10 month old, struggling with name choice

[SingtomePaolo]

Hi! I feel so embarrassed writing this but I really don’t know what to do anymore. I keep obsessing over it every day.

It took 3 months to decide a name for my 10 month DS. We were so certain we were having a girl but also boys names were very hard. I made collages with his pictures, I tried calling him different names from a list, I even recorded myself saying them. In the end, we had to quickly decide on the day we were registering him.

Now ten months on, I still cannot call him by his name. I’m from a European country and my husband is British. My other children have English names. My family pronounce his name differently to my husband, which I like the sound of. But when my husband or his side say his name I cringe so much. I tried to pronounce his name like my family but it doesn’t go with my other children’s and comes out all wrong in I speak in English.

His middle name is my husbands favourite name but I didn’t like the way my family pronounced it. I tried to call him by his middle name but it feels wrong too. It’s keeping me up at night and to make matters worse my husband feels exactly the same way.

Hi, are you looking to feel more comfortable with the choice you made, or what?

Fwiw I don’t think different pronunciations is a huge problem. I have a name from a European language but am British. Different people pronounce it differently. I wouldn’t call any of the pronunciations ‘coming out all wrong’, it just comes out in the way that suits the speaker’s accent and language.

Hi OP,

It'd be useful if we knew the name and the pronunciation so we can suggest things that are similar?

Is it something like Theo where you say Tayo, and your DH & ILs say Fee-oh?

Decide on a new name that is acceptable to both you and your DH.

Sorry pressed post too soon.

When I said it comes out all wrong, I meant that when I say it in my language whilst speaking English it comes out in an accent that I don’t have and sounds complete different to how my family say it.

I just want to feel comfortable calling my son something. I really don’t want to give him completely new names because I love both written down.

The name is Gabriel Sebastian.

The name is lovely. I can only think of one way to say it though.

Swap the names round and call him Seb. Should sound the same in most accents.

Beautiful names, I love them both. That doesn't help I know. Do you pronounce it GAYBRIEL or GABriel ?

Can you tell people to pronounce it the way you would in your language? Or do they still get it so wrong you can’t stand it? It is a beautiful name.

Are they pronouncing Gabriel the English way or trying to pronounce it the way your family would but still sounding wrong?

I think his name is lovely
I only know of one way to pronounce it
Gay-bree-el
What way would you like it pronounced
Could you changed the spelling
A lot of people shorten this name to
Gabe. This should sound the same in any accent and I think it's a gorgeously shortened name.
Please don't lose sleep over this. Not every parent adores the sound of their child's name.
Especially when babies are named after grandparents etc.. then the parents just accept the name due to its meaning

I once new a Gabriel and he shortened it to Riel (pronounced Ray - al)

You could also do Seb, Sebbi, Bas for Sebastian.

My family pronounce it GAHbriel and husband’s family pronounce it GAYbriel. The GAY is not the problem it’s the way they and my husband say BRIEL. It sounds like they have a mouth full of soup and just sounds awful and makes me shudder. I wish it didn’t bother me but it does. I can’t say his name either way because none feel right, only writing it down feel right.

@SingtomePaolo

My family pronounce it GAHbriel and husband’s family pronounce it GAYbriel. The GAY is not the problem it’s the way they and my husband say BRIEL. It sounds like they have a mouth full of soup and just sounds awful and makes me shudder. I wish it didn’t bother me but it does. I can’t say his name either way because none feel right, only writing it down feel right.

How about Raphael? The ending or Gabriel and RaphAEL are the same.

Can be Raph when shortened?

I sort of understand as I have a name that is used in many countries and can be pronounced in a few different ways. Just wanted to say though, that Gabriel and Sebastian are two of my three favourite boys names, so I do think you made a great choice!

Raphael is the name I wish I called him. But looking at him now it doesn’t feel right.

I know exactly what you mean OP about the end of Gabriel. It sounds so wrong in English when you're used to hearing it in a Portuguese or Spanish accent...

Does your husband equally cringe at the ending when he hears your family's version of it?
Could a compromise be made that only ONE pronunciation is the correct one, and everyone learns and uses it from now on?

We had a few similar cases in my family (albeit Spanish vs Eastern European accents) and my mum spent a good amount of time 'training' my grandparents, aunts and uncles on how to properly pronounce my name. They have never gotten it wrong ever since. If you can agree on one pronunciation, then everyone needs to learn how to say it - and no, it's not impossible unless there's a sound some countries don't even have eg TH - especially the other parent and immediate family.

Are there any other easier to pronounce for everyone names you both like? Is the pronunciation of Sebastian even more different between you two, than Gabriel's is?

Gosh OP, that is a lovely name.

Sybil?

The ending sounds close to Raphael & Gabriel?

Are you willing and wanting to change baby's name, or are you just looking for suggestions to call him aside from Gabriel, but still have his name legally as that?

It's a beautiful name.

It is a beautiful name! I had similar problems with my DDs name, we also have various languages in the family. For me untreated PND was a factor, could that be the case for you too?

I didn’t change DDs name (not possible where we live), she’s 13 now, it suits her and I can live with the variations in pronunciation. I’d still kind of rather it was different though.

Really great name

Gabriel is much nicer than Raphael which has its own pronunciation issues anyway. I'm sure if you changed it to Raphael you'd obsess about that pronunciation too

Gabriel is a lovely name, can shorten to Gabe if you want to take out lots of the pronunciation issues

Do you think you may be suffering from PND?

Thank you everyone. I do love the name and I think they both look great together but which ever way I pronounce it just doesn’t feel right. That’s my issue.

I have spoken to the GP regarding feeling anxious, was assessed for both PND and anxiety. Thankfully no PND, do have anxiety which is under control.

I think I’m going to come up with a personal nickname and call him that. Then he can decide what he likes when he’s older.

Just call him Gabe, I love Gabriel (Gabe're'el) but dh vetoed it.

I knew a wonderful man who went by Gabe. Gabriel Sebastian is a solid name I like it.

I totally get it. All my kids names are said differently according to our English pronunciation and the accent of where we live.
To an English ear, Gah-bri ell can sound feminine like Gabrielle and I totally hear your cringe for Gaybriall....
My sister calls her Gabriel: Gabey if that helps
Objectively, Gabriel and Sebastian are too great names. Hope you find a solution that works for you