Changing name

[Indecisive1234]

I have a 4 month old daughter and I feel like we've given her the wrong name. I'm thinking of changing it, however, along with my concerns about telling other people and the embarrassment of that, I'm mainly worried about whether my eldest would adapt to the new name. He's 2 and a half and I worry he'd constantly be calling her by her old name and it would be really confusing for him. Has anyone been through this with an older sibling?

Anyone been in this situation?

I haven't been in this situation. Personally, I wouldn't change a name four months in for all the reasons you say - especially the two year old (mine are close in age to yours).

Are you comfortable sharing the name here? Perhaps a nickname would help?

@Indecisive1234 I have been through similar. Didn’t change her name in the end. Why do you want to change her name? x

I don't think it will take long at all for your two year old to adapt to the new name, and I don't think you'll cause any confusion at all to your baby. I call my baby by his name and about three different nicknames and at 10 months he responds to them all.

Change the name of you want to. Others will soon adapt.

Thanks for your responses. I was between two names, chose one really quickly after birth and now wish I'd chose the other one. Sorry that I'm unable to share the names. The name just doesn't sound right to me and I really don't like the nickname for this particular name. I may need to just stick with it though because I'd feel bad for my eldest.

Your eldest will learn, i really wouldn't stick with the name just for the sake of your 2 year old! I've no experience personally but I've known two younger siblings who have had their name changed & the older siblings learnt the new name just like everyone else around the child.

I'd change it. 4 months is so young! I don't see any issue with changing it. Your older dc will learn.

I briefly wanted to change dd's name. She has a name which is a name in it's own right, for example Eliza or Kate, but I decided when she was about 10 months, that I preferred a longer name on the BC, like Elizabeth or Catherine! Excwpt with dd's name, I think the shorter version is the original and the longer names are variations, but you get the idea. We didn't do it in the end. I sort of wish we had, but also don't feel strongly about it anymore.

Apparently, baby name regret can be a symptom of PND btw, so maybe keep an eye out for anything else

You're right. I guess I just feel guilty for my eldest. I've been trying to introduce the new name to my toddler by calling the baby it over the last day or so. However he understandably just defaults to calling baby by the original name, which then makes me question myself and whether I'm doing the right thing.

If you do change name and eldest struggles. Try changing it in part first. So if going from Timothy to George, maybe refer to baby for a while as Timothy George around eldest and then eventually drop the Timothy etc. Kids adapt quick. Better to change sooner than later. But maybe try the new name out for a week or so first with partner or family, see how that feels etc.

Just realised you have a daughter
So from Timotha to Georgina

@Indecisive1234 I’m sure your older child will adjust to the new name over time if you decide to make the change.

@Indecisive1234, could you give examples of what the names are, and why it doesn't feel right.

For example it might be something that is too unusual, or too popular, or something too nicknamey or twee.

I'll try! So, her current name is something traditional (think Grace/Charlotte or something similar), and the preferred name is pretty but has pronunciation issues (there are a couple ways it can be said) so I was worried about whether she'd hate having to correct people as how is spelt is different to how the name is said. I've actually spoken to quite a few friends/seen this name on many threads and it's more common than I thought. I'm now wondering whether the pronunciation issue is really such a big deal.

Uncle and his GF changed their DD from Savannah to Sienna, she was only 6 weeks though, we basically all forgot she was ever Savannah she's 7 this year and is definitely a Sienna. It's upto you but everyone eventually just gets it in my our own experience.

OK. I'll assumme that she is Grace and the other name is Lila (Lyla/Leela) or Maia/Maya (Maya/My-ah). Having to spell a namme is a PITA, even if it is Leela-ell-eye-el-oh.

The second one will date badly and will put your DD into a certain age group. Think today's version of Brenda or Sheila (both are nice names BTW, just a bit overused in my mum's age grou)

Grace/Charlotte is a regal kind of name and will always be classy.

If you are struggling with it, remember that DD will be an adult most of her life and a baby for only a few short years. Give her a babyish nn for now (but beware they an stick). Lottie/Shasha/ Gracie-boo or whatever.

This was my dilemma at the time - give her a name that I don't love as much but that she won't have to deal with correcting people or give her the name I really like but then they'd be pronunciation issues that may or may not bother her.

I wouldn't worry about the two year old, just tell her the baby's name has changed, she won't even know that it's unusual.

We, including 2yo DC1, got stuck calling DC2 'Baby' for 18 months (because I couldn't get used to his full name and DH refused all nicknames - so watch out!). At some point nursery staff just firmly told her to stop calling him Baby and use his real name. It took about two days and then she was telling off anyone who called him Baby.

@Indecisive1234 My daughter’s name is unusual and can be pronounced in different ways. Also different spellings. I love her name and hope she will too.

OP, If the other name goes ok with your surname with no Flo Lowe type combinations, and the father agrees, change it. Keep the original first name as a middle name.

Explain to DC1 that you are now calling baby Grace Maia Grace
(substitute the actual names) now and wait until the name Maia sticks.

Change it sooner rather than later. My DD is now 4 and I wish I'd changed it when she was still a baby. Way too late for me now but I will always wish she was a different name. And she would have suited it!!

Agree with everyone saying to change it. Name regret doesn’t go away and it’s horrible x

Definitely change it. If you weren't sure what to change it to I would stay stick with it but if there is a name you love and want to use, you should definitely change it!
Loads of names have multiple pronunciations, it really isn't an issue.

Could you add it as a middle name then call her by that middle name?

Do it, don't care what anyone else thinks. You'll always regret not doing it. She's only 4 months old she won't know difference and 2.5 yr old will get used to new name quickly and won't remember her having a different name.

We did this! We registered our DD a long name that she was never called and she was always known by the shorten name ( although it wasn’t the obvious shortening and is a name in its own right)
It bothered me that her name didn’t feel official so we made the change on the BC so she is just the short name.
Some people say it’s cutesy and to have the long name which is often mumsnetters views, but as the post above says try not to worry about what others think and do what is right for you!