DS name not sticking! Anyone else experienced this?!

[Paris2019]

We found out at 20 weeks we were having a boy but after exhausting every list I realised there were no boys' names i loved (whereas I had about 10 girls' names!). There were a handful we liked and eventually DH and I settled on the one we liked best. It's not a very common name, but not an unusual name either. Problem is, at 10 weeks old, I feel like the name is just not 'sticking'! I don't necessarily regret our choice but I simply can't get used to it and I'm wondering whether I should have picked a more common name! I know there's nothing I can do about this now but wondered if anyone else had experienced this?!

Is there another name that fits better? Sometimes a person just doesn't suit a name!
My cousin was apparently called Christopher for a few days before they decided that didn't suit him, and he's now called William.

Yeah I've experienced this, we couldn't decide on a boys name for weeks after he was born and in the end picked one just because we had to. I do really like the name but it just still didn't feel 100% right. He's 1 now and I still can't fully get used to his name and I call him by a nickname most of the time (unrelated to his actual name)

My girl is 3 months now and I feel a little like this too. She just doesnt fit her name or something. We did pick it out of sheer frustration really. We are both teachers so coming up with a name we dont have negative associations with is very difficult. With my first, her name just worked. I think with my 3 month old she suits a nickname version of her own a bit better, and I think over time that may be what we gravitate towards. However I tell myself its still a lovely name, and I do like it, so I try not to think about it too much.

Is it because it is an 'adult's' name rather than a baby's so they will suit it when they are older?

I think it's pretty common to feel a bit of a disconnect, naming a person is a big deal, even with a name you love. DD1 is 13 now and everyone loves her name (apparently it's cool according to the teenagers) but when she was born a few people mispronounced it and I did have a bit of a wobble about it.

I know more than one person who has changed their babies name after a few weeks so I guess you just need to work out if it's an unusual name wobble due to hormones or if it's a bigger deal. Whst does your DH think?

I found this with each baby. It seemed to take ages before I realised I wasn't whenever I used their names.
I think perhaps I just found it weird getting used to this real child called "John" instead of the imaginary baby. If that makes sense!

You say there's nothing you can do about it, but you can change it if both you and your partner want it changed. Though you might feel the same with a new name.

Honestly I think this happens with lots of babies. That's why so many get called sweety, poppet, dot, small person, dude, the baby and about another billion pet names. If you like the name then it will eventually start to feel like his name and the weirdness will fade the older he gets.

I'm still a bit so-so about DS' name and he's 16! I felt like he should have been Ben, he just looks like a Ben.

I don't think I ever would have changed it though, we just got used to it.

Yes I was the same with both of mine. I found it hard to make that transition from a name as a theoretical concept to an actual human. Both of mine were referred to as The Baby for a very long time.

I'm the same with my DS. He's a year now and there's just something not quite right. Perfectly nice name. Not overly popular but not unusual.

We couldn't quite agree on a name. Well my husband didn't agree with any of my suggestions 😂 and I just picked from his list. My no 1 name for him I still think he looks like that....

This really does seem to happen a lot and I think if it REALLY didn't sit right I would consider changing it if there's another you prefer but is there one you prefer? We're planning on TTC later this year and already concerned about finding a boys name I love as I think they're all abit meh! X

I think this is quite normal - I found my DC’s names quite ludicrous when they were babies (a baby with a “real” grown up name seems odd anyway). The only names that I think would have seemed “right” were more cutesy names because they were babies and squishy and cute, but I would never have wanted cute names as they grew so stuck with the sensible names we’d chosen and that I still love as names.

I suppose it depends on whether you think there is another name that is much better (change it) or whether it just seems strange to call a baby most names.

It is normal. You still say 'the baby' for a while. Correct yourself and others each time and you'll get used to it.

You can change it. Your baby doesn't know his name and it's simple to do upto 12 months old. Look at pictures of whoever the baby looks like, when they were boys to see if there's a chance he will grow into the name. Would your DP/Dad/Brother suit the name?

Also, rather than worrying about what people will think if you change it, just imagine the joyful diversion you are giving everyone from lockdown with something interesting to talk about and debate your decision. Talk to your partner about how the name and any nickname are settling, think about what he looks like and what suits him and be playful rather than anxious about it.

My friend changed her 3 month old baby's name. Why don't you spend some time seeing if you can find another name that feels right. No biggie changing it if he's only 10 weeks old.

congrats by the way!

Thanks all, glad it's not just me! If there was another name I preferred I'd think about changing it but I don't think there is. The other name I really liked was very 'safe' / boring but DH wouldn't go for it. Similarly I couldn't get on board with the name DH liked. There are a couple of names we really liked but really did not go with our surname (to the extent a child could be teased for!) so we ruled those out.

I always thought I wanted my DS to have a name that wasn't too common, but now I'm realising common names trip off the tongue better as they're more familiar!

I guess we just have to get used to it...

How out there is it?

Change it if you don't feel happy with it.

Could it be because your not used to the baby and him having any name yet? I found this with DD a little. When she was about 2 or 3 months old, someone asked me how “Mary” was. I replied “who is Mary?”.

Yes, with my DD I couldn't decide on a name so went with one that seemed 'okay'. After six months I realised that it was really bothering me because I didn't like telling people what her name was. So we changed her name to what I really wanted to name her all along, but had nixed because my mother didn't like it. Mum got used to it and now likes it! It is very easy to change their names before they turn 1, you just go to the registry office and sign a form amending the register. I say do it if you feel this uneasy with it. I am so glad I did!

We chose a very unusual name for our DS2. We loved it before he was born but I did feel a slight “uh oh” after we announced it, was it too out there? I never really considered changing it, and we did give him a very common middle name just in case, plus we used heaps of related and unrelated nicknames along the way. Ultimately what really helped was his older brother starting to call him by his given name as if it was the most natural name in the world. He’s 4 now and it’s his name, absolutely. I wanted him to have a cool name and he’s got it! A more common name would probably have been easier to get used to, this was definitely a departure from my extended family’s naming style (!)

I love all my son's names but even so, for some reason it seemed weird calling ds2 by his actual name for ages after the birth. We called him by a slightly daft nickname instead most of the time, and then one day he just seemed to grow into his name.

@unmarkedbythat

I love all my son's names but even so, for some reason it seemed weird calling ds2 by his actual name for ages after the birth. We called him by a slightly daft nickname instead most of the time, and then one day he just seemed to grow into his name.

I think that's what most people do for a short time regardless of whether they love the name or if they feel it was a compromise. It's a very weird feeling moving from calling them the baby or the daft nickname you gave them whilst they were still cooking to actually referring to them as a real person.

What's his name OP?