For those of you that thought you'd never find a boys name

[coffeeandtoffee1]

What did you go with???

We're expecting a boy and I honestly think we'll never find a name that is "the one"

Or any top tips on persuading DH to go with my name choice???

I don't think suggesting specific names will help but changing my mentality towards names helped me. I think we can focus too much on finding the ultimate name that we absolutely adore, which is very difficult if you want to find one that both partners to have the same enthusiasm for.

My suggestion: first discard any names that one partner loves and the other one strongly dislikes. Next, you might not have a single name that you both love but you should be able to make a shortlist of names that you both kind of like and that neither of you hate. Then pick one and think "how about we just go with that?". If you both think "yeah I guess that wouldn't be too bad" then that could be a winner! A name that you "kind of like" is good enough, because as long as you don't strongly dislike it, soon as it's your baby's name, you will love it!

Another anecdote: my husband's first name is a name I used to dislike due to having met a few arseholes with that name. But once I met him, it stopped being an arsehole name and became the name of the man I loved. I think the same is the case for baby names: as soon as your baby has a name, presuming that you love your baby, you quickly associate that name with this tiny person you love

We made a short list and then waited until he was born to see what he looked like!
Straight away we knew which one, he didn’t look like 4 names on our list!
So if you can’t fall in love with one name before hand, have a few and see what your baby suits

We had no boy names we liked and we ended up with twin boys.

I remember about a week before they were going online and finding the biggest list of boys names we could and went through it all. Anything that was a maybe went on the list.

They were born early before we had decided and we picked from that list. Unfortunately our two favourites have the same initial which wasn’t intentional, they were the two we liked best.

They are both quite classic names and I’ve never regretted it for a second.

George

I had a list of about 10 perfect girls names and not a single boys name so it was typical that I had a DS. I just disliked all of the ones I heard or had suggested to me. We went with Theo after I originally said definitely not.

In the end I was just glad to have a name and to not have to think about it any more. He does suit his name though, can't imagine him being anything else.

Echoing what Snowisfallinghere is saying about alternative ways to find names, have you considered using a baby name matching app. There are several for example Kinder and BabyName. Like Tinder you just swipe through a selection of names and it tells you if you’ve matched. It takes out some of the ‘his names’ and ‘my names’ dynamic and all the names are just names that you both like. I do feel your pain though. Of all the boys names in the world, we have found two we both like!

Benjamin

Flynn.

We lived with him a week then husband came up with one (not on our list) and it fit straight away. You’ve ages to decide once they arrive so maybe wait to meet him?

We basically just chose one and it’s his name now (he is nearly two now). It does suit him, of course, as it’s his name, but I’ve never been as happy with it as I am with his sisters name!

Agree with Snow.

It's further complicated because I think girls' names are very different. There are lots, so there's a huge amount of choice and they are all very varied so it doesn't matter whether you like intricate, simple, traditional, literary, flowery, delicate, strong, influenced by a particular culture etc you will probably have several options that you like. And because there is so much choice there is a huge range in the sweet spot between too popular/ordinary and totally weird.

Whereas boys' names do not have that many themes. There are basically surname/occupation names, traditional names, biblical names, and then theme names so nature/fighting/religious etc.

There is not as much choice. So the vast majority are in the category of very popular and/or ordinary, which can seem a bit boring compared to girls' choices, or there are a lot in the category of totally weird. The middle ground in between is absolutely tiny.

We went with Leo for DS2 and we haven't decided for DS3. I really want Alex now but DH is set on Nikolas, which I don't like.

I don't really like many boys names I have to say.
If I were having a boy I'd probably name him after his dad or I do like James, that's the only boys name I like.
Can't stand the Bailey, Blake, Casey type trend

DS1 - we had a short list and a favourite - dismissed them all when he was born. happened to be just when all the graduations are listed in the paper so we ran down those and ended with a choice of two and just picked one.

DS2 - didn't bothr thinking in advance - a week and a half later he was still little master no name. We tried sticking pins in a map and nearly chose one from that but local accent gave a very weird pronunciation so we then each made a list of possibles, added them together and then passed the list back and forward vetoing until two names left. They were virtually the same (one a long version of the other) so I got last pick and went for short version, I let DH spell it as he wanted the gaelic spelling.

Conrad
and I think good thing we only had the 1 boy as I doubt we would have found another we both liked.

We did have a name but we had never looked up any name lists before getting pregnant. When I did, I discovered the name was number 6 even though we didn’t know any! This instantly put me off and I basically ruled the name out. I spent weeks and weeks frantically searching for another boys name I even liked, never mind loved. I had a short list but they were just names I thought were okay. Any I particularly liked my partner didn’t agree on 🤦🏼‍♀️ We narrowed it down to three but when trying to force myself to imagine my child with any of the other names I just couldn’t do it. Eventually decided we didn’t care about popularity on a list so we’re going with our original name!

Since picking it properly I have heard the name Reuben a lot and it has really grown on me! Always liked Ari too. Freddie came close as well

We basically gave DS a girl’s name 🤷‍♀️

I mean, it is technically unisex, DS isn’t called Sarah or Jennifer or anything, but his name is way more commonly used as a girl’s name in the UK.

We really struggled for boys names with both of ours, luckily we had two girls!
The only name we actually both liked was Freddie.
I had a few names that DH rejected: I loved Joshua, and also quite liked Noah, Lucas and Charlie.

Esai (Ee-sigh) and Adlai (Ad-lay)

Im having this struggle but with a girls name. A few women have used my favourite girls name in my small town in the last two weeks and two more girls have it on their list and I don't want a super common name. I discovered it was number 2 last year 😨😨

Find the biggest list of names online that you can, print it out. Then cross off names you can’t use (eg names of family members, ones that really don’t work with your surname), then take it in turns to cross off 5 names you hate until you’re left with 10-20 names. Then just pick one from that shortlist!
It’s good to test out referring to baby as that name for a week or so too to see how it fits 😊

@Snowisfallinghere

I don't think suggesting specific names will help but changing my mentality towards names helped me. I think we can focus too much on finding the ultimate name that we absolutely adore, which is very difficult if you want to find one that both partners to have the same enthusiasm for.

My suggestion: first discard any names that one partner loves and the other one strongly dislikes. Next, you might not have a single name that you both love but you should be able to make a shortlist of names that you both kind of like and that neither of you hate. Then pick one and think "how about we just go with that?". If you both think "yeah I guess that wouldn't be too bad" then that could be a winner! A name that you "kind of like" is good enough, because as long as you don't strongly dislike it, soon as it's your baby's name, you will love it!

Another anecdote: my husband's first name is a name I used to dislike due to having met a few arseholes with that name. But once I met him, it stopped being an arsehole name and became the name of the man I loved. I think the same is the case for baby names: as soon as your baby has a name, presuming that you love your baby, you quickly associate that name with this tiny person you love

This is probably the best advice I've ever read here and I wish someone had told me this when I started looking for 'the one' name

I was supposed to be a boy and so my parents had given no thought to girls' names.
They each wrote ten girls names they liked and used the only one that appeared on both.

We had names but couldn't agree on each other's choices at all.

In the end, I just basically nagged and wore DH down until he gave in and let us go with one from my list (Owen). Definitely recommend that as a naming-strategy!