If you just can’t agree on a name, what would happen when they go to register the baby?

[TeapotCollection]

Just being nosy really 😊

Our neighbours daughter is due in a couple of months and they’re at stalemate big time. Her husband wants a name that’s been in his family for years but she hates the name and won’t have it. I don’t know either of them well but our neighbours say they’ll both dig their heels in. Neighbours are finding themselves hoping it’s a girl so that it’s not a problem

Does either parent legally get the final say?

In some areas with covid at the moment, births are being registered via appointment on the phone. The birth certificate is then sent by post.

So finding out the procedure in their area is important.

I think it's a terrible shame they can't agree on a name.

There were names DH liked and I didn't..names I liked and he didn't. Those names were discarded and we kept coming up with suggestions until we agreed on one.

It shouldn't be his or her decision.

My parents had agreed my name (and cards announcing my arrival with said name had been sent!). However DF went to register my birth officially but on the way met his friends for a lunchtime drink ‘to wet the baby’s head’. When said (male) friends discovered my name they told my DF he couldn’t possibly use that as it sounded like a ‘piano in a run down bar’. DF agreed I needed a new name and I was registered as ‘Elaine’* after his ex girlfriend! It’s almost impossible to change apparently despite M trying!

Needless to say there was no joy in our household growing up!

*not my real name!

I know someone whose parents had decided on a name and the dad went to register the baby, changed his mind on the way and gave the baby a completely different name, one not even on the consideration list! The parents are still married - if my husband had done that, he'd be under the patio.

My grandad did that!!

When my grandfather went to register my mother's birth (during WW2) he and my grandmother had agreed a name. He was in a queue for the registrar with about 6 other men and 3 of them had chosen the same name as each other (a seasonal name) which was very different from the name he and my grandmother had chosen.
He decided the other name was nicer so registered my mum with the other name (yep, the same one as three other babies!) and then went home and told my grandmother! Apparently she didn't get too cross . I think the original choice name was way better personally.

A friend of mine was known by a completely different name to her birth certificate as her Dad took it upon himself to choose a different name when he went to register. Her Mum called her by the name that she'd chosen and friend changed her name by deed poll as an adult to reflect this.

she says her son in law and his family have said they’ll use ‘their name’ regardless. Charming eh?

Eurgh, the 'D'H and his family sound awful.

I can see DH and I disagreeing name wise - we have religious and cultural differences to navigate and different tastes but I can't imagine either of us insisting on a name the other hated.

If I were your neighbours I'd be encouraging my DD to come home.

If the husband and inlaws are being this unpleasant to her now I can imagine they will be even worse when she's just given birth.

I have met several people whos fathers registered them with a totally different name from the one they had agreed on with their wife. Baffling.

Lol I don't know. But we were still not in agreement on arrival at the registry office and we'd left it as late as we could.
We finally decided and went in.

The family sound awful saying they will call the baby 'their' name.

I know someone whose Mum calls her one name and Dad another as Dad didn't like the name Mum chose (he was working away at the time the baby was born).

My great grandad registered my grandad with his choice of name, however, such was the force of my great grandmother’s personality that at his funeral some 80+ years later actual family members were surprised to discover that the name they knew him by was not his actual name 😄

I really dislike when people feel a silly family tradition matters more than choosing a name you like and hope the child will also like. It’s so arrogant and self centred

Generally if either parent really hate a name it should be vetoed (unless one parent is being a dick and claiming to hate all names except the one they want).

If someone is being this much of a dick about something as important as their child’s name, I’d be questioning whether I actually wanted to raise the child with them! What else are they going to be a stubborn dick about?

Tell the mum to register the child alone if they really can’t agree. Before dad gets a chance to!