Will an unusual name cause problems?

[Winter5]

I really want to call our little girl Ophelia! I realise it isn’t the most out - there name but I have never come across any myself.

I have since read all sorts online mocking the name etc and it has put me off slightly even though I appreciate everyone has different tastes.

I wondered if any parents who have named their children something a little different could offer their opinion!

My main concern is bullying in future...will my child resent me for making them possibly stand out (?!).. thinking back I can’t remember any kids being picked on purely based on their name.. though maybe I was just lucky I didn’t experience it myself ( ?!)

Opinions welcome :-)

Call them what you like, there'll always be someone who doesnt like it. It'll get shortened to something probably and there'll be plenty of people who have no idea of her character in Hamlet anyway.

Ophelia is fine as long as your surname doesn't sound or rhyme with something rude ("I feel ya Balls/Johnson" etc). 20 years ago it would have been brave, but it's in the top 200 names now so hardly very unusual - I'd be surprised if there was any teasing these days. It's a gorgeous, romantic/poetic feeling name imo - I like the cool nn Effie with it but you could use Leah too. If you are really worried, there is always the similar Aurelia - nn Rae, also approaching the top 200.

Thanks for the replies. They have reassured me ! That’s true about spelling. Personally I am quite envious when I hear unusual names people have given their children :-) I think my own would have completely different names if the decision was solely mine . I think I will use Ophelia, if not first then definitely a middle ...my partner is not so sure as a first name, but if we have to compromise ...people still go by their middle name sometimes right?

Bullying can be done using anything. I know one man bullied for a while in his early teens about the fact that his middle name of Benedict was put on some school list. Apparently that was the most out tgere and ridiculous name anyone could have.

I say bullied about, rather than bullied for, because the name clearly wasn't the reason. It was just a tool to get a rise from the victim. If it hadn't been that it would have been something else.

As a PP said, most kids just learn the names of kids in their class and school and view them as their names, no matter how unusual or creative they are. I would draw the line now at Dick, Fanny, Willy, Gay etc, but otherwise choose the name you like.

Bullying isn't solved by appealing to logic over eg. a name. It needs addressing whatever form and pretext it takes.

Ophelia is one of my favourite names

I know three little Ophelias and have never thought that it was a particularly unusual name. I wouldn't worry OP.

Plus it's a lovely name .

Aurelia is lovely too. It has a similar sound but a bit less risky.

I have a really unusual name. I've only heard of one or two others in real life, and to top it all off, my mum changed the spelling when I was 1 so people would pronounce it slightly differently from the usual way (which is still really unusual).

It doesn't bother me at all. Never has! It's hard to know how it sounds to other people from the outside, since I'm living with it from the inside. I often get comments that it's lovely/pretty/unusual and questions about how my parents picked it (from a name book - not very exciting, and it begins with 'A' so it's not like they got very far!). I'm sure many people hate it. I'd never ever pick it for my own children, but not because I haven't been happy with it on myself.

I guess what I'm saying is - once your name becomes attached to you, all those other considerations fade away. It's the name that you belong with, and it's part of your identity, and it doesn't seem unusual to you or anybody else that you would be called that. People who don't know you might judge, but on here people would judge you for having a popular name too, so who cares?!

Plus, as others have said, you're picking a name that everybody has heard of. Not something with horrible or strange associations! If you love it, go for it.

I think it's lovely and no unusual in any negative way. The only person I've known that was teased for their (surname) was because it began with bum.

I have an unusual name. The nearest to a problem I've come is that it needs to be spelt for some people, but I've got a very common surname and that needs spelling just as often.

Ella's are everywhere, go with Ophelia, nn Effie.

It may depend on where you live, but I wouldn't hesitate to use Ophelia myself. I know one. It's a nice name. Nothing embarrassing about it at all imo.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

The most annoying thing about having an 'unusual' name growing up was never being able to get any novelty gifts with my name on.

Yes I second this :D never a pen with my name on!

Opheila isn't that unusual anymore. But when she is older she might appreciate not having a more commonly used name to help her stand out a bit in the workplace etc.

I know someone who was going to use Ophelia for DD until her relative said kids at school will say "can I have Ophelia tits" 🤦‍♀️ she didn't use it in the end!

