Using names of people you know...

[worriedwanderer]

...or know of, or through others. Ok, or not ok?

For example - two of the names we like for our baby (not yet born) are the names of:

• my adult cousin, who I don't have much to do with
• the daughter of someone I work with very closely (we talk often about our children).

My DH says fine to use them as they're not in our immediate circle, but I feel weird about it!

I'm probably similar to you in that I'd possibly worry about it enough for it to put me off. Is it an otherwise common name or less usual because that factors in too..x

For eg if it's an unusual name and I was the coworker and you named your newborn the same name as my unusually named child who I frequently talk about it I'd feel like it was a bit weird and wannabee.

For context, the name of my colleagues daughter is Poppy. It was actually one of the contenders for my first DD, but we went with something else. Co-worker then had her Poppy....

So, it's not that unusual. Definitely nothing that would make someone say 'ohh.' Same with the cousins name - Ben.

I really wanted my colleagues daughter name Darcie. We didn't go for it in the end. I think it would be a bit embarrassing initially when you say but once it's out I think it will be fine. Your not going to see her for the whole of maternity anyway lol.

I was in the exact same position, I decided I couldn't use the same name as a co-workers child, as I work with her 3 days a week and we do see each other as friends too. However I would be happy to use my cousins name as I never see him unless there's a family occasion.

The girl who mercilessly bullied me all the way through school recently named her baby the same name as mine. It's a very unusual name. I have absolutely no idea what to make of that.
If it's a reasonably common name then choosing the same one is neither here nor there, but if it's a very unusual name I'm not sure I would, unless you think the person would take it as a compliment you like their name so much.

My rule of thumb is if you see or speak to the person whose name it was "first" on a very regular basis (eg. weekly or so), then using the same name could be a bit confusing imo.

If you only ever see/talk to them them once or twice a year at family events (eg. distant cousin), or if your kids are rarely/if ever going to mix (eg. colleagues child) then it's fine to use the name, particularly if it's a common/well known one!

It’s difficult. DH and I really like a name but it’s the name of a woman we’re friends with and he works closely with so we discounted it as it would definitely be weird!

Colleague - you might change jobs then it wouldn't be an issue.
Ben and Poppy both popular enough for it not to be an issue.

My cousin (who I’m not close with, but I’m close with her sister) gave her daughter the same name as mine - I thought it was odd especially as it’s quite a popular name and nothing special. Her sister and husband also commented on it being a bit odd too.

I think it's absolutely fine. I would be flattered if I was your cousin , and think at least knowing me hadn't been enough to put you off using the name!!