I cannot warm to DH's favourite name

[BertieBotts]

Expecting DS3 in the summer. It took us months and months to come up with DS2's name (Leo) and in the end it was the only one we both liked. DS1 is from a previous relationship and apparently it's easier to name a baby when you're only 19. I do not remember having such strong opinions...

Anyway, since we still can't find a name DH reckons we should just take a list into hospital and see what he looks like when he gets here. I'm OK with that plan. But DH has absolutely and totally fallen in love with Niko/Nikolas.

I don't like it! I want to like it because he loves it so much, but I don't. The K is too spiky. I don't like the way it rhymes with Leo. I have tried to imagine a baby Niko (Nico is better but I don't even really like that, and anyway DH particularly likes the K) and it doesn't feel like my child.

I on the other hand am getting more and more attached to Alex/Alexander. DH doesn't hate Alex, but he doesn't love it and is hesitant because we know people called Alex, and I keep reading about how choosing a name you feel differently about each is a really bad idea.

But the thing is, Alex was never my favourite name to begin with! I just suggested it half jokingly as the only one we'll be able to agree on. My favourite names are Lars or Idris. DH is not keen on either of them. So I leant back towards Alex, and the more I think about it the more I like it. It's a cute name for a baby/child, but a sensible/nice name for a grown up. Every Alex I've ever met has been a nice, quiet, kind, clever boy/man.

The other names I like are:

Max (DH says it feels like a dog's name to him)
Rory (Might be tricky with locals - we live in Germany)
Jupiter (I think we both feel this is a bit too much)
Alfred (Alfie/Freddie) - DH says too old man and doesn't like Fred, although Alfie is OK.
Owen - both feel a bit meh.

DH's list:
Lucas (It's OK, but boring/bland to me)
Miles (Don't like)
Chase (Kind of like, but feels v American and not comfortable)
Hal (Just no)
Oliver (Too stuffy)
Peter (Too old)

What happens if we go in with a list and we still feel the same about all the names and we can't agree?? :o

Trying to think of names that fall between the two lists somehow (but it’s so subjective), how about:-

Leif
Silas
Alec
Jude
Eric
Milo
Kai
Ethan
Art/hur
Seth
Adam

congrats on DS3 @BertieBotts!

definitely don't choose a first name that one of you dislikes. that's a hard no.

depending on where you live you have 6 weeks to register the birth and you can always ask for an extension if you really can't agree on a name.
you probably know this already, so just a reminder that you can wait until after the birth to decide!

A know a few little Tobys so it doesn't seem too german.

Oliver could be Ollie, in fact all the little Olivers I know are Ollies.

It does seem hard to suggest names as you seem to swing between traditional names and more modern sounding ones on both your lists.

My ideas:
Anthony/Tony
Dylan
Milo/Mylo
Otto (or are "o" ending names no good?)
Oscar
Jake (Jacob)
Edward /Teddy
Nathan/Nate

* I prefer Lucian to Lucas*

^Another vote for Lucian

How about Tobias shortened to Toby?

@B0YS

It’s hard naming your third boy we also struggled & waited until he was born. Good luck

@BOYS

it's even harder to name your 6th!🤣
especially when their cousins have gorgeous names you'd love to have but can't because of same surname!

I don't know why but I thought of Micah when I saw your list.

There used to be an advert for a soft drink with the logo :-
"I drink Idris when I's dry"

I've always like Dimitri, Leif and Nels.

James

Just look at it. It's classic and beautiful and nobody could disagree.

@SummerHouse

James

Just look at it. It's classic and beautiful and nobody could disagree.

@SummerHouse

it's OP's ex's name and already used for her DS1"s middle name.

occasionally it's worth reading all of the OP's posts😉

How about Robin?

For whoever suggested a Nordic god, that would be read in Germany as the family being of an extreme right-wing persuasion.

It's probably more culturally usual in Germany for children not to have a 'German' name (old man/lady chic aside).

James is also a bad idea because it would inevitably become Chamesss.

Overall, though, I don't think you can go far wrong with Alex, and (controversially, perhaps) I also don't think you necessarily have to 'love' a name to give your child it. If you like it well enough, it will grow to be 'them' and you'll come to love it that way.

Tobias (pronounced Tobeeas) is pretty common in Germany, so I get where OP's dh is coming from.

Out of all the names you’ve listed I’d say Alexander is the nicest by a long long long way.

Robin was actually the only other one we agreed on for DS2 but then DH went off it at the end. I think it is a bit too close to DS1's name anyway. It's not disastrous but I went a bit meh on it as well. But I do like it better than some other names.

It doesn't really matter if the name is German or not but it would have to either be a recognisable German name or a recognisable English name, and gender neutral names are not allowed (but you can have a gender neutral first name and add a middle name that is recognisable as the child's sex). You can't have made up names, or names which are surnames unless they are already established as first names. So if we went for anything too weird we'd have to somehow get proof that it's a real name, which is normally done through the consulate.

O ending is OK but I don't like Otto or Milo.

I am way too picky and defo have the "name ick" problem someone else started a thread about today :o

YY I think DH hadn't come across anyone called Toby/Tobias until he started his German job. Also possibly the Tobias he worked with wasn't that nice - I got that impression but he didn't explicitly say so.

He works with an Alex (but who doesn't know any Alexes) which I think is putting him off as well. But I think that's OK with a common name.

OK, shall we keep throwing "definitely boys names" ideas at you, both traditional and modern, and see if any grab you?! Do you like shorter names or longer? Do you like the K sound or is that just your DH?

Luke
Sebastian (could be Seb or Bas)
Aneurin / Nye
Thomas / Tom
Ethan
Daniel /Dan / Danny
Jasper
Zak/Isaac/Zachary
Michael/Mike
Neil
Fergus /Gus

What about Luka? I know one with this spelling

Jonathan
Stephen
Linden
Ashley
Jonah
Angus
Fraser
Cameron
Douglas

On the gender neutral thing, I recall a case in Berlin yonks ago where the parents had to fight to be allowed to call their daughter Marie Christin, because (said the registrar) both of them can be used as boys' names (Marie/Maria is only ever a middle name for boys and Christin is definitely feminine-connotated in German).

Any mileage in Lennard/Lennart, OP? Only thing is there are loads of them around atm (or maybe that's just where we live).

I like

Lars
Alex
Idris

Like Niko
Dislike Nikolas however you spell it

You can if you like, as long as I don't have to respond to every single name!

I think I don't particularly like the K sound in names at all, thinking about it. Although actually no, that's not right because I like Jake. But there is a close family member called Jake.

Short/long doesn't seem to be a differentiation. I like some short names and some long names.

Not keen on surname sounding names (Hunter, Jackson, etc)

It's really hard to pin down what I like/dislike about some names. I can't find any patterns there so who knows if anyone else will. For example, love Toby but really dislike Tony. Love Leo but not in the slightest bit keen on Leon. Lars is lovely but Nils is not my cup of tea. Alex cute, Alec no.

It's mostly irrational/goes on gut?

I have looked at so many boy name lists/threads :o

How about Alfie, since you both like it?

Not sure how any of these would work in Germany but how about:

Franklin
Lincoln
Bram (can be short for Abraham if you need an official name in Germany but in the UK I would just use Bram)
Evander

Slightly more "normal" ones!:
Harry
Henry
Arlo
Jack
Theo / Theodore
Ben
Isaac
Thomas

Many of these are on my long list of boys names

Maxwell?