Double Barrelled Parents - What's Your DC's Surname?

[Wanderlust20]

I double barrelled my surname when I got married. Some background in case anyone is curious/this info is relevant - I love my surname and I didn't particularly like DH's (it's harsh sounding) but have come to love my two names together - they balance each other out. I also felt like I shouldn't have to give up part of my identity when I got married (I was Ms. Wander for over 30 years) so the double barrelled option seemed the way to go.

We're now expecting our first child (a boy) and I'm considering going double barrelled again - I think it would be lovely if he had both our names! But... part of me is torn. DH would then be the odd one out but I guess I would be too, if he only took his Dad's surname. I also wonder if it's fair to land a little one with such a big name! My DH's only worry is what will DS's partner do if he marries ha ha, although I reminded him he's getting a bit ahead of himself there!

On the other hand, my husband doesn't object to our DS having both our names at all and the name we love actually goes better with maiden name so it would make sense. I'm also thinking that people will just ignore the first part of his surname anyway so I might aswell get my name in! I don't know why but people are forever ignoring my first surname e.g. so instead of Wander-Lust, I just get Lust or Mrs Lust (which really irritates me for some reason!).

Help! What did you do? Part of me wishes I hadn't changed my name and then just given our DC the double barrelled name... But as I said, I love my name now. Gahhh

Oh if it's relevant, my double barrelled surname is 4 syllables so maybe not that long...

Give them both your names.
You could always drop your husband's name yourself to make it even.

Give your son both names.

If he gets married in future he could drop one of the names and replace it with his spouse's. So he's Mr Smith-Jones, but once he marries Ms Davis he becomes Mr Smith-Davis. Or if he meets Ms Davis-Brown, they could both become Smith-Brown or Davis-Jones. So many options!

I really do think we are beyond the stage where kids automatically get the father's name alone.

I didn't change my surname when I married my husband. However, when our daughter was born, we gave her a double barrelled surname... my name-his name (other way round actually sounded better but apparently the initials were a bit rude!), and both my husband and I also changed our name, so now all three of us match. I did worry about giving her such a cumbersome name, but it's becoming more common, plus her first name is very short, so it's not something I'm worried about.

Both your names. If DH feels left out he can always take yours too.

Didn’t change my name and DD has both surnames, but on a day-to-day basis (including school register, nametapes etc) uses mine because it better suits her first name. Only uses both surnames in official papers (passport, birth certificate etc) and at the doctor’s, in case DH is the only accompanying parent with her.

DH was already DB'ed when I met him, a name from each of his parents. When we married we both kept our names.

After much arguing debate, DD was given "my last name-FIL's part of DH's surname". Her middle name is after MIL to reflect her surname was "dropped", but to be honest she was pretty sanguine about our choice.

So as a consequence we all have different surnames and I'm the only one that isn't DB'ed. But if you look at our family tree it's pretty logical how we're all connected so it doesn't bother me. It'll be up to DD what she does with her name as an adult, I'll try my best to be like MIL and be a grown up if she drops Dealer!

Give him both and he can decide later

Your DP could always double barrel too. The double barrels I know do get called both, so maybe it’s because of your DP you don’t.