Surname help!.

[Champersandchocolate]

So I'm due my 3rd baby with long term partner.

I have two daughters already from my first marriage who have their dads surname - eventually I married him so we matched - and honestly that was the only reason why we married, we divorced after 3 years.

Current scenario:
I give my new baby my current surname (which is my ex husbands, doesn't make me think of him as the surname has defined my whole adult life since I was 20) and change the babies name if/when I marry my new partner.

However advice from my family is that I can't give my new baby, my ex husbands surname 😂

If I give the baby my partners surname - I don't want to live with the regret as I did with my first babies.

Anyone been in similar shoes?

I would give them the matching surname tbh so that they aren't different to the rest of you.

I know this is tricky for some, but think of the poor dad/your long term partner! You all having a different name than him! I personally think this is an absolute no, no!

It’s not your ex husband’s surname, it’s your surname now.
I think I’d go back to my maiden name and give baby that.

@dementedpixie Thanks. If me and my partner get married I will double barrel mine so I have both of my kids names, so they all match me xx

@LiveSimply Thank you. X

@GoodnightGrandma Thank you! I don't want to be different from my older children 😂 I would always double barrel my surname if I got married so I can stay the same as my older ones. Let's just hope I don't remarry 5/6 times or I'll have one long name 😂😂

@LiveSimply

I know this is tricky for some, but think of the poor dad/your long term partner! You all having a different name than him! I personally think this is an absolute no, no!

He could always change his surname to match theirs if that was an issue!

@LiveSimply

I know this is tricky for some, but think of the poor dad/your long term partner! You all having a different name than him! I personally think this is an absolute no, no!

If he wants to match, he can change. It's easier to change one surname than three.

Unless what he really wants is patriarchal recognition of his clan, of course.

@Zarene this is true but he has his own children that have his surname too 😂

Sorry OP I didn't mean to sound snappy to you, it was PP I thought was being silly...

In your shoes I would give the bub your name, with his as a middle name so you all match in some way.

Double barrelling is a pain.

Revert to your birth name.

Older DD’s go double barrelled: yours and Their Dad’s name. I.e you add your birth name.

New baby has your birth name and new partners name.

Then all the children have one of their surnames in common.

And stick with your birth name whatever happens marriage-wise.

I have an older boy with his father's surname this time I decided to give the baby my surname and will change mine and his if I ever marry my OH, I didn't want to have 2 children neither with my name.

I'd go with using your surname and double barreling or getting your OH to change his name if you marry.

@ShingleBeach I haven't thought of that as I am not sure the ex husband would agree! I think it's worth approaching thought. I'm sure his new wife would like me to go back to maiden name haha x

@ShingleBeach

Revert to your birth name.

Older DD’s go double barrelled: yours and Their Dad’s name. I.e you add your birth name.

New baby has your birth name and new partners name.

Then all the children have one of their surnames in common.

And stick with your birth name whatever happens marriage-wise.

I'd agree with this 👍🏻

Use your maiden name or double Harrell so if he is Jones, you are Smith, and ex is Morgan you have
Dc1 and 2 x Morgan
You - Smith-morgan
Baby - Smith
Dad - maybe could change his name to Smith Jones?

@Buttons294749 that sounds like the solution. It's been a long time since I had my maiden name so it's quite exciting!

It's not your ex husband's name, he didn't lend it to you, it's your name. I would ensure all have the same surname, and OH can change to your name (your current name) if he wants. You don't need ex's permission for this, because it's your family name.

@ShingleBeach

Revert to your birth name.

Older DD’s go double barrelled: yours and Their Dad’s name. I.e you add your birth name.

New baby has your birth name and new partners name.

Then all the children have one of their surnames in common.

And stick with your birth name whatever happens marriage-wise.

This

I know someone who had a similar dilemma so used her 1st husband's name for her 3rd baby with partner #2 so DC all had same name. However, she then married a 3rd man and took his name! So all DC had one name and she and DH another, bonkers

@Oblahdeeoblahdoe Yes - I think this is why I go back to my maiden name. Then double barrel the children with their fathers - so my babies always have my name. Then I will double barrel mine I ever get remarried - and if I get remarried 5 times then I'll just change one of my barrels but always keep maiden 😂😂😂😂

[quote Champersandchocolate]@Oblahdeeoblahdoe Yes - I think this is why I go back to my maiden name. Then double barrel the children with their fathers - so my babies always have my name. Then I will double barrel mine I ever get remarried - and if I get remarried 5 times then I'll just change one of my barrels but always keep maiden 😂😂😂😂[/quote]
Great idea, I like your forward planning 😂😂