Thanks again for the replies. The only reservation I had initially was (that in my head) it sounded a little pretentious! After looking at numerous threads I came across all the associations/ possible sayings like above & worse .. it actually never once crossed my mind prior to this, which is sad really as it’s then led to overthinking the name/ looking up all the possible insults rather than taking it at face value ! I suppose there’s thousands of names that could be associated with something rude/ insulting .. so I don’t know if it actually matters or not now. As a PP has said, bullying can happen regardless of name, I just wouldn’t want to be setting my child up for a lifetime of embarrassment!

@Winter5

Thanks again for the replies. The only reservation I had initially was (that in my head) it sounded a little pretentious! After looking at numerous threads I came across all the associations/ possible sayings like above & worse .. it actually never once crossed my mind prior to this, which is sad really as it’s then led to overthinking the name/ looking up all the possible insults rather than taking it at face value ! I suppose there’s thousands of names that could be associated with something rude/ insulting .. so I don’t know if it actually matters or not now. As a PP has said, bullying can happen regardless of name, I just wouldn’t want to be setting my child up for a lifetime of embarrassment!

My daughter is called Ophelia, I certainly wasn't expecting that to be the name when I clicked on the thread. No one where I live has ever heard the name (except those that know Shakespeare which is not why we personally went with it) and the reactions are always 'Wow, what a beautiful name' when we're at the playground etc. The way it sounds here with the 'accent' (Northern Ireland) is lovely too. Not so much in Australia where she was born

I read the I feel ya stuff before I had her as well. Don't let it worry you. It's childish adults coming up with that nonsense not children themselves. We always use her full name as no nn has stuck and it does get to be a mouthful being four syllables. Her uncle does call her 'O' or 'Fee' though which I like.

I have a thread up at the moment 'Sibling for Ophelia' any suggestions OP?

OMG now I am reading old threads on the name Ophelia. WHY do people always bring up Shakespeare. Like other names have no associations at all. This name gets picked on because people wouldn't be 'brave enough' to use it themselves. Grown adults suggesting sibling name 'Balls' etc. It's a beautiful name.

It's a completely normal name and not unusual. Go for it, it's a nice name.

I liked Fabian. A few people when I mentioned it said kid would get bullied. We went with Xavier because DH didn't like it not the bullying comment but randomly the new boy I'm class is Fabian (it's very much not a popular name so would have been incredibly odd to have in the same WC classroom!) and DS just thinks it's a name. He corrected my pronunciation but that was all. Yet he hears a name like Gemma and says it sounds funny, what a strange name.

Kids are odd.

Ophelia is beautiful

A colleague recently named their newborn Ophelia. I think it’s becoming more popular. I also think children are very accepting of other children’s names. I’m a teacher and have had many unusually named children through my hands.

@FluWorldOrder

OMG now I am reading old threads on the name Ophelia. WHY do people always bring up Shakespeare. Like other names have no associations at all. This name gets picked on because people wouldn't be 'brave enough' to use it themselves. Grown adults suggesting sibling name 'Balls' etc. It's a beautiful name.

You’re totally right, that is the feeling I get - & that it is the adults making childish associations. I also dont know why the link to hamlet is seen as a problem, that doesn’t bother me. She is a made up character & as you say nearly every other name could be associated with something ! My main concern was the insults I had read.. had I completely overlooked what others see as obvious, are people really going to be saying these things to my daughter...! Perhaps I have labelled the thread incorrectly and my concerns were more around this name in particular that, having read these comments doesn’t seem to be too ‘unusual’ after all.

Thank you for your help & your daughter has a beautiful name !

@XaviersMum1

I liked Fabian. A few people when I mentioned it said kid would get bullied. We went with Xavier because DH didn't like it not the bullying comment but randomly the new boy I'm class is Fabian (it's very much not a popular name so would have been incredibly odd to have in the same WC classroom!) and DS just thinks it's a name. He corrected my pronunciation but that was all. Yet he hears a name like Gemma and says it sounds funny, what a strange name.

Kids are odd.

Ophelia is beautiful

What are the odds of that ! I do like your choice of Xavier though, that’s a great name. Kids are odd aren’t they my five year old thinks the funniest name in her classroom is a little girl with a surname that sounds like ‘window’ (?!) she didn’t actually bat an eyelid at the name Ophelia.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

The most annoying thing about having an 'unusual' name growing up was never being able to get any novelty gifts with my name on.

The most annoying thing about having a ‘popular’ name growing up was never being able to get novelty gifts with my name on. They were always all sold out!