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Original poster

What would you do?!

25 replies

Iamstrugglingtopick · 09/05/2021 20:01

Partner vetoed a sentimental name for our first child.. second child on route (gender unknown) and partner has said I can use the name this time around..
Brothers wife has used a variation of the name for her DC but the name means too much to me not to use.
What would you do?!

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Violetlavenders · 09/05/2021 20:23

What does a 'variation of the name' mean Confused

Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow · 09/05/2021 20:24

i need more specifics to judge propely

OwlTwitterings · 09/05/2021 20:25

Use it.

Twickerhun · 09/05/2021 20:40

Use it.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/05/2021 20:41

the name means too much to me not to use surely that's the answer. How close are the names? Does the name also have significance for your brother? How about as a middle name?

Original poster
Iamstrugglingtopick · 09/05/2021 20:42

Along the lines of Francesca and Frankie

I would be using the longer name which personally I would not shorten but I know I cannot stop shortening in the future but the cousins will not go to the same school, brothers wife used the nickname version.
The name is a family name on my side and DC1 would have been called this if it was not vetoed by my partner.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iamstrugglingtopick · 09/05/2021 20:45

They are not the names but I do not want to put the names so used them as an example

OP posts:
MadeForThis · 09/05/2021 20:47

Go for it.

Hazel444 · 09/05/2021 21:09

I think it would be a little odd to name first cousins such similar names, if it's a purely a sentimental name why not use it as a middle name? But ultimately it's up to you!

Are your brother and his wife estranged - is that why she named her child your sentimental name as your brother was not involved with the naming to let her know that it meant a lot to you?

Bimblybomeyelash · 09/05/2021 21:12

When you say ‘your brothers wife’etc, do you mean your brothers child or his step
Child has the name?

Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow · 09/05/2021 21:22

Is it sentimental because it is a family name?

I have a great nephew called Tom .(not really, changing names)
His dad's middle name is Tom. His grandads name is Tom, asnd are both great grandads are called Tom. My brothers name is Tom.

Nobody turns a hair, just thinks " oh that is so nice they've used Tom"

partyatthepalace · 09/05/2021 23:09

If it means so much to you, just tell them that (don’t say you hope they don’t mind because you are going to do it anyway). It’s not that unusual to have cousins with the same or similar names eg an Emma and an Emily etc, so just don’t make a big deal of it

CaffiSaliMali · 10/05/2021 10:44

I suppose it depends how close the names are.

If you want to use Margaret and niece's name is a less obvious variant of Margaret such as Daisy or Peggy, that's different to if niece's name is Maggie.

Marie and Maria are very similar but Maria and Mary/Mari/Marian/Mair/Meira not quite as much.

Jamie and James more obvious than Jamie and Jacob or James and Jacob.

Why is the name sentimental? Is it a family name and your brother has named his child after a beloved aunt/uncle/grandparent? If so he presumably knew it was likely that a sibling may also want to use the name.

Is there another nickname you could use? E.g. niece is Eliza could your Elizabeth be known as Beth instead?

Original poster
Iamstrugglingtopick · 10/05/2021 11:07

Yes name of a grandparent. My partner originally vetoed the name however has since said if we had another girl I could choose the name. SIL knew I wanted for DC1

OP posts:
Lemonlemon88 · 10/05/2021 11:14

I don't think you can complain they used it when you didn't call your own child it. Madeleine was on my list for DC1 and I would have considered it for DC2 but I now have a niece called Maddison so I wouldn't use it. But I have Katherine and Kate as cousins and noone cares about that.

Original poster
Iamstrugglingtopick · 10/05/2021 11:25

I am not complaining? As I previously stated DC1 would have been called this name if partner would have allowed.

OP posts:
Jannetra17 · 10/05/2021 11:29

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Synchrony · 10/05/2021 11:39

I'd use it. I think you answered your own question "the name means too much to me not to use".

ThatIsMyPotato · 10/05/2021 11:43

Use it if it means that much to you.

Violetlavenders · 10/05/2021 12:19

It’s not that unusual to have cousins with the same or similar names

Yes I find that very odd.

We name people so that they can be easily identified. Would be annoying to have two grandchildren with the same (nick)name!

LorraineGibson · 10/05/2021 13:39

@Iamstrugglingtopick

Partner vetoed a sentimental name for our first child.. second child on route (gender unknown) and partner has said I can use the name this time around.. Brothers wife has used a variation of the name for her DC but the name means too much to me not to use. What would you do?!
Thinking of naming my child Adolf but not sure x She's a girl let me know what you guys think
Hazel444 · 10/05/2021 13:52

@Iamstrugglingtopick

Yes name of a grandparent. My partner originally vetoed the name however has since said if we had another girl I could choose the name. SIL knew I wanted for DC1
Still don't get why you are blaming your SIL but not your brother? Seeing as it's a grandparent's name surely this was your brother's idea? Also if they knew you considered it for your first child's name but didn't use it, then surely the name was 'fair game'?
MimiDaisy11 · 10/05/2021 14:22

I'd go for it. If it means a lot to you. I don't think it'd bother me if my sister or a cousin had a child with a similar name.

brads88 · 10/05/2021 14:31

Use it. My BIL & his (blood) cousin share the same name. It's not a big deal.

Ollinisca · 11/05/2021 02:28

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