the repetitiveness sound cool to them? Oh well. Different strokes.

I think like this as well - no idea why it’s so popular to name babies the same as living people in their family. When we were making name lists, those already in the fam were automatically on the veto list!

I prefer middle names to have a family link rather than a random name especially as they are never used. I think it’s lovely to have links to the past and family history. Names are often passed down generations.

I have categorically said no family names. I don't want to be biased towards one or the other.

That said...Samuel is a family name - and I like Sam as an option; but I've always liked the name Sam. Sam is an option, but its not top of the list at the moment.

DB1 is named for my DF, and the only other boy cousin on DF's side also has that name. Think a name like William but all known affectionately as Liam. I'd say my auntie was rightly peeved by that lack of imagination.
DB2 is named for DF's brother.
I am named for my DM's sister, an old-fashioned name, no end of confusion when she lived with us for several years when I was a pre-teen, still to this day she will answer questions which I'm pretty sure my DM is addressing to me. I'm too old now but I wish I'd changed my name to my middle name as a teenager.
DB3 got really lucky and got a name all to himself.

When it came to naming our DC, for DD1 we worked a way to honour my DF with a name which is a slight nod to his, and a middle name which is shared by both grandmothers. They were all charmed but there is no confusion.

My Ds was named the same as his Dad, (Dad known by shortened casual version of name) I thought it a bit 😦 at the time (I had the girls name choices)
However, we lost darling DH when Ds was 15 to cancer and he was totally devastated, they were very close.
He takes great comfort from sharing his Dads name, (and looking just like him!) and is now known by the same shortened version of his name that his DDad had.
So glad he has that name.

Aw yes. I am a new mum. I gave my baby a name I liked.
Nobody is ever so perfect they deserve to be honoured by a child being called after them.
Old names can be dreadful. I really hate the pressure I see some families put on new parents.
Name your baby what you like, even if that is a family name. Screw family that put pressure on you.

What is more ridiculous is people saying I want to honour my dead granny but I don’t like the name Margaret so I’m using Martha instead ( insert different names etc ) . If you want the name to be a ‘nod’ to someone then use the proper name , if you don’t like the name don’t use it .

My lovely grandmother raised me. My mother had postnatal depression and put me in for foster care when she had a breakdown. My grandma then took me under her wing (as well as my mum) accepting full parental responsibility for me.

I came from a single parent family, my father was abusive. I became a single parent myself as a teenager. She never gave up on me.

I tried to name DD1 after her (Dorothy) she told me no way, her name was too old fashioned 😂. This was 2008 so a long time before old names became fashionable again!

Sadly she passed away last year, our second daughter's middle name is Dorothy ❤️

Both my DC have middle names after people we wanted to 'honor'. I don't expect them to be that person in any way. I think its a bit weird that anyone would think that means they aren't people in their own right
We chose those names because we wanted to. Mind you it helps that I liked the names, although people have been rude about ds1s name and told me it's awful!

My parents didn't give me the same middle name that was passed down the female line on my mums side and I've always been sad that they broke that tradition. I'm considering adding it to my name. My mum has also said she regrets not giving me it.

Our children all have middle names that are after various family members, DH and my family are both 'honoured' and it made the grandparents very happy. My nephew has the masculine form of his grandmother's name (e.g. Charles and Caroline) as a first name, she died before he was born.

@Palavah

Humans have valued lineage and legacy as long as they have had language.

Surnames are passed down. Maiden surnames are passed down as first and middle names. First names are passed down.

People want to belong to something and they want to know that the spirit of people they love will live on in some way.

You don't want to. That's fine. Others do. That's fine too.

Indeed. My kids all have surnames from our family as middle names. This is very common in Scotland (and the NE of England) and there used to be a whole pattern - first son named after father's father, second son named after mother's father and so on.

www.scotlandspeople.gov.uk/guides/forenames

You don't like it - fine. Lots of people do like it and have been doing it for centuries.

My son is named after my grandfather and has his dad's name as a middle name. My daughter has my name as a middle name. Had she been a boy she'd have been named after her great great great grandfather and middle name after my dad.

I like all those names and I like the traditions of passing on names. My middle name is both my mums and grandads (gender neutral name) my brother's middle name is the same as my son's first name. My husband has his dad's name as a middle name. It's just a thing in my family I guess.

Bit PA with the ""
Where I am it's tradition to honour grandparents by including their names somewhere.
It's just a nice thing to do if you want to do it.

Perhaps the people who’ve said that value the continuing legacy, heritage and history of the name more than they value their child having a middle name (for example) that they absolutely adore. That name is a connection to the memory of or influence of someone they’re very close to or have/had a familial bond with. It makes perfect sense to me.

It’s all down to personal tastes...just like I’d never pick some ‘younique’ spelling for my child’s name whereas there are plenty of people who absolutely love doing that.