Help with surname hyphenation decision!

[cantdecideonsurnamehelppp]

I’m actually overdue at the moment, so baby girl’s arrival is imminent. But I’m still so torn on her surname. Not with baby’s dad but we are very good friends and hope to have a great co-parenting relationship. To pre-empt any ‘give baby your name’ comments, this is absolutely not going to happen. She will have some sort of amalgamation of both of our names, and not one or the other.

So with that said, I’m struggling with whether to use his name hyphen my name, or mine hyphen his. Or skip the hyphen altogether. The issue is that my surname is quite a nice, girls name - along the lines of something like Poppy. His is a standard surname but a name that can also be used as a first name for a boy, think something like Jackson. Again, not the real names but similar sounds ish and syllables.

First name is most likely to be a simple, one syllable name, not the name but for example Jane. His surname and the name we have chosen also start with the same letter.

So my options:

Jane Poppy-Jackson
Jane Jackson-Poppy
Jane Poppy Jackson
Jane Jackson Poppy

I worry that without the hyphen, my name will always be mistaken for a middle name. But I think it does sound better as opposed to his name first. Does it even matter how it sounds really? I’m totally overthinking it I think but just looking for opinions. And even advice from anyone whose kids do have both parents surnames and any sort of impact that it’s had? Any issues I should be aware of?

Wise words from Treacle Tart. Articulated far far better what I wanted to say.

Think to the future about your future family arrangements.

@notthemum

CormoronStrike. When you check it, I think you will find your suggestion of combining the two surnames in order to create a name that doesn't belong to either of you is fraud.

Not true - my SIL and BIL have given their children a completely different surname which is meaningful to them. No problem.

"Secondly, if you get married later and change your surname to share one with him, you cannot change your child's surname to match as the courts are really strict on keeping the original name."

Again, not true. My mum remarried when I was 12 and I changed my surname to my stepdad's by deed poll. My mum did have to get a letter of consent from my dad though - not sure what would have happened if he'd contested it.