Do you have to love a name?

[May2021Mummy]

We're really struggling for a boys name. we have 3 that we can both agree on that we like and that's about it.

I really loved the girls name we picked but we are having a boy and it's making me feel bad that I can't find a name for him that we can both agree on and love.

Does it really matter? Or will I just end up loving the name because it's him?

Ive looked through so many name lists videos books, it's so frustrating

I do think boys names are so much harder. They also aren’t as ‘Pretty’ as girls names.

My DS really suits his name but I don’t love it like I did with the name of my DD.

Just to add, I’d never met anyone who had the same name as my DD (although it’s not that unusual).

My son’s name is much more popular but i’d never met anyone with that name that I didn’t like. To me, it’s a happy and friendly name.

We are having exactly the same issue. 3 names we agree in but don’t LOVE like we did with our other three. We had a girls name picked out thought that we loved. It’s weird picking one this time as it feels like I’m settling for a name (in comparison to how I felt previously)...hoping when he is here it will be easier x

We are having the same issue! I have 2 girls and love their names but struggling with a name for this boy I want something that will stand out but can't find anything without it sounding silly I do think you need to really like it tho and You'll soon get used to it xx

We found boys harder too.
Didn't actually have a name for #1. After hubby changed his mind at 32 weeks.

Second time round we decided quite easily. For some reason once we had a older sibling name already and could match to the style or feel it was less difficult.

You do not have to love a name. You have to not mind it, and then as you love your child, it will just be their name and you love them. People really get over-invested in naming, imo. It's fine to be a bit more relaxed about it.

We only had one name that we both liked and that was fine. As PP said as long as you're both happy with it then you don't need to search for the impossible.
Having said that do you want to say what the girls name is that you love in case we can suggest something?

@bridgetreilly

You do not have to love a name. You have to not mind it, and then as you love your child, it will just be their name and you love them. People really get over-invested in naming, imo. It's fine to be a bit more relaxed about it.

I’d agree with that.

I’ve got 3 DC the same sex, and by the time we got to DC3, our favourite best loved names had been used. All the names on the shortlist for DC3 were ones that we both liked but neither of us loved.

So DC3 got a name that we both liked. And now that it’s their name, I love it as a name a lot more than I did before we gave it to DC3.

I find girl names harder. I loved too many boy names.... It was a struggle settling on one.

I don't think you have to love the name initially, though you'll be saying it a lot so the sound of it has to be generally appealing to you/not headache-inducing.

Also agree boys names are harder somehow. I didn't love either of my sons names when we were choosing. I felt bad about it too at first, saying their names outloud was odd and I had to get used to it before it felt normal. My husband and I could not agree at all though and our babies were nameless for ages whilst we decided and so we both ended up with names that neither of us loved. However, now those names are my sons and I love them and he feels the same.

You don't need to love it, you need to like it and be sure you will still like it when he is older.
Make sure it looks and sounds ok with the surname, and check for possible nicknames, or dodgy initials.
Avoid combinations like T. Watson, or Joseph, Rowan or Ewan if your surname is King.

Thanks for all your comments it has made me feel a bit better.

Maybe it's best we wait and see what he looks like 🤷🏻‍♀️

@sorryiasked the girls name we love is Violet

Violet is lovely.
Maybe something like Edmond, William, Dominic, Lawrence.

It's very tricky with boys names

What are the 3 you both are ok about @May2021Mummy

@Whatsyourflava so between us we think Dexter, Stanley and Toby are ok but I'm not even convinced I still like Toby or Stanley

My OH really likes Axel but I do not and I really like Harrison, Eric and Archer but he does not

So frustrating

Axley or Alexis?

Alexander..? Or the PPs suggestions? Then nickname Axel for your husband? And then you don't have to call him it!

Of course not! You’ll love your child and the name will just be him.
I didn’t love my dd1’s name (Jessica). I didn’t dislike it but her Dad chose it and it was a compromise so she could have my surname.
She’s in her 20’s now and it’s always just been her - and she’s amazing.
Conversely, I had a Lily 18 years ago when it was unusual and I loved the name intensely. As it’s become crazy popular I sometimes wish I’d chosen differently.
My nephew is a Dexter - I love it!