Do you need to have one middle name from each side if you have two children?

[sarah13xx]

We’re due our first baby soon and always knew our girl’s name would have my sister’s name as the middle name because she passed away. We’re having a boy (obviously no guarantee we’ll ever use the girls name) but we were really struggling for boy’s middle names. The middle name we have just now is my grandpa’s middle name (his first name didn’t go). My grandpa died last year but my gran is still alive and will be the only great grandparent left so thought it would be lovely for her when we told her he has the same middle name.

Is this bad if both are from my side of the family though? The girls middle name is a definite but the boy’s not so much, just think it would be nice. The only other middle name with any meaning would be my husband’s middle name (he isn’t entirely sure what the meaning is but he knows other people in the family have it). It actually does flow better but probably has less meaning or sentimental value. The only negative about that is 2 out of 3 of the baby’s names are the same as my husband’s name then so they only have a different first name.

Does it matter if both names are from my side, given the second name is from his? We both just have one middle name and I don’t want to use two names so we really need to just pick one! If we had second boy obviously this wouldn’t be an issue and we’d just use his middle name then

1. It's your child, do what you want.

1. Do his family know your Grandpa's middle name?! Surely not. If it's going to be a problem just say you love the name and don't mention Grandpa to his side of the family.

I always felt that the best solution to this dilemma is avoiding names already used by other members of the extended family.

We gave DS1 DH's middle name, which is also his grandad's, MIL's father's first name and MIL was still offended because it's my Dad's name too

@NuffSaidSam no they don’t, I didn’t even know my grandpas middle name until I saw it on the funeral booklet. I would rather have used his first name but it’s really old fashioned and wouldn’t go at all. My MIL will just need to know what the middle name means 🙈

Ds has my grandads middle name
Dd1 has random
Dd2 has random
Dd3 has my husbands mothers name.

Call your children what you like. Our two both had middle names from my side of the family. Our first GD was given a first name in honour of her mother’s grand mother but her middle name came from our side as did her younger sister’s. Both her brother’s names came from our side too. This was all in part because of the names the in-laws tried to inflict on them. The in-laws are probably more upset that they all look like my father’s family. That said, they are all quite nice looking!

In my opinion no. I named mine after relatives dh or I had loved/love and missed. Not to set a score of evenness. As it is we are 3/2 in dhs family favour as dd1 has a name that works in both families. However my mothers side has not been used at all. Has never been a issue. With ds we always knew he would be named after late bil it fitted nicely with his name too.

My kids have names from my side and not from his.

My kids have two middle names (as do I and as did my husband). My son has both his grandfather's names for middle, my daughter has my mother's snd his grandmother's.
I think it's a nice gesture, though my middle names are random.
Are families really that invested in what you call your kids though? Unless there's a traditional middle name just go with what you want.

You don't have to use any middle name. I don't have one!

Just choose a name you like because you and the child are the only one who will use it.

The sad situation with your sister changes everything. No-one would begrudge you choosing her name as the middle name (if you eventually have a dd). Your DH doesn't have a brother or similarly young/close relative who died so young and so there is no "equivalent" - for each he and his family are surely grateful.
Presently you have one son. Name him as you wish. If you were "only" naming after grandparents etc then I would say usually it would be best to pick one from each side, but the fact that you may have a daughter in the future and the sad and unusual situation with your sister passing, totally changes everything.

No.

@LewishamMum yes this is very true, it’s more about relevance and meaning so you can’t force that to be one from each side I suppose. We will just cross the future children bridge if/when we come to it I think!