Do you think you can sort of 'force' a nickname?

[ArsendLupin]

For boys we quite like a particular short nickname but wouldn't want that as the full name and we can't agree on a name that it 'naturally' derives from. I want a longer name where the first and last letters contract into the nickname.

As an example imagine the nickname was Ben. We didn't like Benjamin, but we liked Bevan - shortened to Ben. (Bevan is not the name )

Is that just daft? DH thinks nicknames should naturally be the starting sound of the name (ie Bev for Bevan) and people will use that. I think we can encourage any nickname we like, if we just use it from birth (ie Kit for Christopher)

Ps we have agreed we're not giving the nickname as the full name - we both want a longer name as the given name.

Think the way to do it is just to call them that every day since they’re born. It would only be ‘forced’ if you called them their proper name then randomly after a few years tried to introduce the nickname

As long as you use the name you want from birth it will be fine.

But if the nickname is completely different/unrelated to the BC name it will be hard for him to ever switch to the BC name rendering it useless anyway.

If he's known as Phil his whole life it will be difficult to go 'actually my name is Derek and I'd like to be called Derek from now on'. Because it's so different.

Bevan to Ben is fine though.

Just call him 'Ben' on the birth certificate! Why does he need a longer name if you don't want anyone to use it?
I had a couple of friends who were Jenny/Jennie. Just that. Not Jennifer. Actually, one of them had to get her GCSE certificates changed as they'd lengthened her name to Jennifer!
I've also known people who go by a completely different name to there registered one.

As someone who called their child Ben (not really name) in this scenario, I don't really understand why people put long names on birth certificates that will never be used - but each to their own!

However, based on my experience, you can influence what 90% of people call your child but there will always be people who ignore you! We quite frequently get "Benjamin" and my brother insists on calling our joint nephew by a derivative form of his given name which no-one else uses!

I wouldn’t bother choosing a name specifically for the nickname. Different if you just happened to like it but it seems you’re trying to fit the nickname into a name rather than choosing a nickname from your child’s name. I would just call him Ben if that’s what you want his name to be.

I have an Emily who was Milly until she got to secondary school, ( she decided she wanted to be known as Emily) . We call her both names.

Dd2 is nn Lula or Tula first name begins with an L

And the youngest DD was Bob for years....

Yup, worked for my DS.

IMO nicknames are something like a Ben who goes by Benjybean or Spike.

My son is for example William but goes by Liam instead of the usual Will/Billy (Not that name, a less obvious shortening).

We just said from the start, ‘this is Liam (William) John Jones, 8lb10 born 10am 10/7/21’ and that was that.

I remember reading an interview with Kit thingy from Game of Thrones (Jon Snow) who said he didn't find out his official name was Christopher until he was about 11 years old. Not sure if he was just a particularly unobservant and unquestioning child but it shows it can work

I know lots of people, including DB, who are known by their second name. They are always called by their second name and introduce themselves by their second name. But wherever their passport name is used they have to remember they have a different name! So it’s just a matter of usage IME

Yes you can absolutely do this. One of my kids is known day to day (including all their labels at school etc) by a name that I'm not even sure is officially a 'nickname' for their birth certificate name! We just introduced them as that name from birth, but we wanted them to have a more formal name on their birth certificate.

They do know their proper name as well though!

When DD2 was born we just announced her as “Ben**, born at 3pm weight 6lb”
Some people (MIL) managed to spell it wrong and was quite shaken when we told her that there was a longer name on her birth certificate, despite it being a completely standard name and nickname.
She reverted to her full name as an elder teen

Yup - our son has his full name on his birth certificate, but goes by a shortened variant everywhere.

We planned to do this. We liked the name Dominic (this was before scumbag Cummings hit the news) but not keen on the nn Dom so we planned to introduce him to everyone as Nico (Dominic) Middle name Surname.
Fortunately we had a girl instead so we were saved the explanations

Oh for heavens sake just put Ben on the certificate. I don’t understand why people have to make it so complicated:

Choose the name you want to call your baby. Once they are old enough to have opinions (MUCH younger than you think) they choose their own nickname.
So don’t choose any name you don’t like all possible variations of.

I have an 18 year old Christopher/Kit; when we named him, the Christopher/Kit thing was very unusual. We used Kit from birth, and that is the name he goes by. I just told people he was Kit, short for Christopher, and very few people have ever called him Chris.

Bevan is nothing to do with the name Ben misses point of thread.

Unless you say the name then we can't say if it's silly or not. I know a Arnold as they wanted to call him Arnie and a Rupert known as Ru. I hate nicknames.

Our daughter is known by her nickname. Most people don’t even know her full name or that her nickname isn’t her real name. It’s not a natural nick name for her full name.
However it’s a nickname for several other longer names which we didn’t like. But the nickname is my most favoured ever name. So she is known only by nickname but has a beautiful full name should she ever wish to use it and sound more professional.

I know a number of children which nick names, which are their full names. And whilst this might work for some people. I wonder if it will affect them if they end up a very professional environment. I would love to think no one would judge on a name. But unfortunately I’m not sure.

My parents tried for me but no one has ever used it and they gave up in the end! I have a nn for DS1 but I'm the only one who uses it. Exh tried to call him by the usual shortened nn on our way from hospital but I said I didn't want anyone calling him that - yep everyone does! 🤭

@Classica A friend of mine didn’t know her correct middle name for years. She always thought it was another name that she’d misheard and kind of rhymes with her actual middle name (like Kaye/Faye). It was only when she’d written her full name on her school book that her DM pointed it out 😂.

As an aside, no one here is ever know as ‘Kit’ for Christopher, it’s always, always ‘Chris’. Kids will make their own nicknames for each other anyway.

My dd has a full formal name but we shorten it, it is a normal derivative of the longer name though

You can definitely do this!

As an aside, no one here is ever know as ‘Kit’ for Christopher, it’s always, always ‘Chris’. Kids will make their own nicknames for each other anyway.

My Christopher is known universally as Kit, not Chris - and has been for all of his 18 years.

I know a Bill (who's name is Nicholas) and Ben (Andrew) I never knew their actual given names until I went to their weddings!!

@Fozzleyplum I’d never heard of it as a nn for Christopher until I watched ‘Upstart Crow’. In my area it would never be used, always Chris. I went to school with loads of Christophers and they were either ‘Chris’ or a nn based on their surname or sometimes an unfortunate occurrence. One lad got chewing gum stuck in his hair and was known as ‘chewy head’, ‘chewy’ or ‘chuddy’ for most of high school.