Baby same name as ex?!

[baybemahmah]

Have ONE boys name I really like.

It is however, entirely coincidentally, the name of my first "serious" boyfriend. (We dated for about 18 months at 17-18 when we started uni together, he was the first guy I slept with, yada yada.)

I have no feelings for him at all, and to be honest we were so young that actually our "relationship" was more a friendship than anything else.

Fast forward the best part of 15 years and I'm happily engaged with a little boy on the way in November, and he's also due to be married I think next year.

I honestly just really like the name!

However, we still have plenty of mutual acquaintances from uni, and are friends on Facebook... though I haven't seen him in a few years, probably will never again aside from maybe the odd evening invite at a wedding.

It is one of the top 25 names from last year, and a classic, which is why it's popular / I like it.

Is it just too weird?! I feel like my friend group from uni at least (who would all remember us dating!) would raise an eyebrow.

My other half for the record is open to it / knows there's nothing in it, and quite likes the name too 🤷🏻‍♀️

When o read the title I thought that YABU but given the popularity of the name and how long ago it was I think you'd be perfectly reasonable to use it. How does your DP feel about It though?

If you both like it and it's a popular name then I can't see that's it's a big deal - if it's top 25 and a classic then you must have met/heard of others with the name apart from your ex-boyfriend? If it was something unusual (like Boris or something ) then I could see how your friends could be taken aback.

I think there is no doubt that some of your uni friends will comment / eye roll and you will need to respond with your valid and rational argument that it's a popular classic and a name that you and DH both loved and if they have kids themselves they will prob remember how hard finding a name both parties love is, and they will understand and move on. The connection will be entirely forgotten about after the initial reaction and you can all move on with a son with a name you love.
So basically can you and DH handle that potential initial eyebrow raise and if so then use the name.

Top 25 name it's really not a problem at all. You'll know others with the name not just the Ex so it's not like it's a fairly rare name where the only two people you or your Uni mates will ever come across is your child and your ex
Use it.

Ps. No it's not weird. Not if it's a classic and top 25 name. It's not weird at all. I think it would almost be weird if you avoided using it because of an ex from 15 years ago

Most importantly, what does your partner think?

@Violetlavenders shes said at the end her Oh doesn't have a problem with it and likes the name. 👍

Top 25 name I'd go for it. My son has a name that's a version of my brothers name, I can't stand my brother and we haven't spoken in years but I still love the name. People who know me well know I didn't name my child after my brother and those that don't know me well don't really matter!

@Violetlavenders

Most importantly, what does your partner think?

^this. We had a 'no exes' rule when it came to baby names. It did mean giving up a couple of really nice names (boys and girls) but we both agreed the rule.

Even if it does raise a couple of eyebrows initially, it won’t last long but your baby will have the name forever. It’s surprising how quickly a baby’s name becomes their own, you will all forget about who else has the same name easily enough.

I don't suppose either you or OH have an ancestor knocking around with the same popular, classic name, do you?

So if anyone raises an eyebrow you could say oh it's a family name, my great great granddad was called William (or whatever) & so was OH's great uncle, we think it's nice to use traditional names that are in the family...

I mean, I think it's perfectly ok anyway to use the name, but if you thought an innocuous cover story might help, that's one option.